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Monthly Archives: June 2010

Chillz Frozen Custard – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Chillz, Home of the Very Best Frozen Custard in Albuquerque

Chillz, Home of the Very Best Frozen Custard in Albuquerque

“Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.”
Ambrose Bierce, American writer (1842-1914)
The Devil’s Dictionary (1906)

Ambrose Bierce’s scathing definition of custard is not necessarily an expression of his disdain for the popular frozen dessert, but an example of his lampooning of American culture and especially its lexicon.  Starting in 1881, the American satirist began writing The Devil’s Dictionary in which he published alternate and usually quite acerbic definitions of common words.  His biting wit and sardonic views earned him the nicknames “cackling king of cynics” and “Bitter Bierce.”

There are parts of the Midwest (the Milwaukee and St. Louis areas in particular) in which Bierce’s definition of custard would be considered sacrilege.  Midwesterners feel so strongly about their custard, that an utterance of such blasphemy would be an occasion for a noose, a tall tree and a short drop.  Their passion for frozen custard is akin to the love New Mexicans have for chile and never mind that winter temperatures throughout the Midwest can drop to near Arctic levels, custard is an year-round obsession.

Just as most New Mexicans have a strong antipathy toward “chili” from Texas, Midwesterners abhor the “franchised soft-serve fare pumped full of air” which passes off as custard in New Mexico (and throughout the fruited plain) and which Jane and Michael Stern denounce in their terrific tome 500 Things To Eat Before It’s Too Late.”

A fabulous menu listing all the wonderful toppings for Chillz' frozen custard

A fabulous menu listing all the wonderful toppings for Chillz' frozen custard

The Sterns appreciate only the best custard—”dense and smooth, not as rich as ice cream, but even more luxurious.”  In their sagacious estimation, the very best frozen custard in America is found at the legendary Ted Drewes, a Saint Louis institution for nearly eight decades. Despite copious cajoling by custard aficionados to franchise, Ted Drewes will not compromise on quality and remains a two store operation in Saint Louis.

Albuquerque native Kurt Nilson attended a Saint Louis area university where he discovered and fell in love with the premium frozen custard at Ted Drewes.  Before moving back to the Duke City, he completed courses at the Frozen Dessert Institute so that he could bring one of his favorite parts of the Midwest back to his beloved high mountain desert home.  He figured frozen custard would be perfect for those scalding Burque summer days.

Nilson launched Chillz in June, 2009, the height of the summer’s blistering onslaught.  Situated directly across Central Avenue from the University of New Mexico, it’s two doors down from Walker’s Popcorn Company, another favorite of Midwest transplants who may have frequented Garrett’s Popcorn, a Chicago staple.

Chocolate frozen custard on a cone

Chocolate frozen custard on a cone

Though nearly eighty years behind Ted Drewes in experience, Nilson has actually two-upped the elder statesman of frozen custard by offering three flavors every day to Drewes’ one flavor (vanilla).  Chillz features a flavor of the day in addition to chocolate and vanilla.  The flavors of the day are inventive and exciting.  Kurt has even taken to creating ballots on which customers can vote for the flavor of the day they’d next like to see.  You can cast a vote for up to five choices on each ballot.  The menu, scrawled on the wall, includes more than thirty toppings–from the unusual (gummy bears, cinnamon toast crunch, Lucky Charms) to the standards (hot fudge, toffee, Oreos).

Ask the affable Nilson what topping goes best with vanilla, chocolate or the flavor of the day and chances are high he’ll recommend raspberries.  He should know, having a very personal relationship with the supplier. He obtains all his raspberries from Duke’s Raspberry Ranch in Edgewood which is owned by his mother.  The ranch grows Dinkum raspberries, an “ever-bearing” variety which produces fruit in the summer as well as the fall.  Chillz not only offers raspberries as a custard topping, but Nilson also sells his mother’s bottled raspberry-barbecue sauce (which is terrific, by the way).

There are some things you should know about frozen custard–the real stuff, the stuff Nilson makes and serves. Sure, it may look like ice cream, but there are vast differences. First, eggs are added to make frozen custard–1.4 percent egg yolk, in fact.  Second, it is much lower in butterfat content than conventional ice cream: ten percent compared to sixteen percent.  Through a churning process, the custard is blended with air to increase its volume, but it not nearly as airy as the franchised soft-serve ice cream served throughout New Mexico.  Frozen custard isn’t churned as long as ice cream and isn’t nearly as cold.  The result is a thicker and creamier texture than ice cream as well as a softer consistency.

Chocolate and vanilla frozen custard on a waffle cone topped with raspberries

Chocolate and vanilla frozen custard on a waffle cone topped with raspberries

Chillz makes its frozen custard fresh every day as well as its waffle bowls and cones.  The menu also includes sundaes, shakes, floats, baked treats (cookies, Rice Krispy treats and brownies) and something which, at first browse, might sound unappetizing, but is quite good–concretes.  In his phenomenal blog, Barry Popik describes concretes as “custard blended with any of dozens of ingredients.  Concretes are blended so thick that they and their spoon do not fall out when their cup is turned upside down; servers often demonstrate this before handing customers their order.”  If this description sounds familiar, you’ve probably had a Blizzard shake at Dairy Queen which is made with the soft-serve ice cream and not real frozen custard.

Real frozen custard–Chillz custard–is exquisite.  It’s as smooth as a baby’s bottom with an amazing taste and texture.  The chocolate has a rich, indulgent and expensive taste (but at a reasonable price).  The raspberries provide a tangy yet surprisingly complementary contrast to the sweet (but not cloying), creamy, oh-so-good custard.  This custard is so good you’ll want at least a couple of scoops; some will want even more.  For them, Chillz has a gurgitator’s challenge few will surmount.

A turtle sundae made with chocolate custard and the flavor of the day for June 26th, key lime

The Chillz Challenge: eight scoops, eight waffles, eight toppings in thirty minutes and your frozen feast is free.  You’ll also get your photo prominently displayed on Chillz’ wall of fame, Web site, Facebook and MySpace sites.  The current record-holder is “Big” Ben Monson who completed the Chillz Challenge in just over eleven minutes.  He was the fourth in a handful of competitors who have surmounted the challenge for which, to date, no UNM athlete has manned or womaned up.  Neither has Man Versus Food star Adam Richland who’s come no closer than Amarillo to the Duke City.

As of June 25th, 2010, about ninety intrepid eaters have attempted the Chillz Challenge, but only eight have successfully surmounted the creamy, flavor-rich challenge.  That wouldn’t surprise the aforementioned Adam Richman who doesn’t ever eat ice cream or ice cream-like products during the “off season” (when he’s not taping his show).  In fact, he finds sweet challenges the most difficult, particularly when they involve rich, dairy product.

Much as I love custard, it’s challenge enough to polish of a turtle sundae and it’s only got two scoops of the sinfully rich custard.  My turtle sundae, made with one scoop of the exquisite chocolate and one scoop of the flavor of the day for June 26th, key lime, was wonderful, an exemplary rendition of the popular dessert.  The key lime makes for an unconventional turtle sundae, but other ingredients (hot fudge, toasted pecans, whipped cream) are right out of the recipe book for sundaes.

Several people have tried the Chillz Challenge, but only a handful have succeeded

Several people have tried the Chillz Challenge, but only a handful have succeeded

In recent years, the influx of Midwesterners has added much to the Duke City dining scene.  From the aforementioned Walker’s Popcorn Company to Pizza 9 (home of sloppy and sumptuous Chicago style Italian beef sandwiches) and now Chillz, Albuquerque may not yet compete with Chicago, but then the Windy City doesn’t have anything like our chile.  They don’t have Chillz either.  We do, and for that, Duke City diners will be grateful every time the mercury approaches the century mark and every day it doesn’t.  At any time of year Chillz is a great destination.

Chillz Frozen Custard
2720 Central Ave
Albuquerque, New Mexico
(505) 265-5648
Web Site
LATEST VISIT: 26 June 2010
1st VISIT:  6 February 2010
# OF VISITS: 2
RATING: 22
COST: $ – $$
BEST BET:  Chocolate Custard, Vanilla Custard

Chillz on Urbanspoon

The Squeeze Inn – Roseville, California

Tried to amend my carnivorous habits
Made it nearly seventy days
Losin’ weight without speed, eatin’ sunflower seeds
Drinkin’ lots of carrot juice and soakin’ up rays

But at night I’d had these wonderful dreams
Some kind of sensuous treat
Not zucchini, fettucini or Bulgar wheat
But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat

Cheeseburger in paradise (paradise)
Heaven on earth with an onion slice (paradise)
Not too particular not too precise (paradise)
I’m just a cheeseburger in paradise

~Jimmy Buffett

The interior of the Squeeze Inn in Roseville, California

Just what is a cheeseburger in paradise?  In his top 40 song Cheeseburger in Paradise, Jimmy Buffett seems to infer that a cheeseburger in paradise can be any cheeseburger you consume after depriving yourself, or as he put it, “after trying to amend your carnivorous habits.”  There’s much truth in this.  Every dieter with whom I’ve spoken admits that what they dream about most after any period of deliciousness deprivation are cheeseburgers.  Cheeseburgers are, after all, America’s most popular, arguably most delicious, fast food offering.

In Buffett’s case, the cheeseburger in paradise was inspired by a boating excursion on the azure waters of the Caribbean.  While sustaining himself on peanut butter and canned foods, he fantasized about devouring a “piping hot cheeseburger.”  His fantasy cam true…sort of, when he landed in the British Virgin Islands where he found a restaurant offering American cheeseburgers.  Despite the specificity of his instructions to the waiter on how he wanted the burgers prepared, what he got was an overdone beef patty on a burned, toasted bun.  No matter. To Buffett, this was a cheeseburger in paradise.  It fulfilled his fantasy and “tasted like manna from heaven.”

Buffett likes his cheeseburgers “with lettuce and tomato, Heinz Fifty-Seven and French-fried potatoes.”  For New Mexicans, there is nothing as thoroughly soul-satisfying and utterly delicious as our ubiquitous green chile cheeseburger.  We have a fierce pride in that most simplistic, but explosive, flavor-blessed union of a thick, juicy beef patty grilled over an open flame or sizzled on a griddle then blanketed in cheese and topped with taste bud awakening, tongue tingling, olfactory arousing green chile.  To New Mexicans, it isn’t a cheeseburger in paradise without green chile.

The Squeeze Burger with Cheese: The famous 1/3 lb. 100% Beef Burger with all the fixins. Mayo, Mustard, Tomato, Lettuce, Pickles, Onions on a Sesame Seed Bun With a “Skirt” of Cheese (1/3 pound of cheese)

Americans have been adding cheese to their burgers since the mid-1920s though, as with the hamburger itself, culinary historians can’t seem to agree as to when the molten marriage of cheese and beef patty first happened.  Most credit Lionel Sternberger with having “invented” the cheeseburger while working as a fry cook at his father’s Pasadena, California sandwich shop.  Legend has it that Sternberger experimentally dropped a slab of American cheese on a sizzling hamburger.  The rest, as the proverbial “they” say, is history.

Though the “inventor” of the cheeseburger is much in dispute, there is absolutely no disputing its impact on the American culture.  Wall Street Journal writer Raymond Sokolove called the cheeseburger “America’s contribution to world cuisine.  Does it stand to reason, therefore, that the more cheese you add to a cheeseburger, the better and more delicious the end-product will be?  The Squeeze Inn in the Sacramento, California area seems to think so.

For many people in the Sacramento area, the Squeeze Inn offers the cheeseburger in paradise.  That’s been validated in their having voted it the “best burger” winner from 2007 through 2010.  The original Squeeze Inn, a Lilliputian burger joint has also been voted “best dive” in Sacramento five years running.  It’s called the Squeeze Inn because of the original restaurant’s size; you literally got squeezed in to get your food.  The original was so small –only twelve bars tools–that customers would line up literally around the block to get in its doors then wait for hours to eat.  It would have to be a cheeseburger in paradise to inspire such loyalty.

French fries

In 2009, Sacramento area resident and Food Network luminary Guy Fieri introduced The Squeeze Inn to the rest of the world on his Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives program.  The effusive Fieri also included the burger on the second book he wrote about his “Triple D” program.  In an episode of the Jay Leno Show, the host asked Fieri who serves the best hamburger in America.  Without hesitation, Fieri mentioned the Squeeze Inn in Sacramento.

What makes the Squeeze Inn’s “squeeze with cheese burger” unique and famous is the way it’s prepared.  It starts with a third-pound of 100-percent beef topped with mayo, mustard, tomato lettuce, pickles, cheese and onions served on a sesame seed bun, pretty traditional stuff.  A crispy “cheese skirt” is created after the beef patty is cooked on a flat top grill.  The skirt is created when an entire third-pound of cheese and the top bun are placed atop the patty.  The cook then throws a handful of ice chips on the flat top and covers the burger with a “hood” to create a steamy effect.  The result is a rectangular, crispy cheese skirt which extends about an inch beyond the burger on all sides.

That’s one-third pound of beef and one-third pound of cheese plus high-quality, fresh ingredients.  What’s not to like?  As Fieri might say, “it’s a California thing.”  While I found the burger interesting and unique, it wasn’t necessarily memorable by virtue of its flavor profile alone.  Though I cherish cheese, the fried cheese skirt itself can be a bit off-putting–both texturally and in terms of flavor.  Sure, it’s crispy and maybe by itself would be a nice snack, but it makes the burger difficult to eat (the cheese becomes a bit “rubbery”) and actually detracts from the flavor of the beef.  This is one marriage of beef and cheese I didn’t like much, but there are thousands of Sacramento area residents who say otherwise.

Nick Sardo, Bruce “Sr. Plata” Silver and Jesse Housholder enjoy the Squeeze Inn’s cheesy burger

The Squeeze Inn prepares everything to order and to your exacting specifications.  In addition to their famous “squeeze with cheese,” the restaurant serves other menu items including tacos, hot dogs, sandwiches and more.  Even a vegetarian burger is available for non-carnivores.

The Squeeze Inn is certainly not everybody’s version of a cheeseburger in paradise, but from an experiential point of view, it’s one of those legendary restaurants you’ve got to try just to say you’ve  been there and done that.  You may even like it more than I did….and who knows, had the squeeze with cheese had some New Mexico green chile, it might have been closer to being a cheeseburger in paradise for me, too.

The Squeeze Inn
106 North Sunrise Avenue
Roseville, California
(916) 783-2874
LATEST VISIT: 14 June 2010
# OF VISITS: 1
RATING: 17
COST: $$
BEST BET: French Fries, Squeeze with Cheese

Chuck’s Restaurant – Placerville, California

Chuck's Restaurant in Placerville, California

In 2009, James Beard Award-winning food journalists Jane and Michael Stern published a terrific tome entitled 500 Things to Eat Before It’s Too Late. Despite the ominous (some might say fatalistic) name, the book is actually a celebration of the best dishes that are unique to this country. The Sterns, who have been focusing on quirky All-American food haunts since 1977, describe in delicious detail, the best dishes proffered at roadside stands, cafes, street carts throughout the fruited plain.  It’s a marvelous tribute to those dishes that are uniquely American.

As encompassing as the book is, it could not possibly have included every single culinary rarity and singularly distinctive dish.  Leave it to my friend Barbara Trembath to lead me to a uniquely American dish that the Sterns did not mention.  When she found out about my business trip to the Sacramento area, Barbara encouraged me to stray from the well-beaten, well-eaten paths to the local favorites and to drive nearly one-hundred miles east to experience culinary history.  She urged me to try what she described as potentially the “dodo bird of food,” a “rare American original that’s in danger of becoming extinct.“  She had me at “hello.”

The quintessential American diner

The dish Barbara recommended I try has a name as quirky as its composition.  It’s called the “Hangtown Fry” and it has nothing to do with French fries and other than bacon has no other fried ingredients. In fact, it’s really an omelet engorged with nothing but bacon and oysters, a weird barnyard meets seafood combination that goes surprisingly well together.   I drove directly from the Sacramento airport to Placerville in time to beat the dinner rush for…an omelet. Barbara reminded me that “yeah, it’s breakfast food, but like any omelet is great any time of day.”

History records that during the California Gold Rush, the boomtown of Placerville was given the sobriquet “Hangtown” in recognition of its frontier justice inspired “necktie parties.”  A grimy prospector who had struck it rich in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada came in to town, staggered into the first restaurant he found and ordered the most expensive thing on the menu.  At that day and age, eggs cost a dollar each, bacon had to be shipped from the East Coast and oysters were a rare delicacy.  The three were combined into a California specialty that has survived more than a century and a half.  Nowadays, the Tadich Grill in San Francisco is more renown for the Hangtown Fry than any restaurant in Placerville, but it was in Hangtown that this dish originated so one might figure that no one does it better than the original.

The Hangtown Fry with fried potatoes and sourdough toast

The restaurant Barbara recommended is called Chuck’s Restaurant, a rather ordinary name for an eatery specializing in an American culinary rarity.  In every way possible, it has the appearance and charm of a 1950s or 1960s diner, replete with leatherette booths, counter stools, faux wood paneling and a menu with a staggering number of entrees, including as many or more Chinese entrees than American entrees.  The Hangtown Fry does not occupy a special place in the menu, nothing that calls attention to this famous dish.  In fact, I had to ask my waitress where it was on the menu.

The Hangtown Fry is an exceptional omelet with almost as many oysters and as much cut bacon on top of the folded eggs as there were inside.  Both the bacon and the oysters are somewhat salty, a perfect foil for the eggs. Frankly, the only thing which could possibly have improved this dish would have been the use of fresh oysters instead of canned smoked oysters.  The Hangtown Fry is accompanied by fried potatoes and sourdough toast, both good but hardly necessary considering the main entree was the dodo bird of food.

Chuck’s Restaurant
1318 Broadway
Placerville, California
(530) 622-2858
LATEST VISIT: 13 June 2010
# OF VISITS: 1
RATING: 20
COST: $$
BEST BET: Hangtown Fry

Chuck's Restaurant on Urbanspoon