Category: New Mexico

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Gold Street Pizza – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

Get Smart, a comedy television series which aired from 1965 to 1970 showcased the exploits of Don Adams as Maxwell Smart, a secret agent for CONTROL, a secret government counter-espionage organization. CONTROL’s nemesis was KAOS an international organization of evil bent on world domination.  The head of the Asian arm of KAOS was a man called “The Claw,” who had a large mechanical claw in place of a left hand.  The claw was magnetic, allowing him to pull phones, guns, and other metal objects toward him. Stereotypically, he couldn’t pronounce the letter L , which made Maxwell Smart think his name was “The Craw” and not the “The Claw.”  Every time Max makes this mistake, The Claw corrects him saying,…

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Monte Carlo Steakhouse – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

“Last night I broke the seal on a Jim Beam decanter That looks like Elvis.” ~George Jones Having spent much of his career in an inebriated state, Country music icon George Jones actually lived the life experiences that inspired much of his music. After one of his four divorces, Jones sat alone in a rather empty home, his ex-wife having absconded with almost everything–furniture, china, glassware and more. Among the few items left behind were a small table, a Jim Beam whiskey decanter bearing the likeness of Elvis Presley, and a Fred Flintstone jar of jelly beans. After dumping the jelly beans, the “Possum” used the jar as a glass into which he poured the entire contents of the Jim…

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El Bruno’s Restaurante Y Cantina – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

At about 75 miles each way, Cuba, New Mexico is almost equidistant between Albuquerque and Farmington. Regardless of starting point, the drive to and from Cuba is one of the Land of Enchantment’s most spectacular. A preponderance of scenic vistas and an otherworldly, multi-hued topography make the drive a sightseer’s delight. The stratification of multi-hued earthen layers, will remind you of colorful Navajo sand paintings while hulking hoodoos (columns or pillars of bizarre shape caused by differential erosion on rocks of different hardness) will inspire awe, none more so than the nipple shaped Cabezon Peak, a dramatic 7,785 foot volcanic formation that commands the skies. I must admit that most of my enjoyment of those incomparable vistas has been on…

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Tasty Noodles & Dumplings – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

The first time I noticed that the dishes served to people of Asian descent weren’t covered in neon bright sauce, I wondered why those strange looking dishes weren’t on the menu.  Or maybe I just didn’t see them.   I asked my server (who was barely conversant in English) and was essentially told I wouldn’t like “authentic” Chinese food.  “What the heck am I eating?” I  asked myself.  That was the beginning of my explorations into the ancient and traditional culinary culture of China.  I delved into just what dishes are considered “authentic” and just what “authentic” means. Dogmatists and purists insist that dishes that weren’t “invented” in China are spurious, not legitimate.  They use such terms as “Americanized” and…

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Tio’s Kitchen – Bernalillo, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

I may not have much respect for the national media or for politicians, but I sure do respect the elderly (unless they’re members of the media or politicians).  My parents engendered among their six children, respect for our elders.  None of us would ever consider addressing an elder by their first name.  We would never use the pronoun “tu” (you) when speaking with someone older than us.  We always use “usted,” also a Spanish term for “you,” but used in a formal manner for people we respect and always for our elders.  We were raised with the type of respect for seniors that is practiced in India, Thailand, Somalia, Indonesia and other nations who venerate their elderly.   Being raised…

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Big Mike’s Burgers & More – Belen, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

In 2014, Epicurious compiled a list of  crimes against burgers:  Hockey-puck patties, pressing down with a spatula, over-flipping, unmelted cheese and hard-as-a-rock buns.   For decades most burger aficionados followed these commandments as if their souls depended on them.  We cringed and bristled when burger flippers smashed down burger patties on a grill.  “There goes all the juices” we bemoaned.  “Here comes another dry as a New Mexico dust devil burger” we lamented.  Of all the felonious assaults against our beloved burger, pressing down the spatula was the most grievous, a crime that should be punishable by years of hard labor. Then in the 1970s a Kentucky restaurateur “invented” something we know today as a “smash burger.”  To hasten the preparation…

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Hannah & Nate’s – Albuquerque & Corrales, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

There are just some restaurants at which the stereotypical Ralph Cramden hungry man shouldn’t dine. Hannah & Nate’s might be one of them. It’s not that the food isn’t good. That’s certainly not the case. The troglodytic nature of men is such that we whine and complain when we have to wait more than two minutes for our meals and we become doubly obnoxious when the portions aren’t large enough to feed a small bull elephant. Thankfully, my Kim has been a great civilizing influence on me and I’m able to enjoy restaurants such as Hannah & Nate’s as much as she does. 17 May 2019: Hannah & Nate’s is a home decor and market cafe ideally suited for gentrified…

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K Style Kitchen – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

If you’re susceptible to the power of suggestion–especially as it pertains to ear worms (recurring tunes that involuntarily pop up and stick in your mind)–you’re probably going to hate me (or you can skip this paragraph and continue to love me).  That’s because if you do read this paragraph you’re going to be humming to yourself one of the most annoying songs of all time–Gangnam Style.  Arguably, Gangnam Style is not as annoying as La Macarena or My Humps (which Rolling Stone declared “the most annoying song ever”). The more you try to suppress Gangnam Style, the more your impetus to hum it increases, a mental process known as ironic process theory.  By the way, those most at risk for…

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Knead Dough Bar & Eatery – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

“I don’t talk about politics, religion or sports, because all three will divide people. That’s why I talk about food, because food brings people together. That’s right! Unless you’re vegan!” ~Gabriel Iglesias Not even glass half full optimists can disagree that America has accelerated into a warp speed devolution from George H. W. Bush’s vision of a “kinder, gentler nation.”    Replace kinder and gentler with snarky and sniping and you’ve got a more accurate picture.  Not only are there widening schisms between political ideologies, there are deep fissures between values of all types (as comedian Gabriel Iglesias astutely pointed out).  It’s not enough to disagree any more.  In modern America, we don’t tolerate differences of opinion.   We take…

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Red Rock Deli – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

America may be a multicultural melting pot, but thriving within its most populous metropolises are ethnic neighborhoods–pockets of diversity residing in two worlds, retaining many of the cultural and culinary traditions of their motherland while integrating into and pursuing the American dream. Cities such as Chicago have long realized that these ethnic enclaves offer a treasure trove of cultural and culinary experiences. Most of these neighborhoods welcome culinary tourism–the opportunity to showcase the cuisine of their homelands. One such example is the city of Chicago which boasts of the largest Polish population outside of Warsaw (as many as 183,000 by some estimates) in the world. Storefronts and restaurants in “Little Poland” on Chicago’s far Northwest side are bedecked in the…

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MARY & TITO’S CAFE – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

Old-timers whose opinions I respect consistently rate Mary & Tito’s as Albuquerque’s best restaurant for New Mexican food, a restaurant that has been pleasing the most savvy and indoctrinated palates alike since 1963. It takes a lot to impress some of those old-timers, none of whom see much substance in the flash and panache of the nouveau restaurants and their pristine veneer and effusive, over-the-top flamboyance. These guys and gals are impressed only by New Mexican food the way their abuelitas prepared it–unadorned, authentic and absolutely wonderful. If you want to evoke their ire, take them to one of the chains. Worse, try sneaking some cumin into their chile. Just how good is Mary & Tito’s? In a span of…