Dave's not here.
You
really can't blame him. After all, a Santa Fe district court judge
issued (and later rescinded) a temporary restraining order alleging Dave
(Letterman) had been tormenting a city resident for more than ten years by using
coded words and signals to woo her on his television
program.
A better theory than
mine is posited by David "Whochacha"
Pederson, who points out that the line "Dave's not year" is used
repeatedly in a hilarious Cheech and Chong
routine you've got to listen to.
Wrong Daves? Maybe
or maybe not. No one really seems to know for sure whom this
quaint restaurant is named for. Theories abound, most speculating
that the uniquely named neighborhood diner is whimsically named for an
erstwhile proprietor who left town in a hurry.
Deadbeat
dad? Ran afoul of the law? Someone must know, but not even
the staff is saying.
What diners are
saying is that Dave's serves one of the very best green chile
cheeseburgers in the Land of Enchantment, second in the City Different
perhaps only to the Bobcat
Bite burger (recognized by GQ magazine as one of the
20 best burgers in America).
Dave's serves, in my humble opinion, one of
the five best green chile cheeseburgers in the entire universe (not that
I've tried them all).
Dave's famous burger
comes in two sizes--a regular 4.5-ounce burger and a large 9-ounce
burger, either of which you can have prepared to your exacting
specifications. The burger comes garnished with lettuce, tomato,
onion and lettuce then it's up to you to get creative.
Each table
includes the standard condiments of mustard and ketchup, but also
feature a gourmet mustard and several picante sauces.
Optional toppings (75
cents each) include a piquant green chile (served on the side),
jalapenos, grilled onions (lightly
grilled so that the thick onions taste like really good onion rings sans
coating) or mushrooms, fresh
guacamole and an alabaster colored white cheese. 
The beef comes
from Kaunes Market, a highly regarded local retailer. The beef is
shaped into a ball then held in a plastic bucket until an order is
placed. It is then shaped into a not quite round, not quite square
patty that extends beyond the Frisbee-sized buns on which it is
served. It takes a catcher's mitt or two hands to hold the
nine-ounce burger which is as juicy and flavorful as any burger in
northern New Mexico.
Appetizers include one
relleno with chile, nachos, fresh guacamole and chips and salsa and
chips, but what you really want with your burger is a pile of Dave's
French fries. These hand-cut beauties are somewhat darker than
your usual pasty-white fries and are lightly salted--perfect with or
without ketchup.
An array of delectable
desserts is available, too. These include carrot cake, apple pie,
empanadas and a chocolate cake you'd walk across the desert for. A
slab of chocolate cake would easily serve two, but it's so good, you
might not want to share it. Despite a quarter-inch thick frosting,
the chocolate cake is not annoyingly cloying like one of those
store-bought, tooth-decaying monstrosities.
The menu also includes
several New Mexican favorites--green chile stew, burritos, chimichangas,
huevos rancheros and more, but most people seem to order the green chile
cheeseburger.
Dave's Not Here is
delightfully, quintessentially Santa Fe, embodying the "City
Different" attitude. The ambience is Hog Farm hippies meet
the Santa Fe Art society. Two walls are dedicated to an exhibit of
pensive photographs from Cuba and while the menu doesn't include any
Cuban entrees, salsa with a vibrant beat resounds from the restaurant's
speakers.
A center support column includes a placard
sponsored by the "Santa Fe Society For
the Prevention of Visual Cruelty to Humans" denouncing
Santa Fe's stereotypical "pink coyote" art.
Dave's isn't
necessarily easy to get to if you don't know Santa Fe well. It's
off-the-beaten-path in a residential neighborhood, but once you're on
the right street headed in the right direction, you can't miss it.
The exterior walls are tagger graffiti meets art deco.
