Category: Closed in 2019

AlbuquerqueClosed in 2019Dog FriendlyGone But Not ForgottenMexicanNew Mexico

Krazy Lizard – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

I count in almost equal measure, friends, family members and colleagues who label themselves as either militant liberals or staunch conservatives. Despite what they may think, they have more in common than they’d ever admit. Passionate ideologues, they all regurgitate political dialogue in talking point format. They’re uncompromising in towing their respective party line. They would never see merit in counterpoints from “the other side,” ergo, they never compromise. They’re all are passionate, almost to a fault. You could say they’ve all been been fully assimilated and they’re not going to change. It sure makes it difficult to share a meal with people when their disparate principles, ethics and beliefs make them incompatible with those of opposite perspectives. Despite the…

AlbuquerqueBrewery-PubClosed in 2019Dog FriendlyGone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico

Tap That – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

In my review of the Corrales Bistro Brewery, you were introduced to “Le Cochon,” a self-professed God’s gift to women, lady killer, playboy, seducer, Lothario and otherwise philanderer nonpareil. To my knowledge, Le Cochon is still plying his cheesy pick-up lines on women and getting his face slapped a plenty in the Boston area. He would undoubtedly giggle like the school girls of his dreams at the Albuquerque taproom named “Tap That” which dispenses libations by the ounce. In its original context, the term “tap that” simply meant putting a spigot on a keg of beer or ale so that its contents can be drawn out. As with so many seemingly innocuous terms, chauvinists like Le Cochon have made “tap…

BarbecueClosed in 2019Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicoRated 23Rio Rancho

Stack House BBQ – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

One of my Psychology professors cautioned students about the danger of “amateur diagnosis,” the practice of assigning specific psychoses and neuroses to people we meet solely on the basis of our cursory familiarity with the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. He explained that it often takes an experienced practicing psychiatrist several sessions to arrive at a diagnosis and many more sessions before treatment proves effective. His point–a little knowledge can be dangerous–applies in virtually every arena of knowledge in practicum. Reflecting back on all the times my rudimentary conclusions were ultimately proven incorrect, it’s a point well driven. When my friends Larry “the professor with the perspicacious palate” McGoldrick, Dazzling Deanell and Beauteous Barb decided to pursue Kansas…

AlbuquerqueBarbecueClosed in 2019Dog FriendlyNew Mexico

TFK Smokehouse & Art Barn – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

Every summer, a predictable ritual takes place. After hibernating comfortably since the previous autumn, men attired in aprons emblazoned with the slogan “kiss the cook” will selflessly volunteer to “cook” a meal. This, of course, means barbecue, a decidedly masculine affectation and the only type of cooking most men can be entrusted to do. When this ritual is completed and guests are sated, lavish praise and thanks are heaped upon the “chef.” In truth, the only aspects of this ritual for which men are typically responsible is getting the grill lit, placing the meats on the grill and turning them (after our female better halves warn us that the meats are burning). Normally all the preparatory work—buying the food; preparing…

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MALAGUEÑA’S LATIN TAPAS – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

Not long after Superbowl XL’s halftime show began, a veil of theatrical smoke enveloped the stage, dissipating slowly to reveal the legendary featured performers, the immortal Rolling Stones. First the camera panned to a gyrating Mick Jagger who got the frenzied crowd rollicking with Start Me Up. When the camera focused on Keith Richards, my sister-in-law asked when the Cryptkeeper (from the 1990s horror anthology television series Tales From The Crypt) joined the Stones. We spent the halftime show making fun of the then-63-year-old rocker who looked much older thanks to a life of debauchery. When the last commercial began before the game resumed, I reminded our guests that despite looking like a decrepit old duffer, Keith Richards was considered…

AlbuquerqueClosed in 2019Gone But Not ForgottenLatin AmericanMexicanNew MexicoRated 24

Maya – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

My precocious niece doesn’t miss a beat. Ever attentive to adult conversation, she often stumps my brother and me with her surprisingly deep and thought-provoking questions. Case in point, when she overheard me telling my brother Mario about the Mesoamerican-inspired cuisine at Maya, she asked what I have against Americans. Perplexed by her assertion, I gently asked what she was talking about. “First you said Americans are ugly (obviously remembering a discussion Mario and I once had about the “ugly American syndrome”) and now you’re calling them messy, too.” From the mouth of babes… Her comment got me thinking about the last time we saw a great chef who wasn’t a bit on the “messy” side. No, not like the…

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Zullo’s Bistro – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

“When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat that doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me, And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.” ~Jenny Joseph “Only you,” my Kim chided me “would approach an Italian bistro and associate it with a poem considered an ode to nonconformity.” It couldn’t be helped. My mind just works that way. Besides, purple is prominent on the exterior facade approaching Zullo’s Bistro on Old Route 66. “Why so much purple?” I wondered—”especially amidst the adobe-hued homogeneity that is Albuquerque.” My Catholic upbringing taught me that purple is used during Advent and Lent as a sign…

AlbuquerqueClosed in 2019Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicanNew MexicoRated 23

Pana’s Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

The term “red or green” has connotations beyond New Mexico’s sacrosanct chile. For restaurateurs across the Duke City, red or green can spell the difference between a good or bad reputation and even success or failure. All food service establishments across the city must display the results of the most recent restaurant inspection conducted by the Albuquerque Environmental Health Department. Those results are displayed on a “current grade” sticker in a visible inspection, typically the front door. Savvy diners look for a green sticker which signifies that a food establishment received a passing grade at their most recent inspection. It means the restaurant staff has demonstrated skills and knowledge that create a safe and sanitary food service environment. A red…

AlbuquerqueAmericanClosed in 2019Gone But Not ForgottenHot DogsNew MexicoRated 23

Chumlys Southwestern – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

The old Jewish proverb “worries go down better with soup than without” may just be the most understated aphorism about soup ever uttered. When soup is discussed, it’s usually with a sense of warm nostalgia, perhaps even reverence. We ascribe such adjectives as comforting, restorative, soothing, nourishing, hearty, warming and fulfilling to that nostalgic elixir in a bowl. The number of adjectives would probably quadruple if we attempted to describe soup’s qualities of deliciousness in addition to its satisfying properties. There’s no doubt that a luxurious bowl of steaming soup has life-affirming attributes. Is it any wonder one of the most popular paperback series of all-time is named for soup–the Chicken Soup For the Soul series, an inspirational and uplifting…

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Bosque Brewing Company – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

NOTE: The Bosque Brewing Company has six locations including two in Las Cruces and one in Bernalillo.  Only the location in San Mateo reviewed here has closed. In 1978, the number of breweries across the fruited plain had fallen to an all-time, post-Prohibition low of 89. That year President Jimmy Carter signed into law, a bill that legalized home brewing on a national level. Since the craft brewing market began to pick up steam in the mid- to late-1980s there has been no surcease in sight. Today, there are more than 2,500 breweries operating across the United States with another 1,500 breweries in the planning stage. According to the Brewers Association, as of 2013 the craft beer industry experienced double-digit…

AlbuquerqueClosed in 2019Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicoSpanishTapas

The Cellar – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

While touring Granada, Spain during a 2013 episode of CNN’s Parts Unknown, Emmy award-winning celebrity host Anthony Bourdain bemoaned that “we will never have tapas culture in America.” Then, to emphasize his contention even further (and perhaps to rankle the ire of American foodies who frequent “tapas” restaurants across the fruited plain), he challenged viewers: “You may think you know what a tapa is, like if you’ve had small bites at some fusion hipster bar where they do a whole bunch of little plates. Yeah, that ain’t a tapa.” Bourdain, a best-selling author, world traveler, renowned chef and “poet of the common man” doesn’t just vociferate controversial statements because it’s good television. Agree with him or not, he knows what…