Guido’s Chicago Meat & Deli – Scottsdale, Arizona

For years now, my Kim and I have largely eschewed American television, especially its sophomoric, lowbrow and “meant for voyeurs” reality shows.  We’ve been increasingly gravitating to an almost exclusive viewership of British television which we’ve found to be meant for grown-ups rather than children.  British television programs offer a sophistication direly absent in American programming.  British programs tend to be more substantive, refined and of much higher quality than their American counterparts.  That assessment applies to mysteries, comedies, dramas and even commercials. The final nail in the coffin for American television were two absolutely unwatchable reality shows:  The Kardashians…

Cinnamon Sugar and Spice Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Back in the dark ages when I grew up–long before America became the kinder, gentler Utopia it is today (seething with cynicism)–it would have been inconceivable that boys and girls would receive trophies just for “participating.” Back then, we were expected to be competitive about everything. The battle of the genders was waged at home every night with my brothers and I pitting our brawn and bulk against the brains and gumption of our sisters, two of whom would go on to graduate as valedictorians and all of them much smarter than the recalcitrant Garduño boys. It rankled us to…

Hello Deli – Albuquerque, New Mexico

HELLO DELI (to the tune of Hello Dolly) “Hello Deli, this is Joe, Deli would you please send up a nice corned beef on rye. A box of RITZ, Deli and some Schlitz, Deli Some chopped liver and a sliver of your, apple pie. Turkey Legs, Deli hard boiled eggs, Deli and a plate of those potatoes you french fry, oh Don’t be late, Deli I just can’t wait Deli, Deli without breakfast, I’d just die.” ~ Frank Jacobs (Writer for MAD Magazine) In 2016, BBC Travel lamented the imminent demise of the New York City deli.  “Not the corner markets…

Trail Rider – Cedar Crest, New Mexico

During the prehistoric and dark ages when I went to school, we were taught a song called “The Bear Went Over The Mountain.”  When that wandering ursus got to the other side of the mountain, all he could see was the other side of the mountain.  Ostensibly, this song recalls a bear’s fruitless journey to see what lies beyond.  It symbolizes the endless nature of life’s constant undertakings, the continuous, sometimes futile, effort in life to find something beyond the current experience.  Now, that’s the allegorical meaning of the song.  In literal terms, a bear (or anyone of us) going…

Sixty Six Acres – Albuquerque, New Mexico

My high school football coach Jesus Bautista used to call his team “chiquitos pero picosos,” a Spanish term meaning “small but piquant” (like New  Mexico’s chiles). At 6’1” and a svelte 175 pounds in full uniform, I was the biggest guy on the team.  That made me an enforcer of sorts when players on the other teams tried to bully my smaller teammates. For the most part, I was able to handle the biggest, meanest, roughest players we lined up against. The one exception was when we played Albuquerque Indian School. To keep us from touching their quarterback, the Braves…

Gold Street Pizza – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Get Smart, a comedy television series which aired from 1965 to 1970 showcased the exploits of Don Adams as Maxwell Smart, a secret agent for CONTROL, a secret government counter-espionage organization. CONTROL’s nemesis was KAOS an international organization of evil bent on world domination.  The head of the Asian arm of KAOS was a man called “The Claw,” who had a large mechanical claw in place of a left hand.  The claw was magnetic, allowing him to pull phones, guns, and other metal objects toward him. Stereotypically, he couldn’t pronounce the letter L , which made Maxwell Smart think his…

Sal’s Ristorante & Pizzeria – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“Everything you see, I owe to spaghetti.” ~Sophia Loren The ageless movie siren (currently age 90), perhaps the most voluptuous nonogenarian in the world, is hardly a proponent of low carb diets, admitting to daily dosages of macaroni. She maintains her classic hourglass figure by limiting portions–never consuming too many calories in one meal–and by not overloading pasta with rich, thick cream or cheese sauces. Though La Dolce Sophia once told a Sunday morning CBS program that she cannot diet, she actually does adhere to a strict Mediterranean diet which advocates a lot of vegetables, olive oil, pasta and red…

El Patron – Albuquerque, New Mexico

I was a strapping lad of fifteen when hired as a “box boy” at a country store in Peñasco. Now, being a box boy at a small village country store is to being a bagger at Smith’s or Albertson’s in Albuquerque what the red chile at Mary & Tito’s is to McCormick’s chili seasoning mix. The former is so much more than the latter. For one thing, my duties included bailing hay, rounding up cattle, stacking lumber, loading cement, operating a forklift and every once in a while actually bagging or boxing groceries. The job kept me in great physical…

M’tucci’s Italian Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“Sometimes the spaghetti likes to be alone..” —Stanley Tucci as Segundo in Big Night With a name like M’Tucci’s Italian Restaurant, you might wonder if the Italian restaurant on the intersection of Coors and Montano is named for Academy Award nominated actor Stanley Tucci. After all, Tucci co-starred in Big Night and Julie & Julia, arguably two of the very best food movies in recent years. Initially christened M’tucci’s Kitchina, the “Kitchina” part of the restaurant’s name was obviously a whimsical play on “cucina,” the Italian term for kitchen, but was spelled more similarly to Kachina, the Hopi ancestral spirits.…

Vic’s Daily Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?” “What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?” “I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet. Pooh nodded thoughtfully. “It’s the same thing,” he said.” Unlike the great philosopher Winnie the Pooh, many Americans, it seems, don’t equate breakfast with excitement. Studies show that far too many of us fuel our bodies with a “gobble and go” mentality that typifies our frenetic lifestyles. In 2007, one food service industry research firm concluded that most…

Lescombes Winery & Bistro (Cottonwood) – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Years ago when my job at Intel required frequent travel to the Phoenix area, I marveled at the desert landscaping at Phooenix’s Sky Harbor Airport.  Its xeriscaping approach uses  native, drought-resistant flora arranged in ways that promote efficient water usage.  Towering saguaros and spindly, spine-covered ocotillos greeted sojourners as they vacated the airport.  Not only does this xeriscaping save the city $400,000 annually and reduce water usage by more than five-million gallons per year, it gives visitors a welcome respite from the sun-baked asphalt and cement jungle that is the Valley of the Sun. Driving away from Albuquerque’s Sunport provided…