La Lecheria New Mexico Craft Ice Cream – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Joey: What are you talking about? “One woman. That’s like saying there’s only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something, Ross. There’s lots of flavors out there. There’s Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing Cherry Vanilla. You could get ’em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon! Ross: I honestly don’t know if I’m hungry or horny. Chandler: Then stay out of my freezer. In that episode of Friends, Joey Tribbiani obviously considered the concept of one woman “monotony, not monogamy.” While the most uxorious among us might…

San Antonio General Store – San Antonio, New Mexico

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, latte in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “Woo Hoo, what a ride!” – Motto to Live By What struck me most about this motto was not the profundity of its words, but their placement–on a placard hanging directly above a glass pastry case showcasing some of the most delicious fudge in the state. It seems somehow appropriate that the motto hover above gourmet fudge like a radiant halo. This is fudge crafted with imagination and flair. It is luscious and decadent, extremely…

Golden Pride Chicken – Albuquerque, New Mexico

For years Albuquerque’s cruiser culture has made Central Avenue a favorite destination for showing off souped-up cars and causing windows to rattle and eardrums to throb from the pounding bass in audio systems that reverberate as loud as a thunderclap over your head. My friend Carlos who understands urban subcultures more than most tells me cruising Central Avenue isn’t solely about seeing and being seen. It’s about fried chicken, more specifically Golden Pride, Barbecue, Chicken and Ribs (Golden Pride for short). Central Avenue has a Golden Pride location on the Duke City’s far west (a couple blocks east of Coors) and one on the far east side (just west of Eubank). It’s about 12 miles as the crow flies from…

Ice Cream Palace and Hot Dog World – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Nay-sayers, those nattering nabobs of negativism, have always had it in for hot dogs. First they plied us with horror stories and urban myths about what hot dogs are made of. Essentially, they decried, hot dogs are made of everything from pigs snouts and chicken feet to snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails. Then they ratcheted up our shock and awe by telling us how hot dogs are loaded with artery-clogging, cancer-causing saturated fats, not to mention those nasty nitrates and nefarious nitrites. They’ve even disparaged hot dogs as processed pink slime in a bun. Despite all the brouhaha and rigmarole, hot dogs continue to thrive across the fruited plain as aficionados of the tantalizing tubular treats snub their…

Chillz Frozen Custard – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.” Ambrose Bierce, American writer (1842-1914) The Devil’s Dictionary (1906) Ambrose Bierce’s scathing definition of custard is not necessarily an expression of his disdain for the popular frozen dessert, but an example of his lampooning of American culture and especially its lexicon. Starting in 1881, the American satirist began writing The Devil’s Dictionary in which he published alternate and usually quite acerbic definitions of common words. His biting wit and sardonic views earned him the nicknames “cackling king of cynics” and “Bitter Bierce.” There are parts of the Midwest (the Milwaukee and St. Louis areas in particular) in which Bierce’s definition of custard would…

Duke City Donuts – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

If you love donuts (and who doesn’t), you might want to consider being just a bit more generous when you see the ubiquitous Salvation Army bell-ringers and their familiar kettles standing in the chilly winter air to solicit donations.  The Salvation Army didn’t invent the first donut, but you can certainly credit much of their popularity to this philanthropic group. During World War I, the “lassies” in the Salvation Army prepared donuts for thousands of soldiers, an act which along with their compassion endeared the group to the American public.  It also stimulated a taste for donuts which hadn’t existed before the war among the American public. In 1938, the first Friday in June was established as “Salvation Army Donut…

Stroud’s Restaurant & Bar – Fairway, Kansas

Kansas City is often referred to as the “world’s barbecue capital.”  With more than 100 barbecue restaurants, its reputation for outstanding barbecue is known far and wide.  It’s not as commonly known that Kansas City can also strut its stuff about its fried chicken.  In fact, Travel Channel television host Adam Richman has joked that KC actually stands for “killer chicken.” The killer chicken tradition started with Stroud’s Restaurant which not surprisingly, began in 1933 as a barbecue shack in Kansas City.  On Independence Day a few years later, founder Helen Stroud added skillet fried chicken.  It sold out immediately and has been on the menu ever since.  Ironically, barbecue is no longer on the menu. Fittingly both of my…

Garrett Popcorn Shop – Chicago, Illinois

The favorite weather conditions for many Chicago natives correlates directly to their personal climatic ideals for standing in long lines. Chicagoans are a patient lot.  They’re used to standing in long lines, sometimes for as long as two hours…and that’s not to meet come of the city’s glitterati such as Oprah Winfrey or Mike Ditka.  They exercise Job-like patience to buy a bag or six of Garrett popcorn.  They stand in line in frosty air, in oppressive humidity and in turbulent winds.  To paraphrase the US Postal Service creed, “neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays Chicagoans from the decadent devouring of their favorite popcorn.” If you don’t think any popcorn is worth waiting two hours…

El Pollo Picante – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Pollo asado, marinated grilled chicken, has been a staple in Mexico for years, but save for those pockets within metropolitan areas heavily populated by scions of Mexico, it hasn’t made significant inroads throughout the fruited plain. Mexican grilled chicken restaurants seem to fly under the radar, unbeknownst to much of the local populace outside the Mexican neighborhoods in which they’re clustered. Many grilled chicken sahops–even in Albuquerque– operate in ramshackle, lilliputian buildings not much larger than roadside stands. In the 1980s, El Pollo Loco, a Mexican grilled chicken chain expanded into the United States, launching in about a dozen states including New Mexico. Today, the chain operates in five western states (Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Texas and California) as well as…

Chocolate Cartel – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands — and then eat just one of the pieces.” Judith Viorst, American Author & Journalist “Betcha can’t eat just one.”  In the early 1960s, Lay’s Potato Chips made that slogan a household phrase, in the process increasing potato chip sales significantly and opening up new markets internationally.  Today, North Americans consume approximately 1.2 billion pounds of potato chips every year, making it the most consumed snack food in the entire continent.  There is no physiological basis, however, for Lay’s assertion that its salty snack favorite is so addictive it can’t be resisted.  The same can’t be said of chocolate Chocolate most assuredly does have…

GoNuts Donuts – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Their Points of View. ‘Twixt optimist and pessimist The difference is droll; The optimist the doughnut sees – The pessimist the hole. – New York Sun, 1904 It’s almost deliciously ironic that the “Optimist’s Creed” references the oft-maligned donut. In recent years, donuts and their high-carb brethren have been damned and all but banned by the “nutritionally correct” who believe America should supplant these decadent orbs of sugary deliciousness with tofu, celery sticks, carrots and beef juice.  Donuts went through a period in which they were nearly as popular as terrorist extremists at a New York City fire department party.  Even the once sanctified Krispy Kreme saw its stock prices plummet. In such a climate of adversity, it is donut…