Upscale Rio – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

NOTE:  Upscale Rio shuttered its doors for good on 4 December 2025. My friend Schuyler used to joke that every meal we enjoyed together was “upscale” because “up” was the direction his scale climbed when we finished our marathon meals.  We were quite the trenchermen in our youth, bona fide threats to any all-you-can-eat buffet in town.  Back then–as impoverished junior noncommissioned officers in the Air Force–ten dollar meals were near the upper end of we could afford with an occasional fifteen dollar splurge.  Back then, some thirty years ago, you could get quite a bit of food for ten dollars.  Fast forward a few decades and the term “upscale” has a different meaning for both of us.  We have both been able to reap the harvest of our hard work and are able to (on occasion) afford upscale restaurants that features fine-dining. Back when a dollar would buy four burgers at Griff’s, we couldn’t have conceived of any burger being considered “upscale.”  Not even the most sage of soothsayers could possibly have had the prescience to predict the price of burgers exceeding ten dollars.  Today, it’s not uncommon to find burgers flirting with the twenty dollar mark (maybe that’s…

Tortilla Kitchen – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

A sure sign Spring has arrived In rural New Mexico is the annual ritual of cleaning the acequias, the community operated ditches used to irrigate fields, gardens and lawns. Early in the morning, property owners or their designated paid representatives would convene at appointed spots to begin the effort. Work crews typically consisted of grizzled veterans, most of whom acted as “mayordomos” (bosses) and young bucks like me with strong backs. Not surprisingly, distribution of work was…shall we say, quite inequitable. The old-timers would order us around, shouting out instructions like elderly drill sergeants. Most of us youngsters didn’t mind. During frequent breaks we got to hear some of the most ribald and raunchy stories from highly respected elders. One I’ve never forgotten is when a thrice-married viejito was asked by a colleague “Do all women look alike?” “I’ll tell you honestly,” he responded “not even their tortillas look alike.” While the question was designed to elicit a response about a certain female, er…anatomical part, my take-away had everything to do with tortillas. My mom was (and still is) the very best tortillera in the Penasco valley. Her tortillas were on the thin side with beautiful pinto pony char spots.…