Dogos VIP – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Thanks largely to a 1974 Chevrolet commercial and its catchy tune, the phrase “As American as baseball, hot dogs and apple pie” has purportedly defined what Americans hold most sacrosanct.  Never mind that hot dogs are derivative of European sausages, they’re inextricably part of the fabric of the fruited plain. The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council (yes, there is such a thing) estimates that Americans eat seven billion hot dogs (so it’s not just me) during the unofficial summer season which runs from Memorial Day weekend through Labor Day. That’s 818 hot dogs per second and more than a third of the hot dogs eaten per year! July 19th has been designated National Hot Dog Day, but a case…

Clowndog Hot Dog Parlor – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Remember the good old days when the only taboo related to the All American hot dog was the felonious act of adding ketchup.   In the movie “Sudden Impact,”  Clint Eastwood as “Dirty Harry” Callahan declared rather emphatically “Nobody, I mean nobody puts ketchup on a hot dog.”  Barack Obama, the 44th president of the United States was nearly as ardent, asserting that ketchup on a hot dog is “not acceptable past the age of 8.” Not that much later, diehards still consider it a mortal sin to add ketchup to a hot dog.  Nary a dissenting voice, however, is raised at today’s “anything goes” attitude toward hot dog toppings. Well, maybe almost anything goes.  When I shared Clowndog Hot…

Alicea’s NY Bagels & Subs – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Imagine a world without sandwiches! That daunting premise would make a pretty fatalistic post-apocalyptic movie in which Dystopian societies exist in a nightmare of deprivation, hopelessness, terror and processed food rations (Soylent Green anyone?). No sandwiches–it’s just too incomprehensible to imagine, especially considering everywhere you turn there’s another Subway. Frankly, my own post-apocalyptic nightmare would be a world in which Subway and other restaurants of that ilk are the only option for sandwiches. Like the indestructible roach, chain restaurants would survive even a nuclear cataclysm. Alas, my personal post-apocalyptic hell is closer to reality than you might suspect. CHD Expert, the worldwide leader in collecting, managing and analyzing food service industry data reports that the sacrosanct sandwich, one of America’s…

Portillo’s Hot Dogs – Tempe, Arizona

Portillo’s story is the story of the American dream, a rags to riches saga that began with a single hot dog stand opening in 1963. That single investment has blossomed into a multi-million per year chain with six different concepts and more than 40 restaurants in the Chicago area alone. The Portillo’s Restaurant Group has become, in fact, the largest privately-owned restaurant company in the Midwest. Among Chicagoland expatriates with whom I’ve worked (and one whom I married) Portillos is consistently named as one of the things they miss most about living in the Windy City. Expatriates like my Kim know there isn’t anything like Portillo’s anywhere else in America.  Other than frequent trips to the Chicago area, their only…

AK Pizza – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“I hate it. I think it’s an abomination. There are so many awesome things here, I don’t know why that should be featured. It’s leading with your weakness. So much other great stuff.” ~Anthony Bourdain What could have rankled the ire of the world renowned celebrity chef, master raconteur and social activist?  Was it an injustice in dire need of exorcising?  Dystopian horrors in a faraway third-world country?  Devaluation of life?  Bringing to light those suffering in the dark?  No, my friends.  It wasn’t the broken world Bourdain railed against.  It was something much more apolitical…unless you’re talking about the politics of pizza, specifically between the warring factions of New York and Chicago.  What Bourdain found so appalling was Chicago’s…

Street Food Sensations – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Restaurant Insider, which touts itself as “your source for restaurant news, trends, information, tools and conversation” has observed that one of the catalysts most instrumental in driving a changing culinary landscape are Generation Z (anyone born between 1997 and 2010) diners.  With a spending power of over $29 Billion, Gen Z diners make up a quarter of all the people going out to eat, accounting for 14.6 billion restaurant visits in 2018.  Gen Z is increasingly influencing restaurant industry trends, prompting savvy restaurateurs to take a real hard look at their current menus. And just what do Gen Z diners want?  According to Technomic’s  2019 College & University Consumer Trend Report, “42 percent of Gen Z-ers want street food on…

Pig + Fig Cafe – White Rock, New Mexico

In its eighth season, the brilliant sitcom Seinfeld helped introduce casual comic book fans to the concept of Bizarro world, a setting which is weirdly inverted or opposite of expectations. In other words, a Bizarro world is a mirror image of conventionality, logic and reality, everything being reversed. Jerry Seinfeld’s polar opposite Kevin, for example, was depicted as kind, selfless and reliable in contrast to Jerry’s indifference, self-absorption and forgetfulness. Gene was quiet, studious, polite and giving while his Bizarro counterpart George was loud, obnoxious, cheap and slovenly. Some people believe there’s a polar opposite—a Bizarro version—of every one of us. I met “Bizarro Gil” while stationed at Keesler Air Force Base in Biloxi, Mississippi. While I (all modesty aside)…

Guava Tree Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

A few years ago, my friend Bill Hanson, a gastronome of the first order, was hosting several of his Costa Rican employees at Intel’s Ocotillo (Arizona) plant. Like me, Bill delights in introducing his friends to new culinary adventures. Unfortunately, not all our colleagues were similarly inclined (despite one of Intel’s corporate values being “risk-taking”). One of them convinced the “Ticos” that the restaurant they should not miss for a “true American dining experience” was Claim Jumper, a regional chain (and slight upgrade from Chili’s). Ever the gracious host, Bill acquiesced to the Ticos’ request. I’ll let him describe the rest (from his gastronomic blog The Tao of Chow): “As each dish was produced and delivered to the table I…

Urban Hotdog Company – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks Tough kids, sissy kids, even kids with chicken pox love hot dogs. Armour Hot Dog Commercial, 1960s Advertising standards in the 1960s were quite a bit more lax than they are today. In today’s culture of American political correctness, there’s no way an earworm-inspiring jingle such as the Armour Hotdog commercial would ever see the light of day, but back then it helped sell a lot of hot dogs. Even in the 1960s, Armour’s savvy ad agency undoubtedly understood the influence children had on the family’s food consumption budget. In addition to catchy jingles designed to appeal to children, Armour’s advertising agency enticed children with prizes to be had for a…

Slice & Dice – Albuquerque, New Mexico

You might remember a 2004 documentary called Supersize Me in which writer-producer Morgan Spurlock explored the consequences on his health of a diet consisting solely of McDonald’s food for one month.  Spurlock has nothing on Dan Janssen who as of 2019 had eaten almost nothing but pizza for nearly thirty years.  That’s pizza for lunch and dinner every day of the year for just about three decades.  Janssen is certainly no believer in the old adage that variety is the spice of life because the only spice with which he tops his pizza is oregano.  Nor does variety extend to the type of pizza he enjoys.  Every day he usually consumes one fourteen-inch cheese pizza for lunch and another for…

California Pastrami & More – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

During a 1997 episode of Seinfeld, the “show about nothing,” George Costanza and his girlfriend du jour discussed the possibility of incorporating food into their lovemaking–not as a post-coital meal, but in flagrante delicto. George listed as potential food candidates: strawberries, chocolate sauce, honey and…pastrami on rye with mustard. Yes, that’s pastrami on rye. His girlfriend, unfortunately, failed to appreciate the erotic qualities of pastrami and thus, their relationship terminated. Ultimately George met up with a woman who echoed his sentiments when she declared pastrami to be “the most sensual of all the salted cured meats.” With that proclamation, their lustful appetites took over and they succumbed to the pastrami inspired throes of passion, albeit also incorporating television watching. It’s…