Sparky’s Burgers, Barbecue & Espresso – Hatch, New Mexico

New Mexico’s Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail not only celebrates one of the Land of Enchantment’s most iconic foods, it showcases the restaurants, drive-ins, diners, dives, joints, cafes, roadside stands and bowling alleys which prepare our ubiquitous, incomparable green chile cheeseburger.  To New Mexicans, there is nothing as thoroughly soul-satisfying and utterly delicious! What elevates a burger from the ordinary to the extraordinary is taste bud awakening, tongue tingling, olfactory arousing green chile, New Mexico’s official state vegetable (even though it’s technically a fruit).  In the continually evolving mosaic that describes New Mexico’s cultural intermingling, one constant is green chile, an essential ingredient in many of our recipes and THE centerpiece of any outstanding green chile cheeseburger.  Even such corporate megaliths…

Buckhorn Tavern – San Antonio, New Mexico

Dusk is falling on the western town at the very edge of the parched plains.  Fewer than a dozen buildings line the dusty main street.  Howling winds impel tumbleweeds forward with no regard for obstacles in their path.  Even though neither of the protagonists has uttered the old western cliché “this town ain’t big enough for the two of us,” the scene is always ripe for a confrontation between the two long-time rivals.  You can cut the tension with a knife and fork and it would be utterly delicious. This confrontation isn’t between the black-hearted, black hat wearing villain of western lore and his rival, the clean-cut, white chapeaued cowboy. It’s a rivalry between the Owl Cafe and the Buckhorn…

Slate Street Billiards Bar & Grille – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Discovering a bubbling crude…Texas tea, black gold, oil that is, transformed Jed Clampett from poor mountaineer who barely kept his family fed to a millionaire residing in a Beverly (Hills that is, swimming pools, movie stars) mansion.  Moving from a tiny ramshackle hovel to a luxurious and palatial dwelling brought with it one surprise after another for Jed and his family.  Among them was “a good strong eatin’ table” upon which “you could serve up a whole barbecued steer.”  Jed’s nephew Jethro who graduated at the top of his glass…”by a good foot” found out from a friend that the room in which the fancy eatin’ table was centered was called a “billy-yard room.”  Ergo, the table was a “billy-yard…

Laguna Burger (12th Street) – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“The best stories are like the best burgers: big, juicy, and messy.” ~A.D. Posey, American Author For men of my generation, a Big Mac was a rite of passage, a graduation from Happy Meal cheeseburgers to a real adult burger…an event akin to transitioning from training wheels to a ten speed bike.  We had grown up singing the jingle “two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun” and finally got to experience one for ourselves.   I had assumed all parents would, when their sons had proven worthy, introduce them to the Big Mac.  You can imagine my surprise upon reading a 2016 Wall Street Journal report that only one in five adults between…

Upscale Burgers & Shakes – Albuquerque, New Mexico

My friend Schuyler used to joke that every meal we enjoyed together was “upscale” because “up” was the direction his scale climbed when we finished our marathon meals.  We were quite the trenchermen in our youth, bona fide threats to any all-you-can-eat buffet in town.  Back then–as impoverished junior noncommissioned officers in the Air Force–ten dollar meals were near the upper end of we could afford with an occasional fifteen dollar splurge.  Back then, some thirty years ago, you could get quite a bit of food for ten dollars.  Fast forward a few decades and the term “upscale” has a different meaning for both of us.  We have both been able to reap the harvest of our hard work and…

Red Onion Lounge – Heber, Arizona

On 5 November 1975, a seven-man logging crew working in the Sitgreaves National Forest near Heber, Arizona experienced what has become the most documented UFO (UAP or unidentified aerial phenomena, if you prefer) sighting and abduction in history. As the crew was wrapping up for the day, they saw a bright light off to their right. When they approached, they espied a bright saucer-shaped UFO  (UAP) hovering about 20 feet over a clearing.  Travis Walton was the only one who got out of the truck to investigate.  He was quickly knocked to the ground by a bright, blue-green beam of light.  Five days and six hours later, Walton awoke on the outskirts of Heber. Not surprisingly, the veracity of the…

Burger Bro’s – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Such advanced human traits as complex symbolic expression, art as an aesthetic visual form and elaborate cultural diversity emerged mainly during the past 100,000 years or so.  That’s more than four-million years after humans gained the ability to walk on two legs. By comparison, the ubiquitous All-American burger has evolved in the blink of time.  Most culinary historians believe the burger as we know it today was invented somewhere between 1885 and 1904. Even most of us who have lived three or more decades have seen significant changes in the burger.  Many of those changes have occurred during the 21st century–the last twenty years or so. Think about it.  For the most part, the predominant burger many “seasoned” eaters across the fruited plain…

The Local Brewhouse – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Before reading any further, the biggest take-away from this review is that the Local Brewhouse serves the best burger in Rio Rancho.  That’s not only what the marquee says.  It’s what City of Vision diners know.  My Kim and I, too.   “Service is horrible”  “The management has to train there employees.”  “Worst service ever! I can’t stress on how bad the service was.”  “Nice views. Lousy service and rude staff.”  “Service sucks. Waited 20mins between beers.”   Those are one-star reviews on Yelp for The Local Brewhouse in Rio Rancho.  At the extreme opposite are five star reviews extolling the service some Yelp reviewers found unacceptable: “Shout out to Rhiannon, our server for friendly, prompt, and efficient service.”  “Had…

Vic’s Daily Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?” “What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?” “I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet. Pooh nodded thoughtfully. “It’s the same thing,” he said.” Unlike the great philosopher Winnie the Pooh, many Americans, it seems, don’t equate breakfast with excitement. Studies show that far too many of us fuel our bodies with a “gobble and go” mentality that typifies our frenetic lifestyles. In 2007, one food service industry research firm concluded that most Americans spend no more than three minutes shopping for breakfast (at such paragons of nutritional virtue as McDonald’s and Starbucks).…

A & B Drive In – Truth or Consequences, New Mexico

For five very memorable seasons, Michael Newman, the charismatic and ebullient host of New Mexico True Television and Melinda Frame, the show’s brilliant producer-director had the very best jobs in the world. Though not expressly stated, their true job titles should have been “Ambassadors for the Great State of New Mexico” because that’s what they really were. Every Sunday (8:30AM on KOB-TV Channel 4), they showcased the Land of Enchantment in all its magnificent splendor and incomparable beauty. With the flair of gifted raconteurs, they knew just when narration was necessary and when it was best to let spectacular backdrops tell the story. New Mexico True’s thematic episodes truly fed the soul and capture the imagination.  Note:  You can still…

Holy Burger- Albuquerque, New Mexico

During his 40-year career as a radio and television broadcaster for the York Yankees, Phil Rizzuto made “Holy Cow” his trademark exclamation. Similar to Yogi Berra, another legendary Yankee personality, Rizzuto became beloved for his snafus and humor: “Uh-oh, deep to left-center. Nobody’s gonna get that one! Holy cow! Someone got it.” In 1985 when the Yankees retired his uniform number 10, they paraded a live cow with a halo propped on its head onto Yankee Stadium. During the ceremony the “holy cow” knocked Rizzuto to the ground, an encounter he described thusly: “that big thing stepped right on my shoe and pushed me backwards, like a karate move.” The comedic broadcaster’s “Holy Cow” catchphrase became further cemented in pop…