La Barbecue – Austin, Texas

Every summer, a predictable ritual takes place. After hibernating comfortably since the previous autumn, men attired in aprons emblazoned with the slogan “kiss the cook” will selflessly volunteer to “cook” a meal. This, of course, means grilling, a decidedly masculine affectation and the only type of cooking most men can be entrusted to do. When this ritual is completed and guests are sated, lavish praise and thanks are heaped upon the “chef.” In truth, the only aspects of this ritual for which men are typically responsible is getting the grill lit, placing the meats on the grill and turning them (after our female better halves warn us that the meats are burning). Normally all the preparatory work—buying the food; preparing the salad, vegetables and desserts; preparing the meat for cooking; organizing plates and cutlery; preparing the plates—is done by our wives and girlfriends. Ditto for the post-dining rituals—clearing the table, doing the dishes and putting everything away. Insouciant clods that men are, we can’t figure out why our ladies are upset when we asked how they enjoyed their “night off.” Men love to play with fire.  Those who get really good at it–and have a lot of patience–may eventually graduate…

Terry Black’s BBQ – Lockhart, Texas

My Kim won’t be jealous that I was in the company of two winsome women during my inaugural visit to Terry Black’s BBQ.  She might, however, be unhappy if I were to come home perfumed by post oak, a sure sign I had been enjoying Texas barbecue without her.  Post oak is the wood many of the Lone Star State’s best barbecue restaurants smoke to give their meats inimitable flavors and aromas.  Okay, she might also be jealous that I polished off a monsterous beef rib, the type of which tipped over Fred Flintstone’s granite automobile.  It would have been more than enough for her and The Dude to share with me, but hey, how often do you get to visit Lockhart, Texas, the legislature decreed “Capital of Texas Barbecue.” My trip to the San Antonio area was meant to be a solitary adventure, an opportunity for me to visit some of my old haunts.  I would have been perfectly happy to spend time alone.   Then Melinda Martinez came into my life.  We met while standing in a long queue in front of Burnt Bean, a  2024 finalist for the James Beard Foundation’s “Best Chef – Texas” honor.  We shared…