FAT OLIVES – Flagstaff, Arizona

Several years and a couple of tons ago, my friend “Macho” Mike Moretti and I were the type of trenchermen that all-you-can-eat Chinese restaurants feared so much they established strict time limits.  When a German restaurant on San Mateo offered a free dessert to any diner who could finish a gargantuan combination plate, we easily surmounted the challenge and asked for seconds.  Perhaps our most impressive culinary conquest transpired when Pizza Inn offered a “order one pizza, get the next size free” deal.  We ordered an extra large pizza and a large pizza then polished them off.  That was the last time I ever finished at least an entire pizza (about ten acres of pie) by myself.  That is, the…

Relish Gourmet Sandwiches – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Steve Jobs, Eddie Murphy, Jessie Jackson, entire NBA rosters.  Often missing from scandal sheets outing male celebrities who have fathered love children is the name of one Dagwood Bumstead.  From all outward appearances, Bumstead is an average white collar employee and loving family man with a penchant for taking naps, luxuriating in a bubble bath and constructing and consuming tall, multi-layered, poly-ingredient sandwiches of gravity defying height topped with an olive on a toothpick.  Appearances can be deceiving.  You’re reading it here first.  Dagwood Bumstead’s illegitimate son is (brace yourself) Norville “Shaggy” Rogers, a lanky would-be hipster who always seems to have the munchies.  Shaggy is a nimble contortionist with a penchant for hiding (cowering) in impossibly small…