La Sirenita – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Our friends, John Martin and Lynn Garner and I couldn’t help but laugh. There before our very eyes was the depiction of a meme come to life. In the dining room of la Sirenita was a papier Mâché reproduction of the bottom half of a mermaid. It reminded us of a meme we recently shared.  That meme depicted a grizzled sailor marooned on a desert island.  On the first panel of the meme the sailor smiled lasciviously as a beautiful and buxom mermaid approached the island.  The second panel shows the sailor cooking the bottom half of the mermaid on a rotisserie.  Yeah, it’s gruesome, but come on, it’s funny, too. The bottom half of a mermaid wasn’t the only unique art on La Sirenita’s walls.  One framed painting depicted a rather disfigured Marilyn Monroe.  Another portrayed a black woman in the throes of a foodgasm.  More conspicuous than the artwork was the absence of other diners.  While the bar was packed, the only other diners in the capacious dining room were two eight-year old brothers, one of whom innocently asked if The Dude was a poodle.  Though our debonair dachshund was insulted (rightfully so), he has too much class…

Zacatlán – Santa Fe, New Mexico

As a naive and impressionable child with a vivid imagination, my most frightening weekly ordeal was walking home from Catechism, especially when teachings centered around the devil and his demons. For some reason we weren’t taught about a loving God. Instead it was drilled into us that if we’re not “good” we’d go to Hell.  Strangely such concepts as forgiveness and goodness were described rather abstractly while the devil (undoubtedly a progenitor of today’s elected officials) and sin were made real enough to traumatize us all.  The devil was everywhere waiting to ensnare us into sin and drag us (wailing and gnashing our teeth) into Hell. Walking home at twilight after another fire and brimstone lesson made me long for the safety and security of home.  It made me quite unhappy that Adam and Eve were expelled from Eden for disobeying God.  Eden is described in Genesis as “the garden of God.”  Our Catechism teachers taught us Eden was a peaceful place in which we were all intended to live contented and innocent lives.  Unfortunately, rather than focus on the beauty and serenity of Eden, we were petrified by descriptions of the serpent who tempted Eve to partake of the…

Los Olivos – Albuquerque, New Mexico

For many New Mexicans, Durango, Colorado is much more familiar than Durango, Mexico.  In truth, however, Mexico’s Durango may actually have more historical significance and ties to the Land of Enchantment than its like-named resort town in Colorado.  That’s especially true for the Catholic Churches of New Mexico. Episcopal jurisdiction for the Catholic church in New Mexico was placed in 1797 under the stewardship of the Bishop of Durango. New Mexico remained part of the Diocese of Durango until 1850 when Pope Pius IX created the Vicariate Apostolic of New Mexico and appointed Father Jean Baptiste Lamy as its first Bishop.  Yes, that’s the same Father Jean Baptiste Lamy on whom Wila Cather’s Death Comes For the Archbishop is based. Durango, Mexico was also a significant “paraje” (stopping point) along the The Camino Real de Tierra Adentro (Royal Road of the Interior Land), the 1,590 mile road between Mexico City and San Juan Pueblo (Ohkay Owingeh), New Mexico. During the 17th Century, the area between the villas of Durango and Santa Fe also came to be known as “the Chihuahua Trail.”   It’s a vast understatement to declare that Santa Fe’s reliance on El Camino Real was crucial to the…

Ale’s Cakes – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Hypocrisy thy name is Gil. “For someone who whined so much about a one-hour (each way) commute to work, you’re willing to drive a hundred miles for lunch” my Kim lamented.  Our lunch destination wasn’t nearly a hundred miles away, but when you’re hungry it probably seems that way.  It would have seemed even further had we traversed the entirety of the street in which our intended restaurant is located. In fact, from its starting point to its terminus, that drive would truly have seemed interminable through all its winding and congested permutations. The street of which I speak is Albuquerque’s own Coors Blvd, otherwise known as New Mexico State Road 45.  According to Wikipedia, Coors Blvd is 22,918-miles long…er, make that 22.9-miles long though it does seem painfully longer than that (especially when you’re hungry).  Coors meanders parallel to the Rio Grande from the Southern boundary of Rio Rancho through Albuquerque and onto Isleta Pueblo.  It takes significantly longer to drive this route than it took the Mexican conquistadores to walk the Camino Real. Thank goodness for I-25 and Rio Bravo Blvd which shortened the length of our drive.  As we wended our way south on Coors, my Kim…

Papa Nacho’s – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“No one who cooks, cooks alone. Even at her most solitary, a cook in the kitchen is surrounded by generations of cooks past, the advice and menus of cooks present, the wisdom of cookbook writers.” ~Laurie Colwin, Novelist The notion of cooking alone is unthinkable to Ignacio and Brigette “BeBe” Lopez, founders of Papa Nacho’s. Since they launched their popular Mexican restaurant in 1995, the restaurant has embodied the aphorism “the family that cooks together, stays together.” Papa Nacho’s is and always has been a family affair, with daughters Gloria and Marcial practically having grown up in the kitchen. Today Marcial and her husband Richard Jimenez own the restaurant and Gloria is living in California.  The gracious Gloria once reminded me, “it wouldn’t be a family restaurant if it wasn’t about family.” More than most restaurants in Albuquerque which promote themselves as being “family owned and operated,” Papa Nacho’s lives it. Some of Gloria’s most cherished times were when she and her dad come in at four in the morning to begin the extensive preparatory work it takes to serve their patrons. At Papa Nachos, there are no short-cuts. Vegetables are hand-cut and all sauces are meticulously prepared. Pinto beans…

Taco Bus – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Perhaps no mobile conveyance in the Land of Enchantment has ferried as many interesting people on as many colorful journeys as the “Road Hog,” the psychedelic bus which shuttled its passengers from Haight-Ashbury to Woodstock to Llano Largo, New Mexico. The Road Hog’s 1969 arrival in Llano Largo heralded the start of the “summer of the hippie invasion” as The Taos News called it. There unwashed masses settled into a Utopian agrarian commune they called the Hog Farm. The Road Hog with its familiar duck hood ornament and Grateful Dead-style tie-dyed design became a common sight in Peñasco, my childhood home.   Everyone–from sanctimonious adults to horny teenagers–visited the Hog Farm.  The former feigned shock and outrage at the audacity of the hippies frolicking in their altogether.  The latter gaped in astonishment at the nubile nymphs parading a boldness exceeding the rather benign porn of the time.  By road, our home was several miles away from the Hog Farm.  By hiking over the river, through the woods and up the hills behind our home we could easily walk to the Hog Farm.  My friends and I grabbed many an eyeful and a good education in anatomy and biology every time we…

Antojitos Lupe – Bernalillo, New Mexico

Gustavo Arellano, the brilliant and hilarious author of Ask a Mexican, an erstwhile syndicated satirical weekly newspaper column published mostly in weekly alternative papers, used to be one of my go-to sources of entertainment and information, particularly regarding our common and beloved Spanish lexicon. His inimitable wit and perspective is amusing and enlightening. Take for example his translation of the word “antojitos.” in an article published in his then parent newspaper, the Orange County Weekly, Arellano observed that “the Spanish menu entry antojitos translates as “appetizers,” but the expression connotes more than mere snacks. It derives from the noun antojo, which describes the cravings unique to pregnant women. Antojitos, then, is “little cravings,” and Latinos know that their before-the-main-meal bites should be so appetizing that expectant females snarl at husbands to seek these delights at ungodly hours.” Expectant mothers snarling! Ungodly hours! Obviously antojitos should be good enough to elicit the type of carnal response usually reserved for something more than special…something great. One could surmise that in a sense, antojitos are the Mexican equivalent of dim sum, but where antojitos translates to “little cravings,” dim sum translates to “a bit of heart” or “heart’s delight.” In either case, Mexicans are…