Category: New Mexico

AlbuquerqueAmerican

Jimmy’s Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

The first (and probably most important) English words my parents taught me before my first day of school were “May I please go to the restroom?”.  That simple phrase was the beginning of my love-hate relationship with the English language.  English can be a confounding language if it’s your primary language, but learning it as a second language is brutal.  I thought I’d never pick up the  many complicated sets of rules (and their variations) governing how English is spoken and written.  English remains a challenge for me to this day (and for exposing you to my multitudinous grammatical fox paws and malapropisms, I sincerely apologize). Even English names were a challenge to learn because many of them have diminutive counterparts which don’t…

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China Luck – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

A few years ago,  The Daily Meal, an online resource which purports to produces more culinary content than any other resource published a feature entitled “Chinese Food You Won’t Find in China.” The list was replete with many popular favorites you’ll find at virtually every Chinese restaurant in America: General Tso’s Chicken, Crab Rangoon, Fortune Cookies, Chop Suey, Sweet and Sour Pork, Egg Foo Yong, Orange Beef and even Egg Drop Soup. Many of these dishes were, in fact, invented in the United States.  You can’t accuse Americanized Chinese food of being subtle.  Brash, gaudy and maybe even over-the-top, but never subtle. In fact, the flavor profile of Americanized Chinese food is generally so gunked up with MSG, sugar, salt…

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Mulas – Corrales, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

How many times have you heard an elected official referred to as a “jackass?”  In the village of Corrales, that term could conceivably not be used as a pejorative.  Every year during the last weekend of the Corrales Harvest Festival, a pet mayor is named.  If the newly elected mayor is unable to fulfill his or her duties, a pet mayor pro tem is named to assume the duties of the mayoral office.  Corrales has long prided itself on being a paragon of democratic values and inclusivity though the winning candidate is usually a dog or a horse.  In 2022, the winning candidate was a peacock and in 2020, it was  Chip, a five month old miniature donkey. Unlike human…

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Whiptail – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

We all know New Mexico has an official state aroma (green chiles roasting),  an official state cookie (biscochito),  official state vegetables (chile and pinto beans), but did you know the Land of Enchantment has an official state reptile?  Chastity Bustos does.  In fact, in she named her new eatery  in honor of that reptile, the New Mexico whiptail (Aspidoscelis neomexicanus).  When I asked Chastity if she knew the New Mexico whiptail is a female-only species that doesn’t need male lizards to reproduce, she jokingly replied “it’s all about girl power.” Don’t get the impression that Chastity subscribes to the slogan popularized by feminist icon Gloria Steinem: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.”  Chastity and her husband…

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Gyros Shack – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

When my dear friend Adelchi Parisella introduced me to Greek food at Gyros Mediterranean back in the early ’80s, I thought to myself “now this is the food of the gods.”  As curious as any cat, I naturally researched whether or not the Greek gods of Mount Olympus actually did eat gyros and patates.  The only two “foods” I could recall the gods eating were ambrosia and nectar.  Research revealed that while ambrosia and nectar were the gods main source of substance, the haughty  mythological beings actually consumed other foods, none of which were gyros and patates. Dionysius, the the god of wine and pleasure and Priapus (a minor rustic fertility God, who protected the male reproductive organs)  were fond…

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High Point Grill – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” Ask a physicist and you’ll get an earful about quantum theory, wave function, subatomic particles and rarefactions in the air. A philosopher might posit the plausible premise that when there is nobody around, the falling tree makes no sound at all–a premise achieved by interpreting the word “sound” to mean a human experience rather than a physical phenomenon. With well-practiced prattle and deft circumlocution, a politician would probably attribute culpability for the tree having fallen to “the other side of the aisle.” Ask this blogger and not only will you get a resounding “yes” to the oft-posed philosophical thought experiment,…

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Hot Tamales – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

While the word tamale is most certainly Spanish, its derivation is from the Nahuatl word tamalli.  Tamallis were developed as a portable ration carried by war parties in pre-Columbian North America and were as common and varied as the sandwich is today.  One commonality among tamalli then and tamales today, is the corn meal dough (masa) which is made through a process called “nixtamalization.”  In pre-Colombian times, the process involved using wood ashes to soften field corn for easier grinding.  Today this is done by slaking lime.  Interestingly, nixtamalization not only softens field corn, it aids in digestibility and increases the nutrients absorbed by the human body. Though the fundamental component of the tamale remains masa, fillings for this delicious…

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Fuego 505 Rotisserie & Bar – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

“I have become obsessed with cooking meat over fire. I get prepared for it. I make sure I’m hungry before I cook it. The smell of the smoke and the aroma of the crackling meat ignites some ancient genetic memories. It makes cooking and eating significantly better.” ~Joe Rogan, Podcast Host Those of us with a carnivorous bent can relate to Joe Rogan’s ode to cooking meat over fire.  There’s absolutely nothing as mouth-watering as the heady aroma and melodious sound of meat searing on the grill or sizzling in a pan.  An argument can easily be made that nothing evokes a wanton lust more than smoke perfumed by meat as it wafts toward our anxiously awaiting nostrils.  The sounds…

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Kaufman’s Coffee & Bagels – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

Seinfeld: “What is that smell?” Kramer “That’s East River.” Seinfeld: You’re swimming in the East River? The most heavily trafficked, overly contaminated waterway on the eastern seaboard?” Kramer: Technically Norfolk has more gross tonnage.” When I lived in the Boston area for two years immediately following high school, those of us in the Bay State (even temporary residents) refused to acknowledge New York City was better than Boston at anything.  We were devastated when the hated Yankees bested our beloved Red Sox in the 1978 American League East tie-breaker.  For that we’ll never forgive Bucky Dent.  Before my first visit to the dreaded Big Big Apple (Bucky Dent is the worm in that apple), friends told me in private and…

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Slate Street Billiards Bar & Grille – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

Discovering a bubbling crude…Texas tea, black gold, oil that is, transformed Jed Clampett from poor mountaineer who barely kept his family fed to a millionaire residing in a Beverly (Hills that is, swimming pools, movie stars) mansion.  Moving from a tiny ramshackle hovel to a luxurious and palatial dwelling brought with it one surprise after another for Jed and his family.  Among them was “a good strong eatin’ table” upon which “you could serve up a whole barbecued steer.”  Jed’s nephew Jethro who graduated at the top of his glass…”by a good foot” found out from a friend that the room in which the fancy eatin’ table was centered was called a “billy-yard room.”  Ergo, the table was a “billy-yard…

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Restoration Pizza – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

My dad taught me very early on that all people have inherent worth and dignity and are deserving of respect and kindness. A lifelong educator, he had a knack for reaching students deemed incorrigible or unteachable–students the “system” would just as soon discard. During his funeral nearly forty-five years ago, these were the students who cried hardest. They had just lost their biggest advocate, a teacher who believed in them, at times more than they believed in themselves. What set my dad apart from other teachers is that he demanded–and consequently received– no less than the best effort a student could put forth. He tried to instill that attitude in all students–demand the best of yourself, strive to achieve as…