Every year, a jolly, bearded (some might also say fat) gentleman leaves the comforts of his home to celebrate an event that comes only once a year. Throughout the year he’s visited good little mom-and-pop restaurants across the Land of Enchantment and rewarded them with kind reviews wrapped in polysyllabic words and alliterative phrases. On this special day, my Kim’s birthday, the bearded gentleman isn’t quite as jolly for as faithful readers know, once a year I agree to take my cookie-baking bride to the Olive Garden. It’s a deal we have, albeit one that makes me feel like Faust in the Christopher Marlowe play. Faust, for the non-English majors among you was a scholar who sells his soul to the devil in exchange for unlimited knowledge and worldly pleasures. In my case, the deal is a visit to Olive Garden once a year in exchange for all the strange and exotic restaurants I want to visit the rest of the year. I sure got the rotten end of that deal.
On 28 October 2017, my Kim decided to collect my soul, er….have me make good on my promise and take her to the Olive Garden (which she doesn’t like nearly as much as she likes the annoyance it brings me at the mere thought of visiting a chain restaurant). In the traditional deal with the devil motif of literature and cinema, when Satan comes to collect the witless pawn’s immortal soul, the pawn begs, bribes, cajoles and barters to no avail. Unlike the pawn, however, I had one barter up my sleeve. “Rather than the Olive Garden, wouldn’t you rather go to a better chain restaurant, one which purports to serve lobster rolls, ostensibly like the ones with which you fell in love in Maine?,” I pleaded. “If you’re talking about Slapfish, I’m game,” she replied. Phew, a reprieve for at least another year.
As with an increasing number of brick-and-mortar restaurants, Slapfish got its start as a mobile food kitchen (that’s food truck for you, Bob). In 2012, the founding owners hit the brakes on their mobile operation and launched their first sit-down restaurant in Huntington Beach, California. A scant five years later, Slapfish has restaurant locations across California, Utah, Idaho, Texas, Arizona, Colorado and even South Korea and London with plans to open fifty locations in six states (as of 2016). If past performance is a predictor of future success, the sky’s the limit for Slapfish, a fast-casual seafood shack offering a seasonally-driven menu showcasing responsibly sourced, fresh and healthy seafood. Slapfish, by the way, is an onomatopoeia (words that imitate a sound) for the sound fresh fish make while slapping around the dock.
New Mexico’s sole Slapfish location, a 2,000-square-foot space with two dog friendly patios, is located at the Holly Center (also home to newcomer Blaze Pizza, Tamashi Sushi, Tropical Smoothie and Jersey Mike’s) in Albuquerque’s Northeast Heights. Slapfish celebrated its grand opening on October 7th and boasts of “fresh as coastal seafood” and a “sea-to-table concept.” A second Duke City location is in the planning stage. Though now ensconced in a brick-and-mortar edifice, there’s one hold-over element from Slapfish’s days as a food truck. You have to place your order at a counter, above which a fairly minimalist menu displays featured fare along with specials of the day.
“Must Have” (Slapfish’s term, not necessarily mine) selections headline the menu. These are the appetizers, some of which are rather intriguing. Among the more interesting offerings are the chowder fries (natural-cut fries smothered in creamy clam chowder and bacon) and lobster taquitos drizzled with “awesome sauce.” A “daily fish” is on the menu every day and it served in a salad, as a sandwich or as a bowl (with two sides). Main (and in some cases Maine) entrees are displayed on the “Signatures” menu. The lobster roll isn’t shown online, but it was available on the day of our inaugural visit, albeit at “market price.” Sides include housemade pickles (pickled or fried), some of the best we’ve had in Albuquerque. Fountain drinks are of the Maine Root handcrafted beverages brand.
28 October 2017: In retrospect (and hindsight is always 20/20) we should have had the chowder fries. Instead, we ordered just one component of those chowder fries—the clam chowder—and did so only after verifying that it’s New England style clam chowder, not Manhattan style. There’s a huge difference. An overfilled cup of steaming hot chowder was replete with a generous amount of bacon bits, bite-sized red potatoes and well, not many (if any) clams (perhaps we should have asked Forrest Fenn to organize a treasure hunt to find them). As a bacon chowder, this cup was satisfying, but we didn’t order a bacon chowder. We ordered a clam chowder. Also conspicuous by their absence are the traditional New England style oyster crackers which typically accompany clam chowder throughout New England.
28 October 2017: Much more satisfying were the lobster taquitos drizzled in awesome sauce. Though the term “awesome sauce” has a fingernails on a chalkboard effect on some people, to others it’s become a catchphrase synonymous with “excellent” or “extremely good.” It could be argued that these taquitos (two per order) are more akin to a chimichanga because the tortilla is fried or even closer to an egg roll than a taquito, but what can’t be disputed is that they’re pretty darned good. For under seven dollars, we didn’t expect an engorgement of lobster and our expectations were met. What little lobster there was had a fresh and delicious. The awesome sauce (an orange smoked chile sauce) is a nice touch. It doesn’t have the type of heat a New Mexico chile-based sauce would have, but it’s got a pleasant personality.
28 October 2017: Birthday or not, my Kim always orders first. Indicative of how little I understand women, I thought she’d surely order a lobster roll. After all, she couldn’t get enough of them during our last visit to Maine. Instead, however, she ordered a shrimp ramen burrito. Yep, you read that correctly. A shrimp ramen burrito. She redeemed herself a little by asking for lobster instead of shrimp, a twelve-dollar upcharge. So what exactly is a lobster ramen burrito? Picture a flour tortilla engorged with ramen noodles, spinach and sizeable chunks of lobster meat from the tail and claws. She used her fork to extricate the lobster which she dipped into warm butter and she slurped up the noodles, but basically left the tortilla shell alone. After more than two decades in New Mexico, she still won’t eat “store-bought” tortillas and finds the term “hand-held” not applicable when it comes to burritos.
28 October 2017: Because my Kim didn’t order the lobster roll, it freed me up to be able to do so. At first glance, it did bear a resemblance to the boatsful of lobster rolls I consumed in my years in Massachusetts. Lobster meat from the tail and claws piled atop a split top roll. Alas, there wasn’t much lobster inside the fluffy roll which was grilled and toasted to a lightly crispy exterior. A light, sweet dressing (thankfully not gobs of mayo) and celery salt dress the lobster meat. The lobster, while delicate and sweet, had a slightly stringy texture–discernible to us because we’ve devoured so much lobster. Perhaps, Slapfish is still trying to figure out the nuances of high-altitude cooking.
16 December 2019: It had to happen. In recent years, burgers have come to mean more than beef on a bun. Creative minds (or maybe sadists) have popularized such variations on America’s favorite food as donut burgers, portobello burgers, pizza burgers, vegan burgers and even turtle burgers. With the introduction of the lobster crunch burger, Slapfish hopes to make lobster burgers as mainstream as the Whopper. Save for the named ingredient, the lobster crunch burger has little in common with Slapfish’s lobstah roll. The most obvious difference is the lobster patty, a thick, nicely seasoned breaded amalgam of lobster and filler sharing space between buns with lettuce, tomato and a buttermilk-based dressing with personality. True to its name, there’s plenty of crunch in this burger. Thankfully it’s not the lobster that crunches when you bite into it. There’s also quite a bit of lobster in this burger. The sauce enlivens that lobster in a way drawn butter never can without detracting from its sweet delicious flavor.
In an interview with Forbes, founder Andrew Gruel admitted he “wanted to run the Chipotle of seafood.” Despite some small foibles, it’s much better than Chipotle. It’s inventive seafood the likes of which Albuquerque hasn’t seen before.
6400 Holly Avenue, N.E.
Albuquerque, New Mexico
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LATEST VISIT: 16 December 2019
1st VISIT: 28 October 2017
# OF VISITS: 2
BEST BET: Clam Chowder, Lobster Roll, Lobster Taquitos, Lobster Crunch Burger
RESTAURANT REVIEW #1005