Category: Closed in 2022

AlbuquerqueBurgersClosed in 2022Gone But Not Forgotten

B2B Bistronomy – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:02 PM

Marshall: Just a Burger? Just a burger. Robin, it’s so much more than “just a burger.” I mean…that first bite—oh, what heaven that first bite is. The bun, like a sesame freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below, flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then…a pickle! The most playful little pickle! Then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce and a…a patty of ground beef so exquisite, swirling in your mouth, breaking apart, and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savor so delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread, Robin. This is God, speaking to us in food. Lily: And you got our wedding vows off the Internet!? ~How I Met Your Mother: “The Best Burger in New York” As that episode illustrated, men are inspired to rhapsodize romantically about truly outstanding burgers. We’re similarly compelled to masterful oratory when discussing our favorite National Football League team. Our passion for fine, fast cars elicits a facile fluency with words. We can discuss our 60-inch flat screen television with the eloquence of a bard. It makes our wives and girlfriends wonder how we can…

AlbuquerqueClosed in 2022Gone But Not ForgottenNational ChainPizza

Fox’s Pizza Den – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:53 AM

There may have been no more amusing (or, tragically, accurate) depiction of the “meat market” that was the dating scene in the 1970s than a recurring Saturday Night Live skit about two wild and crazy guys named George and Yortuk Festrunk. The Czech brothers, portrayed brilliantly by Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd, dressed in tight pants and loud, unbuttoned polyester shirts with medallions singing over their chests. They lived for “swinging” in their bachelor pad.  The hedonistic Festrunk brothers especially loved to cruise the fox bar in pursuit of swinging foxes who might just have the hots-on for them and who might let them hold on to their big American breasts. In their minds, there was no other pair of Czech brothers who cruised and swung as successfully in their tight slacks which gave them great bulges. It’s hard to believe that in the 70s, “foxes” was a term not used exclusively to describe a carnivorous animal. It was also used as a not always endearing and almost always sexist term for very attractive women. Though I don’t keep up with contemporary vernacular, I believe the modern day equivalent is “hottie.” Alas, at my age, “cruising for foxes” now has…

AlbuquerqueBarbecueClosed in 2022Gone But Not Forgotten

Quarters – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:23 AM

Some of my friends accuse me of making my Web site a bully pulpit against chain restaurants and being a shameless “homer” when it comes to promoting locally owned and operated restaurants. I make no secret of my overwhelming preference for local restaurants, but never at the expense of a personal integrity which won’t allow me to pander to local restaurants which, in my honest opinion, don’t quite measure up. One such restaurant is the venerated Quarters–at least in terms of its barbecue. One of Duke City’s oldest and most revered barbecue joints, the Quarters is generally teeming with loyal patrons who will tell you that Quarters puts the ‘cue in Albuquerque. Now with three locations, including a sprawling edifice launched in 2004 on Albuquerque’s burgeoning West side, the Quarters shows no surcease in popularity. The Nellos family which owns and operates Quarters is practically royalty in Albuquerque, not only because of their popular restaurants, but because of their civic involvement and community-mindedness. The rib dinner, eight to ten pork spare ribs served with two sides, exemplifies what I don’t like about Quarters.  The ribs are dry despite being slathered with the tangy sauce.  That’s entirely two bad considering the…

Closed in 2022Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicanNew MexicoRating: ExcellentSanta Fe

Roque’s Carnitas – Santa Fe, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno11:04 PM

In more cosmopolitan metropolises it isn’t uncommon to see sidewalk vendors plying their trade over chuck wagon stands and proffering high quality fast food such as hot dogs, tacos, gyros and sundry quick meal items. Some of the best food in cities such as Portland, Oregon can be found near city parks where enterprising street vendors concoct culinary magic on portable kitchens and what we typically deride as “roach coaches.” Roque Garcia has made such a business an art form–a very successful one. In fact, Roque claims carnitas paid for his home outside Puerto Vallarta in Mexico and for the Mercedes Benz automobiles he likes to drive. Roque’s cart is stationed on the southeast corner of the Santa Fe plaza where the irresistibly smoky aroma of sizzling, marinated beef draws repeat customers and tourists like a siren’s call. Despite posting a sign explaining what carnitas are, Roque is unfailingly patient with tourists who don’t necessarily know what it is they’re ordering; they only know they can’t resist the intoxicating aromas wafting from the strange cart. During the past decade or so, national publications including the New York Times, Gourmet Magazine, National Geographic, Roadfood and others have waxed poetic about Roque’s…

ArizonaClosed in 2022FusionGone But Not ForgottenUnited States

Chino Bandido – Chandler, Arizona (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno6:51 PM

Gustavo Arellano has the right idea. The brilliant and hilarious author of Ask A Mexican, a widely syndicated alternative newspaper column, confronts the “bogeymen of racism, xenophobia, and ignorance” with humor. In his weekly column, he defeats stereotypes and those who wield them by using deprecatory wit to exaggerate those stereotypes to the point of the ridiculous. In the Language chapter of his uproarious book, he provides a list of commonly used Mexican terms and phrases so that “you, too, can become a Mexican.” The book defines a “Chino” as “literally “Chinese,” but the catchall phrase Mexicans use for all Asians regardless of nationality.” This is clarified with the example: “Vietnamese food is my favorite Chino cuisine.” I found it deliciously ironic when my friend and fellow gastronome Bill Hanson told me about a Phoenix restaurant named Chino Bandido which supposedly takes “fusion” cuisine to a new level.  Fusion cuisine is the inventive combination of diverse, sometimes disparate culinary traditions, elements and ingredients to form an entirely new genre. In large metropolitan areas, particularly in California, the fusion of different cuisines is commonplace. Restaurants featuring the melding of French and Chinese cuisine are especially popular. The joining of Mexican and…

BreakfastClosed in 2022Gone But Not ForgottenMexicanNew MexicoSanta Fe

Felipe’s Tacos – Santa Fe, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno8:23 PM

The rich folklore of the Hispanic culture of New Mexico and southern Colorado is preserved largely through cuentos (stories, legends and myths) passed down from one generation to the next. Among my favorites is a short story of how God named His people. According to this cuento, God passed out so many names–Ortega, Lopez, Gonzalez, Sanchez–that He ran out of last names and said, “the rest of you will be called Martinez.”  This cuento is meant to illustrate why there are so many people with the last name of Martinez in New Mexico and southern Colorado. Told in English, God would have given everyone else the last name of Smith or Jones. Common though the name Martinez may be, it is also a very proud name brought to distinction by its bearers–proud holders such as Rico Martinez, the brilliant founder of the now defunct The Rant Pack, Albuquerque’s most hilarious blog, and Felipe Martinez, the proprietor and creative genius behind his eponymous restaurant in St Michael’s Village.  The recipes were actually passed down from Felipe’s mother, a native of Zacatecas, Mexico, but it is Felipe who has been sharing them with Santa Fe for more than a decade. For that,…

Closed in 2022Gone But Not ForgottenNevadaThaiUnited States

Satay Thai Bistro & Bar – Las Vegas, Nevada (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno4:21 AM

While Albuquerque has come a long way toward becoming a cultural melting pot, a dramatic dearth still exists when it comes to a pot of another sort–the pot in which enculturated diners might find simmering some of the world’s most flavorful cuisine: Ethiopian, Basque, Russian, Hawaiian and Malaysian, for example.  Fortunately, more cosmopolitan dining destinations such as Las Vegas are only a short flight away. Las Vegas diners have embraced the Satay Malaysian Grille, the first Chinatown area restaurant to feature the fragrant spices, pungent curries and distinctive flavor combinations that have long made Malaysian cuisine a favorite of savvy diners.  Talk about a melting pot.  The population of Malaysia is comprised heavily of ethnic Chinese and Indians so it stands to reason that their cuisines would play a major culinary influence in the development of their cuisine.  Proximity to Thailand, the Philippines and Vietnam certainly wielded some influence as well. The Satay Grille is named for the popular grilled skewers with which aficionados of Thai cuisine are familiar.  Regarded as “street food” throughout the Far East, satay has become a popular American favorite, perhaps because of its similarity to the skewers prepared on many a barbecue grill.  A satay…