The Big Texan Steak Ranch – Amarillo, Texas

If you’ve ever wondered about the meaning of the line “I’ll be lookin’ for eight when they pull that gate” in George Strait’s classic hit Amarillo By Morning, here’s a theory you probably haven’t heard.  The country crooner was actually looking for eight brawny guys to help him finish the 72-ounce steak at Amarillo’s The Big Texan Steak Ranch.  Seriously it might just take a few of your most hungry friends to tackle that behemoth slab of beef–four and a half pounds of well-marbled meat with a deep, rich flavor and mahogany color. Since its launch in 1960, The Big Texan has thrown down the gauntlet to all comers with Texas-sized appetites: finish the 72-ounce Steak Dinner Challenge–shrimp cocktail, baked…

ELEMI – El Paso, Texas

My friend Steve Coleman, owner of the well-written and impeccably researched Steve’s Food Blog has become quite a culinary anthropologist.  Not only does he provide his readers with comprehensive reviews of restaurants throughout the fruited plain, he explores the genesis of the foods he writes about.  One of his passions is to define what constitutes El Paso style Mexican cuisine–its provenance and the cultural role that cuisine has played over the generations.  As he’s discovered, El Paso style Mexican style is still evolving and redefining itself.  Some of that has occurred organically as other cultures have influenced dynamic changes.  Evolution has also been forged by the rediscovery of ancient ingredients and cooking techniques, some of which may once have been…

Taconeta – El Paso, Texas

The meme below purports to show where the highest quality of tacos in Texas can be found.    Study the map and you’ll get the impression the meme’s creator believes tacos are “nonexistent” throughout about half of the Lone Star State.  That includes the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex as well as all of West Texas.   Most of what the meme’s creator believes are the Lone Star State’s “best tacos” can be found only in San Antonio and the South Texas Plains as well as in portions of the Texas Hill Country.  A “best tacos” designation is also accorded to the El Paso area. There is, of course, no official sanctioning of this (or any other) Texas Taco Map.  It’s just someone’s…

Loro Asian Smokehouse & Bar – Austin, Texas

An average person spends 52 days of their life standing in line (queueing) and that not just at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). The most notorious offenders are, of course, supermarket lines, public transportation, the post office, airports and barbecue joints in the great state of Texas.  Okay, that last one may not be true though it certainly feels that way.  Franklin BBQ in Austin has nothing short of a cult following–and probably the longest lines of any barbecue joint in Texas.  Standing in line is part of the Franklin BBQ experience.  Online sites advise that “wait times during the week at Franklin Barbecue are typically 2-3 hours and on weekends closer to 4 or 5 hours.”  Smoked meat…

Little Deli & Pizzeria – Austin, Texas

In the 1973 Woody Allen movie”Sleeper,” the neurotic comedian, writer, actor, and film director declaimed, “I believe there’s an intelligence to the universe, with the exception of certain parts of New Jersey.”  Comedian George Carlin pounced on New Jersey’s license plate, deriding the “Garden State” sobriquet, expressing that it should be “The Tollbooth State.”   In response to his son-in-law Michael “Meathead” Stivic’s “I hate Jersey” comment, Archie Bunker declared “Everybody hates Jersey! But somebody’s gotta live there.” New Jersey is the Rodney Dangerfield among the fifty states.  It gets no respect, especially when compared with its nextdoor neighbor New York.  Perceptions among some outsiders is that the population of New Jersey is replete with Italian-American Mafia types like Tony Soprano. …

La Barbecue – Austin, Texas

Every summer, a predictable ritual takes place. After hibernating comfortably since the previous autumn, men attired in aprons emblazoned with the slogan “kiss the cook” will selflessly volunteer to “cook” a meal. This, of course, means grilling, a decidedly masculine affectation and the only type of cooking most men can be entrusted to do. When this ritual is completed and guests are sated, lavish praise and thanks are heaped upon the “chef.” In truth, the only aspects of this ritual for which men are typically responsible is getting the grill lit, placing the meats on the grill and turning them (after our female better halves warn us that the meats are burning). Normally all the preparatory work—buying the food; preparing…

JewBoy Burgers – Austin, Texas

With hordes of eager eaters forming lines around select restaurants–if not the block–you’d think those diners were gum-snapping Swifties clamoring to enter the venue of a Taylor Swift concert  That’s the case not only in barbecue joints anointed with Michelin star and James Beard Foundation honors, not to mention restaurants featured on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.  Queues for ‘cue, lines for lasagna, cavalcades for calamari…that’s pretty much the way it is at all the time in Austin.  It is a foodie city after my own heart.  I loathe lines so much, I’d rather arrive half an hour early than to stand in a line for more than ten minutes. Alas, on a day in which drizzle spritzed city streets, I…

Nixta Taqueria – Austin, Texas

Man cannot live on barbecue alone–not even in Austin, Texas where the world’s very best barbecue is to be found.  To limit one’s self to barbecue–as transformative as it may be–is to deprive yourself of some of the best Mexican food and best fried chicken in the known world.  Though the primary purpose of my week-long visit to the City of the Violet Crown was to visit Michelin starred barbecue restaurants, to have done so have been “going deep,”  exploring just one segment of the Central Texas culinary Utopia.  “Going wide” meant exploring options beyond barbecue–options such as some of the aforementioned Mexican food joints for which Austin is renowned. At the very top of my list was Nixta Taqueria…

LeRoy And Lewis Barbecue – Austin, Texas

What can you say about a wife who practically pushes her husband out the door so he can gallavant through the Lone Star State in pursuit of barbecue?  That’s precisely what my Kim did.  She didn’t do so out of malice or because she’s tired of me.  Far from it.  We’ve been together for four decades.  There’s no one whose company I enjoy more and it’s mutual.  Throughout my Air Force career, we were stationed far away from family and had only ourselves to rely on.  We’ve grown together both figuratively and literally (mostly me).  While I would love for my Kim to be by my side every moment of every day, she knows I sometimes need to explore culinary…

InterStellar BBQ – Austin, Texas

With more than 2,500 purveyors of bodacious barbecue in the Lone Star State, Texas Monthly Magazine has increased the likelihood of smoked meat aficionados locating and enjoying the very best.  That’s largely because of Daniel Vaughn, the magazine’s “Barbecue Editor.”  Vaughn has traveled the world sampling smoked meats at over 1,800 barbecue joints, most of which are in Texas.  Texans making pilgrimages in pursuit of barbecue carry with them Vaughn’s tome The Prophets of Smoked Meat: A Journey Through Texas Barbecue.  They also take along Texas Monthly’s “The 50 Best Texas Barbecue Joints.” Vaughn’s Texas Monthly compilation, last published in 2021, will be updated in 2025.  These are the barbecue bibles to which believers are called. There’s only two jobs I’ve…

Gristmill River Restaurant & Bar – New Braunfels, Texas

My mom was born in 1929, the last year of the Great Depression.  She still recalls that during her childhood, her family would take grist ( grain) and separate it from its chaff (seed coverings and other debris) in preparation for being ground into flour.  They would then take the family’s horse and buggy over the precipitous mountain roads to Cleveland (the one in New Mexico).  In Cleveland, they would have the grain ground into flour in “el molino,” the Cleveland Roller Mill.   The Mill is a three story adobe edifice with a water-powered mill used for grinding.  Today, that mill has been turned into a local museum where its original machinery remains intact and has been restored significantly to…