Ahh! Sushi – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED: 2015)

The year was 1997. Recently thawed from a thirty year cryogenic state, Dr. Evil addressed the United Nations about his diabolical scheme to hold the world ransom: “ In a little while you’ll notice that the Kreplachistani warhead has gone missing. If you want it back, you’re going to have to pay me…one million dollars.” After the United Nations officials erupted in laughter, Dr. Evil quickly corrected himself “sorry…one hundred billion dollars.” When our mere pittance of a bill arrived after my friends Paul, Bill, Fred and I had polished off a boatload of all-you-can-eat sushi at Ahh! Sushi, the 1997 movie Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, quickly came to mind. Considering all we had eaten, we half expected…

Hartford Square – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the discovery of a star.” ~ Anthelme Brillat-Savarin Dante Alighieri’s 14th century poem Divine Comedy postulated the existence of nine circles of Hell, each circle appropriate to the sins of the damned. The fourth circle, for example, is reserved for hoarders and wasters whose punishment is to spend eternal life rolling giant boulders at one another. While gastronomy is a virtue and not a sin, were there to have been a circle in Hell for gastronomes, there’s no doubt it would have been to spend eternity eating in chain restaurants where we would be subjected to the tedium and monotony of forevermore eating homogeneous foods. It would certainly…

Brickyard Pizza – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“The Brickyard” is the commonly used nickname for the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, home of the Indy 500. A Duke City pizzeria with the sobriquet Brickyard Pizza launched near the University of New Mexico in August, 2004, but has absolutely nothing to do with the famous race. It isn’t even affiliated with Albuquerque’s famous racing family, the Unsers, several of whom have won motor racing’s crown jewel. Brickyard Pizza occupies the Brick Light District area edifice which previously housed Rebar, an eclectic Asian inspired restaurant which just wasn’t an economic or conceptual fit for the collegiate demographic. Cash-strapped students who subsist on a diet of the four food groups–frozen food, fast food, canned food and when they can get it, free…