Holy Burger- Albuquerque, New Mexico

During his 40-year career as a radio and television broadcaster for the York Yankees, Phil Rizzuto made “Holy Cow” his trademark exclamation. Similar to Yogi Berra, another legendary Yankee personality, Rizzuto became beloved for his snafus and humor: “Uh-oh, deep to left-center. Nobody’s gonna get that one! Holy cow! Someone got it.” In 1985 when the Yankees retired his uniform number 10, they paraded a live cow with a halo propped on its head onto Yankee Stadium. During the ceremony the “holy cow” knocked Rizzuto to the ground, an encounter he described thusly: “that big thing stepped right on my shoe and pushed me backwards, like a karate move.” The comedic broadcaster’s “Holy Cow” catchphrase became further cemented in pop…

Fork & Fig – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Listen to Billy Joel’s 1983 doo wop hit Uptown Girl and you’ll probably get the impression that uptown is synonymous with uppity or at least upscale. The lyrics describe a working-class downtown man (ostensibly Joel himself who’s originally from blue-collar Long Island) trying to win the heart of a wealthy, white bred uptown girl (Joel’s future wife Christie Brinkley). The perception of uptown’s haughtiness were reenforced in “The Contest” episode of Seinfeld in which John F. Kennedy, Jr. lived in trendy uptown. When they finally came into money, the Jefferson’s moved on up, too. Until just a few years ago, the Albuquerque neighborhoods around which conversations typically centered were Old Town, downtown, Nob Hill and even EDo (East Downtown). Uptown…

Big Boss Hot Links at Brew Lab 101 – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

The Oxford Dictionary defines an adage as “a proverb or short statement expressing a general truth.”  The adage “the apple does not fall far from the tree,” for example, means a child usually behaves in a similar way to his or her parents.  Sometimes, however, an adage fails to live up to the truism it purports to express.  One such example is the vast chasm that exists between patriarch Martin Crane (John Mahoney) and his sons Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) and Niles (David Hyde Pierce).  Where Martin was portrayed as an everyman with whom many of us can identify, Frasier and Niles were pretentious and condescending snobs.   In one episode the Brothers Crane decide to broaden their father’s horizons by taking…

Proper Burger – Salt Lake City, Utah

Television would have you believe Mars and Venus have different ideas as to what constitutes the proper way to eat a burger.  Representing Venus (women), as depicted in a Wendy’s commercial from the 1980s, is a geriatrically advanced woman who takes a small bite of her juicy burger then daintily wipes off the detritis with a napkin.  Representing Mars (men) is Food Network superstar Guy Fieri.  The platinum-coiffed restaurant impressario’s approach to properly eating a burger is mirrored by most of us Martians.  It’s not for the faint of heart or children and you shouldn’t attempt it without a net. If the burger is what some of us more seasoned folks might call a “Dagwood” (characterized by its skyscraper height…

The Golden Light Cafe & Cantina – Amarillo, Texas

Published in 1938, John Steinbeck’s Grapes of Wrath is widely regarded as one of the greatest American novels ever written. Replete with timeless themes of struggle, destitution, injustice, and the pursuit of a delusive “Promised Land,” the novel centers around the trevails of the Joad family.  Along with thousands of other tenant farmers from Oklahoma who lost their livelihood and property because of the Dust Bowl, the Joads travel the relatively nascent Route 66 toward California and the pursuit of a piece of land to call their own. Every night on their journey, the Joads and their fellow migrants witnessed man’s inclinations toward desperation, violence, and murderous anger as well as generousity and respect.   We couldn’t help but think about…

Bibo Bar & Grille – Bibo, New Mexico

There’s an old Lebanese proverb that says, “some men build a wine cellar after only finding one grape.” That proverb aptly describes the many rags to riches success stories among Lebanese immigrants to the Land of Enchantment, primarily to our state’s northern villages. Some of New Mexico’s most prominent names in business–Maloof, Bellamah, Hanosh, Ghattas, Sahd and others–embody the spirit of that proverb. The progenitors of many of New Mexico’s Lebanese immigrants left Lebanon during the repressive Ottoman Empire, the main exodus occurring in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Escaping persecution and poverty, some arrived with nothing but aspirations, dreams and hopes. The frontier territory of New Mexico was replete with opportunity (and the prospect of freedom) for…

Arrey Cafe – Arrey, New Mexico

About halfway between Truth or Consequences and Hatch on I-25, you may have espied a billboard audaciously proclaiming “world’s finest green chile cheeseburger.”  That billboard has always piqued my curiosity and prompted such questions as “where the heck is Arrey?”  Though signage directs motorists to Exit 59, all there is to see beyond the exit are verdant fields to the right and more high desert expanse to the left.  Then, of course, there’s the obvious question “if it’s so darn good, why isn’t it on the New Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail?” As one of the quadrumvirate–along with the scintillating James Beard award-winning author Cheryl Jamison;  Kate Manchester, founder of Edible Santa Fe; and former New Mexico Tourism Department Advertising…

Bosque North Brewery & Taproom – Bernalillo, New Mexico

“Are you going to explain how to pronounce “bosque?,” my Kim asked when she espied me working on this review.  Though her Spanish vocabulary is rather limited, she pronounces the five or six hundred Spanish words she knows like a native speaker. For that she credits legendary Associated Press sportswriter Pete Herrera with whom she worked for years.  Explaining that correct pronunciation is part of being respectful of other languages, Pete patiently taught her the nuances and fine points of Spanish.   Today it rankles her ire to hear television talking heads on the local news–especially those with Spanish surnames–mispronouncing rudimentary Spanish words such as bosque.  “Why is it not one single television reporter can pronounce bosque?” my Kim often laments. …

Flamez Bistro – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Hold the pickles Hold the lettuce Special orders don’t upset us All we ask is that you let us serve it your way In 1974, Burger King introduced its most successful and long-standing advertising campaign, the heart of which was “Have It Your Way,” a catchy jingle designed to contrast just how flexible Burger King is compared to its largest competitor, the ubiquitous McDonalds. The earworm-inspiring jingle told us we could have burgers made especially for us—tailor-made, customized, prepared any way we want them. It implied that unlike its rigid and inflexible competitor, Burger King recognizes our uniqueness and they celebrate it with burgers that reflect our individuality, lifestyles and dietary considerations. There are, Burger King tells us, 221,184 ways…

Oso Grill – Capitan, New Mexico

When we pulled up to the order window at the Oso Grill’s drive-through lane, Misty, our sweet server handed us a menu and contritely explained that the restaurant had run out of shrimp.  “Why,” I asked “would anyone visit the Oso Grill for shrimp when they can have one of the very best green chile cheeseburgers in the Land of Enchantment.”  With apologies to Smokey Bear, that green chile cheeseburger is the reason many of us drive to Capitan, New Mexico.  Since, however, most New Mexicans consider Smokey one of our state’s upstanding citizens, we can enjoy a fantastic burger at Oso Grill then cross the street to pay our respects to the living symbol of fire protection.  Smokey is…

Triple B’s Bar-B-Que Burgers & Burritos – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Archaeologists in Spain claim to have unearthed the original man cave. What is most remarkable about this finding is how very similar Neanderthal man and contemporary man are. Men, it could be said, have not evolved much. Neanderthals were hairy and brutish in appearance, very much like the New York Giants and Philadelphia Eagles. They spoke in guttural grunts, similar to today’s politicians. Neanderthals scrawled their art on cave walls; contemporary man expresses himself artistically on bridges, underpasses and walls. Neanderthal man used tools: hammers, clubs and axes; contemporary man uses tools: television remote controls, joy sticks and iPhones. Cultural anthropologists (and Barbara Streisand) have long posited that throughout evolutionary history, man has had an inherent need for belonging to…