A Bite of Belgium – Las Cruces, New Mexico

Jerry: “Don’t you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything. I’d have to dress different. I’d have to act different. I’d have to grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I’d need a new bedspread and new curtains I’d have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I’d have to get new friends. I’d have to get orgy friends. … Naw, I’m not ready for it.” ~Seinfeld In the sixth season of Seinfeld, Jerry is dating Sandy, a “non-laugher” who seems unamused by his jokes. When Jerry goes to Sandy’s apartment he meets Laura, her roommate, who laughs at his jokes.  Almost as important to the superficial Jerry, she’s very…

Mulas – Corrales, New Mexico

How many times have you heard an elected official referred to as a “jackass?”  In the village of Corrales, that term could conceivably not be used as a pejorative.  Every year during the last weekend of the Corrales Harvest Festival, a pet mayor is named.  If the newly elected mayor is unable to fulfill his or her duties, a pet mayor pro tem is named to assume the duties of the mayoral office.  Corrales has long prided itself on being a paragon of democratic values and inclusivity though the winning candidate is usually a dog or a horse.  In 2022, the winning candidate was a peacock and in 2020, it was  Chip, a five month old miniature donkey. Unlike human…

Slate Street Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

In 2005, Slate Street and an eponymous bistro just north of Lomas became the toast (a garlicky bruschetta) of the town. The Slate Street Cafe opened its doors in July, 2005 in a heretofore lightly trafficked, relatively unknown street north of Lomas. Nestled in the heart of the legal district, the Slate Street Cafe is so, make that Soho cool. Its sleek, modern, high-ceilinged dining room, looming wine bar and capacious patio is frequented by some of Albuquerque’s most hip and beautiful people. It’s a breath of fresh air in a burgeoning downtown district where revitalization doesn’t always appear to be working. The Slate Street Cafe is the braintrust of a proven and very successful pedigree whose bloodline includes founding…

Sunnyside Up Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side Keep on the sunny side of life It will help us ev’ry day, it will brighten all the way If we’ll keep on the sunny side of life.” ~Keep On The Sunny Side Lyrics According to Statistica, a leading provider of market and consumer data, in 2019 the per capita consumption of eggs in the United States was 207.1 eggs.  That’s up from 177.7 eggs per consumer in the year 2000.  In a 2019 survey conducted by YouGov, an international research data and analytics group, respondents indicated their most preferred way to consume eggs for breakfast is scrambled eggs (36%).  Other choices were eggs over easy (18%), sunny side up…

Hannah & Nate’s – Albuquerque & Corrales, New Mexico

There are just some restaurants at which the stereotypical Ralph Cramden hungry man shouldn’t dine. Hannah & Nate’s might be one of them. It’s not that the food isn’t good. That’s certainly not the case. The troglodytic nature of men is such that we whine and complain when we have to wait more than two minutes for our meals and we become doubly obnoxious when the portions aren’t large enough to feed a small bull elephant. Thankfully, my Kim has been a great civilizing influence on me and I’m able to enjoy restaurants such as Hannah & Nate’s as much as she does. 17 May 2019: Hannah & Nate’s is a home decor and market cafe ideally suited for gentrified…

Knead Dough Bar & Eatery – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“I don’t talk about politics, religion or sports, because all three will divide people. That’s why I talk about food, because food brings people together. That’s right! Unless you’re vegan!” ~Gabriel Iglesias Not even glass half full optimists can disagree that America has accelerated into a warp speed devolution from George H. W. Bush’s vision of a “kinder, gentler nation.”    Replace kinder and gentler with snarky and sniping and you’ve got a more accurate picture.  Not only are there widening schisms between political ideologies, there are deep fissures between values of all types (as comedian Gabriel Iglesias astutely pointed out).  It’s not enough to disagree any more.  In modern America, we don’t tolerate differences of opinion.   We take…

Zacatlán – Santa Fe, New Mexico

As a naive and impressionable child with a vivid imagination, my most frightening weekly ordeal was walking home from Catechism, especially when teachings centered around the devil and his demons. For some reason we weren’t taught about a loving God. Instead it was drilled into us that if we’re not “good” we’d go to Hell.  Strangely such concepts as forgiveness and goodness were described rather abstractly while the devil (undoubtedly a progenitor of today’s elected officials) and sin were made real enough to traumatize us all.  The devil was everywhere waiting to ensnare us into sin and drag us (wailing and gnashing our teeth) into Hell. Walking home at twilight after another fire and brimstone lesson made me long for…

Cafe Genevieve – Jackson, Wyoming

My friend and former Intel colleague Steve Caine will forever rue the day he asked me to help him with an expense report for a business trip he made to Portland, Oregon. His itemized expense report indicated he had dined twice at Chevy’s, a middling quality Americanized Mexican restaurant which wouldn’t survive in the tough Albuquerque market. I teased him mercilessly. Worse, when my boss saw what the commotion was all about, he immediately put Steve on double-secret probation. Steve has never lived down visiting a Chevy’s in Portland where he could have had some of the country’s freshest and best seafood. When the din died down, Steve admitted somewhat sheepishly that after two days in Portland, he was missing…

Scalo – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Contrary to popular belief, Scalo was not already a Nob Hill fixture in 1706 when Don Francisco Cuervo y Valdés, governor and captain general of New Mexico, named a new settlement for the Duke of Alburquerque, then viceroy of New Spain.  Scalo didn’t actually open until December, 1986, but during its lengthy tenure it has such a degree of permanence in our memories and taste buds that it’s hard to believe it wasn’t one of the fabled paradors (an establishment where travelers could seek lodging, and usually, food and drink) along the Camino Real.  It would make sense because the word “Scalo” itself translates from Italian to “stopover.”  Then there’s Scalo’s revered spot on the now defunct Albuquerque Monthly.  On…

66 Diner – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Known as “America’s Highway” and celebrated by author John Steinbeck as the “Mother Road,” the legendary Route 66 meandered across 2,448 miles of the fruited plain, crossing three time zones and eight states as it traversed from Chicago to Los Angeles. For many—especially destitute sharecroppers fleeing Oklahoma’s devastating Dust Bowl—Route 66 held the promise of a better life. For others, Route 66 brought a sense of connectedness with parts of America previously considered difficult to reach. For them, Route 66 engendered a frontier spirit of adventure, greatly expanding their vacation options and travel opportunities. For hundreds of communities strewn along the two-lane blacktop, Route 66 was also an engine of economic prosperity, creating tremendous opportunities for entrepreneurs large and small.…

The Farmacy – Albuquerque, New Mexico

In this age of “fake news,” biased media slants and unabashed tell-alls, the one recent headline which has pleased me most comes from Bloomberg. Splashed in bold typeface was the eye-catching lead “Mom-and-Pop Joints Are Trouncing America’s Big Restaurant Chains.” Elaborating on this contention, the first paragraph reads: “Americans are rejecting the consistency of national restaurant chains after decades of dominance in favor of the authenticity of locally owned eateries, with their daily specials and Mom’s watercolors decorating the walls.” The numbers bear this out–“annual revenue for independents will grow about 5 percent through 2020, while the growth for chains will be about 3 percent.” Fittingly, I read this article during my inaugural visit to The Farmacy, a Lilliputian lair…