Alyonka Russian Cuisine – Boise, Idaho

In the 1970s when most people still had a sense of humor and society wasn’t offended by virtually everything, Wendy’s ran a commercial humorously depicting a Soviet fashion show.  This fashion show portrayed a heavyset (calorically challenged if you insist on political correctness) Russian woman modeling day wear, evening wear and swim wear.  In each case, the attire was exactly the same–a drab wool sack with matching hat.  Only her accessories were different: a beach ball for swim wear and a flashlight for evening wear.  A Soviet ambassador appeared on television to condemn the depiction of Russian womanhood.  Before the show, he agreed to watch the commercial and reportedly fell over laughing (as did the KGB agents standing guard).  Just…

Ranchos Plaza Grill – Ranchos De Taos, New Mexico

If you’ve read or studied the history of New Mexico, you’re probably aware that life wasn’t easy for Spanish colonists. As with other efforts to colonize North America, Spanish settlers quickly found themselves insufficiently provisioned for the agrarian lifestyle they sought to establish and maintain. Wholly dependent on water to produce and maintain crops and farmland, they quickly found out rainfall in the desert Southwest was fickle and unpredictable. When winter came, the harsh realities of a poor crop yield set in. Settlers often had to resort to taking the food of their Indian neighbors, often by duplicitous means. Throughout the seventeenth century the Spanish population in New Mexico never exceeded more than 3,000, about one-sixth the number of Pueblo…

JAMBO CAFE – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Growing up in the 60s–the dark ages before the Internet was even a glimmer in Al Gore’s eyes and google–then spelled “googol”– represented an very large number (currently being approached by build back better spending)–even precocious children like me derived most of our knowledge of Africa from National Geographic magazines and Tarzan movies. We thought Africa was one large monolithic country comprised solely of stark, expansive deserts or lush, mysterious jungles. Africa’s indigenous people, we believed, had to compete for food with lions, tigers and hyenas, oh my. Though Africa was called “the Dark Continent,” it was truly our knowledge which was in the dark, obfuscated by stereotypes and misconceptions. The 1966 debut of Star Trek helped eliminate some of…

La Santisima – Phoenix, Arizona

Gustavo Arellano, the brilliant writer behind the Ask A Mexican column (and even better book by that title) was remarkably quick with a disarming retort that diffused controversy with humor.  One example is when a reader–perhaps hoping to ingratiate himself to Arellano–wrote Ask A Mexican: “I don’t go to many Mexican restaurants—not because of the stereotypes but because the food is usually watered down to fit the taste buds of gabachos. In a future column, Arellano provided a response appropriate to the point.”Your sad story is one experienced by many Mexicans who travel through the parts of this country that wabs have just begun to colonize, but it’s not unique to us: New Yorkers always bemoan the quality of bagels…

Proper Burger – Salt Lake City, Utah

Television would have you believe Mars and Venus have different ideas as to what constitutes the proper way to eat a burger.  Representing Venus (women), as depicted in a Wendy’s commercial from the 1980s, is a geriatrically advanced woman who takes a small bite of her juicy burger then daintily wipes off the detritis with a napkin.  Representing Mars (men) is Food Network superstar Guy Fieri.  The platinum-coiffed restaurant impressario’s approach to properly eating a burger is mirrored by most of us Martians.  It’s not for the faint of heart or children and you shouldn’t attempt it without a net. If the burger is what some of us more seasoned folks might call a “Dagwood” (characterized by its skyscraper height…