Dion’s Pizza – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Toga! Toga! Toga! Ever since the misfit Delta Tau Chi fraternity threw the most debaucherous toga party ever in the 1978 “teensploitation” comedy Animal House, the toga party has been ingrained in the college party culture. The genesis of the toga party goes back much, much further than Animal House. Toga parties, in fact, precede collegiate life in the fruited plain by many hundred years. The first toga party was actually organized in ancient Greece in honor of the Greek god Dionysus, the deity of the grape harvest, wine-making and wine, of ritual madness, fertility, theater and religious ecstasy (that’s quite a job description, even for a god). Dionysus literally had a cult following of men and women who worshiped him. Together this vagabond group became some of history’s first true party animals, holding orgiastic celebrations where they danced to frenzied music and behaved like crazed San Diego State basketball fans. It was during this revelry that Dionysus invented both the toga party and the first drinking games. You might not know it but the Dion’s Pizza franchise that has become ubiquitous in the Duke City area, is actually named for that rapscallion god Dionysus (albeit a shortened version of…

Guido’s Chicago Meat & Deli – Scottsdale, Arizona

For years now, my Kim and I have largely eschewed American television, especially its sophomoric, lowbrow and “meant for voyeurs” reality shows.  We’ve been increasingly gravitating to an almost exclusive viewership of British television which we’ve found to be meant for grown-ups rather than children.  British television programs offer a sophistication direly absent in American programming.  British programs tend to be more substantive, refined and of much higher quality than their American counterparts.  That assessment applies to mysteries, comedies, dramas and even commercials. The final nail in the coffin for American television were two absolutely unwatchable reality shows:  The Kardashians and Jersey Shore.  Both showcase obnoxious, self-aggrandizing and vacuous characters with no redeeming characteristics.  The Jersey Show, for example, made celebrities of four loud, foul-mouthed, hypersexual Italian Americans who self-style as “guidos” and “guidettes.”  Never mind that “guido” (slang for a working-class urban Italian-American) is widely perceived by Italian-Americans as a pejorative word, like “spic” or “wop.” It’s a very unflattering stereotype. Lest you think we lowered ourselves to watch such detritus, we caught a promotion for the series which bragged about gathering the “hottest, tannest, craziest guidos” and assembling them at a beach resort where all would be laid…

Little Deli & Pizzeria – Austin, Texas

In the 1973 Woody Allen movie”Sleeper,” the neurotic comedian, writer, actor, and film director declaimed, “I believe there’s an intelligence to the universe, with the exception of certain parts of New Jersey.”  Comedian George Carlin pounced on New Jersey’s license plate, deriding the “Garden State” sobriquet, expressing that it should be “The Tollbooth State.”   In response to his son-in-law Michael “Meathead” Stivic’s “I hate Jersey” comment, Archie Bunker declared “Everybody hates Jersey! But somebody’s gotta live there.” New Jersey is the Rodney Dangerfield among the fifty states.  It gets no respect, especially when compared with its nextdoor neighbor New York.  Perceptions among some outsiders is that the population of New Jersey is replete with Italian-American Mafia types like Tony Soprano.  Others perceive as accurate the unwatchable MTV “reality” television series Jersey Shore which perpetuates Italian-American stereotypes of New Jerseyans.  Its gratuitous use of the ethnic slurs “guido” and “guidette” are an affront to every good and decent resident of the state. Admittedly I haven’t spent much time in New Jersey.  My first visit was just long enough to qualify on the M16 rifle before the Air Force sent me to RAF Upper Heyford, England.  Would you consider it boasting if…