Category: Rio Rancho

Closed in 2016Gone But Not ForgottenHot DogsIce CreamRio Rancho

Ice Cream Palace and Hot Dog World – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:07 PM

Nay-sayers, those nattering nabobs of negativism, have always had it in for hot dogs. First they plied us with horror stories and urban myths about what hot dogs are made of. Essentially, they decried, hot dogs are made of everything from pigs snouts and chicken feet to snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails. Then they ratcheted up our shock and awe by telling us how hot dogs are loaded with artery-clogging, cancer-causing saturated fats, not to mention those nasty nitrates and nefarious nitrites. They’ve even disparaged hot dogs as processed pink slime in a bun. Despite all the brouhaha and rigmarole, hot dogs continue to thrive across the fruited plain as aficionados of the tantalizing tubular treats snub their noses at those who would abolish an American institution. What’s next—motherhood, apple pie, the Dallas Cowboys? Recent statistics reveal that the U.S. population consumes 20 billion hot dogs per year. That’s some 70 hot dogs per person per year (or about as many as Joey Chestnut ate in one sitting during Nathan’s International Hot Dog Eating Contest). In 2012, CNN compiled a list of America’s top fifty foods and the hot dog ranked fourth. That’s a lot of love for…

Closed in 2020Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicoPizzaRio Rancho

Blue Grasshopper Brew Pub – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:40 PM

If you’ve ever wondered why the term “pink elephants” has long been recognized as a euphemism for a drunken hallucination, credit author Jack London. In his autobiographical tome, he described himself as “the man whom we all know, stupid, unimaginative, whose brain is bitten numbly by numb maggots; who walks generously with wide-spread, tentative legs, falls frequently in the gutter, and who sees, in the extremity of his ecstasy, blue mice and pink elephants.” When we first heard of the Blue Grasshopper Brew Pub in Rio Rancho, we wondered if it, too, was a euphemism for adult beverage overindulgence. Frankly, the reason behind the name is almost as good as Jack London’s euphemism. The sobriquet was bestowed upon co-owner Peter Apers by his mentor as he was teaching Apers to play the blues on guitar. One of that mentor’s favorite television personalities was Caine, the David Carradine character in Kung Fu whom the Shaolin master called “grasshopper.” Hence “Blues Grasshopper.” In 2014, Livability.com named the Duke City as “America’s best mid-sized city in the country for beer.” With nearly thirty brewery and tap room restaurants (as of this writing), Albuquerque metropolitan area cerevisaphiles certainly have their pick as to where…

BurgersClosed in 2014Gone But Not ForgottenRio Rancho

NM Rodeo Burgers – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:20 PM

“Traveling with the rodeo It’s the only life I’ll ever know I started in New Mexico Must have been a thousand years ago.” ~Lyrics to “Ride ‘Em Cowboy” by Paul Davis Although my friends and I were all fairly accomplished horse riders in the svelte and carefree days of our youth, Peñasco didn’t have a high school rodeo team so we couldn’t show off our skills in the arena of competition. Instead we entertained ourselves with such non-sanctioned “rodeo” events as hand-fishing for bottom-feeding suckers and tossing them into a chicken coop where a frenzied take-away melee would ensue with feathers and fish entrails flying. We also enjoyed tossing wet bailing wire into electrical wires overhead. if done right, the bailing wire returned to earth a smoldering ashen heap reminiscent of snake fireworks. Risking life and limb with thousands of volts of electrical current was child’s play compared to riding rambunctious young bulls who would invariably toss us to the ground with impunity. My days of bull riding ended when a recalcitrant bull was spooked by a horse who aimed a kick at my flank, leaving me no recourse but to jump off into a fresh, fetid pile of horse…

BarbecueClosed in 2016Gone But Not ForgottenRio Rancho

Rub-N-Wood BBQ – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno7:01 AM

“Beam me up Scotty. There is no good barbecue on this planet.” ~James T. Kirk Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the United Starship Enterprise never actually uttered those words, but had he visited Rio Rancho between June 22nd and August 2nd, 2013, he would have found NO barbecue–good or bad–in Rio Rancho. No barbecue in the City of Barbecue…er, Vision, is akin to no Subarus in Santa Fe. Rio Rancho, after all, is home to the annual Pork & Brew, the state barbecue championship sanctioned by the prestigious Kansas City Barbecue Society. Rio Rancho has also been the home–for nearly a quarter of a century—of the legendary Smokehouse. When the Smokehouse shuttered its doors on June 22nd, its loyal patrons were torn between wanting to fly the flag at half-mast or flying it upside down as a sign of distress. The Smokehouse’s affable proprietor Gary West urged calm, assuaging those of us whose blood is the color of barbecue sauce with news that we would be without barbecue for only a short while. He told us a competitive barbecue team called Rub-N-Wood would be filling the void soon. Having sampled Rub-N-Wood’s ‘cue, Gary was excited that Rio Rancho would be…

BuffetClosed in 2015Gone But Not ForgottenJapaneseNew MexicoRio RanchoSushi

Ahh! Sushi – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED: 2015)

Gil Garduno6:08 PM

The year was 1997. Recently thawed from a thirty year cryogenic state, Dr. Evil addressed the United Nations about his diabolical scheme to hold the world ransom: “ In a little while you’ll notice that the Kreplachistani warhead has gone missing. If you want it back, you’re going to have to pay me…one million dollars.” After the United Nations officials erupted in laughter, Dr. Evil quickly corrected himself “sorry…one hundred billion dollars.” When our mere pittance of a bill arrived after my friends Paul, Bill, Fred and I had polished off a boatload of all-you-can-eat sushi at Ahh! Sushi, the 1997 movie Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, quickly came to mind. Considering all we had eaten, we half expected an evil sushi chef to come out from behind the curtain and say “sorry…one thousand dollars.” We didn’t add up what the sushi would have cost had we not availed ourselves of the all-you-can-eat offering, but suffice to say, we ate our money’s worth and then some. The only sticker shock visitors to Ahh Sushi in Rio Rancho receive is shock (and maybe a little bit of awe, too) at how inexpensive all you can eat can be. I won’t…

BarbecueBreakfastClosed in 2013Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicoRio Rancho

The Smokehouse Barbecue Restaurant (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:38 AM

The very best restaurants–those we’re proud to call our favorites–aren’t ncessarily the swankiest and most elegant venues.  They’re not even usually the restaurants you visit on special occasions.  They’re our favorites because for the duration of our meal, all our cares dissipate and our faith that everything will be okay is restored as we’re fed comforting, delicious food by servers we know and trust.  The Smokehouse has been such a refuge to hundreds of Rio Rancho area residents for nearly two and a half decades. The Smokehouse’s last full day of operation was Saturday, June 22nd, 2013.  Then on Sunday night, June 23rd at 6PM, owner Gary West invited guests to a farewell soiree where he  exhausted his remaining food inventory: amazing smoked turkey, ribs and so much more.  There wasn’t  a charge for the meal though Gary jokingly had a jar in which guests could contribute to his retirement.  Gary will be leaving the desert climes of New Mexico for Hawaii where he plans to lead a life of leisure.  Aloha, Gary.  You and the Smokehouse will be missed. In his headlines segment on April Fools Day 2001, Tonight Show host Jay Leno had a good laugh at the…

AmericanBrunchClosed in 2013Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicoRio Rancho

Timbuctu Bistro – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno1:12 PM

Growing up in bucolic Peñasco back when fires were still started by rubbing two sticks together and mastodons roamed the Earth, I distinctly remember hearing playmates uttering the term “going all the way to Timbuktu.”  Considering we all thought Albuquerque was a million miles away, we couldn’t imagine just how far away Timbuktu must be.  Some of us reasoned it  existed only as a figment of the imagination similar to Oz, Neverland and Atlantis (Hogwarts, Narnia and Jurassic Park for you Generation Yers).  Even adult teachers whom we asked dismissed it as a distant land in deepest, darkest Africa though it was obvious they weren’t quite sure where it actually was…or if it existed at all. Though seemingly synonymous with “some far away place,” Timbuktu does exist and imaginative children of all ages do visit it on occasion.   Timbuktu is a city of some 50,000 citizens–the most remote city, in fact, in the country of Mali, the crown jewel of West Africa.  It’s located between the southern edge of the mighty Sahara and the great bend of the Niger River.  Not only is it far away, it is difficult to get there, the only reliable route in or out being…

New MexicoRating: Very GoodRio Rancho

The Chill Zone Frozen Yogurt – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil Garduno6:46 PM

Returning to the United States in 1985 after my first year in England, there were two things that surprised me.  The first was the difficulty of getting used to driving on the “Yank” side of the road again.  Driving on the “wrong” side had required a high state of alertness and conscious thought until it had become a habit.  Expecting to transition easily upon my return to the fruited plain, my concentration waned until I found myself driving toward several cars on their side of the street (talk about road rage).  The second surprise was the sheer volume of frozen yogurt shops in Chicago and Las Vegas where I spent three weeks before returning to England.  Frozen yogurt was no stranger to me.  I lived in Massachusetts in 1978 (where some of the country’s very best ice cream is made) when the very first packaged frozen yogurt was introduced.  At its inception yogurt was marketed as a healthier, less caloric alternative to ice cream, but it wasn’t an immediate hit because of its lip-pursing tartness.  Manufacturers went back to the drawing board, modified their recipes to include more sugar and yogurt began to take off.  By 1986, sales of yogurt…

New MexicoRating: GoodRio RanchoVietnamese

Viet Rice – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil Garduno3:41 PM

In Vietnamese, “an com”‘ translates as “eating rice,” but it’s a phrase that more accurately implies the act of partaking of food. At Viet Rice, they know rice and they make the act of partaking of food a memorable one! The motto “We Know Rice” is declared on the menu and it’s part of the restaurant’s logo. It’s even on the restaurant’s entrance. More importantly, it’s obvious in the way Rio Rancho’s very first Vietnamese restaurant operates. True to its name, well crafted rice dishes are a specialty, but there’s so much more than rice at this small gem operating out of a sprawling shopping center. Viet Rice is one of the more visually appealing Vietnamese restaurants in the Duke City area with a decorous style and color scheme (lime green is very prominent) very similar to Viet Q and Viet Taste.  The counter at which you’re greeted and take-out orders are placed and picked up is under a bamboo awning.  Walls are festooned with inspired large, framed black and white photographs depicting life in Vietnam. Viet Rice’s opening day, March 23rd, 2005, is a day that will live on my taste buds and olfactory memories for a long time.…

AmericanBreakfastNew MexicoRating: GoodRio Rancho

Weck’s – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil Garduno3:53 PM

Arguably the very best programming all year long on KNME, Albuquerque’s Public Broadcasting Station (PBS) comes during its four annual fund-raising campaigns.  For sandwich lovers all over New Mexico, no PBS feature is more greatly appreciated than Sandwiches That You Will Like, a documentary by Rick Sebak of television station WQED in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The documentary showcases unique sandwich offerings from throughout America. Voracious viewers like me practically salivate at the scrumptious sandwiches on display and lament the fact that most of them can’t be found within the borders of the Land of Enchantment. Watching the documentary is torture of the most delicious sort, no doubt prompting a rush to the refrigerator for even the least tortured among us.  One of the sandwiches featured, a staple in the Buffalo, New York area, is called a “Beef on Weck.” Weck is a colloquial diminutive of Kummelweck, a salty roll topped with pretzel salt and caraway seeds. The first time I passed by an Albuquerque restaurant named “Wecks,” the sandwich fanatic in me hoped against hope, the menu would showcase the fabulous Beef on Weck sandwich, but it wasn’t meant to be. The name Weck’s is a shortened form of the original…

Closed in 2011Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicoPizzaRio Rancho

Rocco’s Pizzeria – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno6:16 AM

In an age of sensory bombardment, we all occasionally experience a phenomenon known as an “earworm.” Earworm is a literal translation of a German term for a song (particularly an annoying one) stuck in someone’s head. For some it’s the Gilligan’s Island theme song. For others, it might be “It’s a Small World” or the Beatles’ “Yellow Submarine.” In the 1960s, one television commercial was responsible for an earworm that afflicted many of us in the Albuquerque viewing area. It was a commercial for Peppino’s Pizza Joint and the words to its annoyingly catchy jingle were “The p-pizza’s p-perfect at Peppino’s, the p-pizza’s p-perfect at Peppino’s p-pizza joint.” I’ll bet some of the more “seasoned” (geriatrically advanced like me) members of the Duke City Fix’s Born in ‘Burque group reading this post are cursing me because now they can’t get that jingle out of their minds. Peppino’s Pizza Joint and that catchy jingle have been gone now for close to forty years, but the jingle is reborn every time I passed by or thought about Petitto’s Pizzeria in Rio Rancho. Petitto’s, which opened in 2007, was ensconced in a fairly nondescript strip shopping center on Southern Boulevard and was not…