El Charlatan – Socorro, Texas (CLOSED)

Everyone should have a friend like Steve Coleman, the erudite owner of Steve’s Food Page. Not only is he a great guy and a lot of fun to spend time with, he’s a superb host and tour guide.  During a two-day sojourn to “El Chuco,” Steve not only showed us the sights, he gave me a much-needed lesson about history New Mexico and Texas share.  He explained that during the Pueblo Revolt of 1680, members of the Isleta Pueblo in New Mexico were displaced to El Paso along with Oñate and the Spaniards.  Today, descendants of those Native Americans reside in a Native American Pueblo in the Ysleta section of El Paso just about three miles from El Charlatan, our dining destination.  We were looking forward to Steve ferreting us through the historic El Paso Mission Trail, a nine-mile route representing a segment of El Camino Real de Tierra Adentro (Royal Road of the Interior), the historic trail that ran from Mexico City to Santa Fe.  Alas, unseasonably fierce winds (another commonality New Mexico and Texas share) obfuscated our view of the churches as we drove past (at least one of) them.  On the Fujita Scale, a measure of wind speed,…

La Santisima – Phoenix, Arizona

Gustavo Arellano, the brilliant writer behind the Ask A Mexican column (and even better book by that title) was remarkably quick with a disarming retort that diffused controversy with humor.  One example is when a reader–perhaps hoping to ingratiate himself to Arellano–wrote Ask A Mexican: “I don’t go to many Mexican restaurants—not because of the stereotypes but because the food is usually watered down to fit the taste buds of gabachos. In a future column, Arellano provided a response appropriate to the point.”Your sad story is one experienced by many Mexicans who travel through the parts of this country that wabs have just begun to colonize, but it’s not unique to us: New Yorkers always bemoan the quality of bagels everywhere outside of Brooklyn, and San Franciscans simply won’t eat burritos not folded in their famed Mission District. I will argue, however, that Mexican cuisine is more whitewashed than others.” Boy could we relate!  During our travels over my Air Force career, we encountered a phalanx of inauthentic “Mexican restaurants” comparable to Taco Bell, an eatery we wouldn’t frequent if you put a gun to our heads.  That was to be expected in such states as Mississippi, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Connecticut  but certainly…

Tap N Taco – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Imagine Marty McPlata, a 17 year old Rio Rancho High School student who gets transported back in time seven years to 2015. With the help of his mad scientist friend Bill Resnikoff, he makes his way back to the future to the year from which he left–2022.  Significant changes and burgeoning growth have transpired in the City of Vision since he left.  Among one of the improvements by subtraction is the absence of one of the city’s three Burger King restaurants, a multi-national chain he drove past only because it was on the way to Corrales. Marty smiled at the thought that Burger King’s incredibly creepy, big-headed mascot may finally driven away all of the “home of the Whopper’s” customers.  That realization hit Burger King CFO Josh Kobza in 2011: “We got rid of the creepy king character that tended to scare away women and children.”  Gone, Marty thought, are the gold and red colors of Burger King’s logo, ironically the same colors used by McDonald’s.  Gone, too, is the empty parking lot.  On some days only the drive-up window seemed to have customers. While the iconic, standardized shape of the familiar Burger King restaurant remains, the building is now…