Hell’s Backbone Grill – Boulder, Utah

“I’m going to hell! The worst place in the world! With devils and those caves and the ragged clothing! And the heat! My God, the HEAT!” ~Elaine Benes (Seinfeld: Season 9, Episode 16) Most of us would describe Hell in similarly terrifying terms (albeit without the humor) as Elaine Benes did during a memorable episode of Seinfeld back in 1998.  The Hell that existed in Elaine’s mind  was indeed “the worst place in the world!”  If Hell can be so nightmarish, can Hells Backbone be any better?  Are there devils wearing ragged clothing and living in caves in Hells Backbone?…

The Dhaba – Tempe, Arizona

I joked with our friend Kris Lincoln about the irony of introducing an Indian to Indian cuisine.  I’m going to pin that paradox on Christopher Columbus.  Legend has it that Columbus used the term “Indian” to refer to the original inhabitants of the American continent.  It’s widely believed (though more romanticized than accurate) that he used the term “Indian” because he was convinced he had landed in “The Indies” (Asia) where he hoped to discover a new source of wealth,  Whether attributable to confusion or an education system that often perpetuates mistaken beliefs, the label “Indian” has stuck. That misnomer…

Joe’s Farm Grill – Gilbert, Arizona

When primitive men, women and asgender people crossed the Bering Straits to escape global freezing, they eventually made their way to the Phoenix area.  Ever since, their progeny has been trying to figure out how to escape global scorching which transpires on most summer days (seven or eight months a year).  They built Biosphere 2, the world’s largest controlled environment.  They built a swimming pool in Chase Field, home of the Arizona Diamondbacks.  When compelled to leave the air conditioned confines of their homes, Phoenicians risk third-degree burns from their car doors and  flee to their summer homes in Prescott…

Alter Ego – Tempe, Arizona

Ever since my wonderful 94-year young mom was no longer able to prepare and host lavish Christmas Day dinners at her home, my Kim and I have been “snowbirding” it with annual trips to the Valley of The Sun.  Every year I try to surprise my Kim with a better than the previous year’s Christmas dinner at some fancy schmantzy restaurant.  Last year it was at the magnificent Zinc Bistro in Scottsdale.  The previous year, we dined at Roy’s Restaurant, also in Scottsdale.  Our inaugural Christmas dinner in the Phoenix area was at the Fat Ox, a  James Beard nominated…

Big Nate’s Family BBQ – Mesa, Arizona

“The Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man” ~Genesis 2:21-22 Ever since God took a rib from Adam and created Eve with it, Adam and Eve’s male desccendents have been craving ribs almost as if wanting to replace the one God took. Whether short ribs, baby back ribs, spare ribs, St. Louis…

The Chuck Box – Tempe, Arizona

“I’ll have the great big one,” the barrel-chested behemoth behind me chortled.  One of his companions, a bookish nerd followed up with “I’ll have the big one.”  Not to be outdone, several male Arizona State University (ASU) students took turns ordering either the “great big one” or the “big one.”  Each order was followed by raucous laughter as if they were the first students ever to place their orders for burgers named for their respective sizes (the burgers, not the students’ manhood).  Not one of them dared ask for “the little one” for fear of being humiliated or even ostracized…

Cocina Chiwas – Tempe, Arizona

Chef Armando Hernandez is my new hero.  In an interview with the Phoenix New Times, he was asked about “authentic Mexican cuisine.”  His retort was scathingly brilliant: “It’s very difficult for me to have these conversations, especially among our own people, about what’s considered authentic.  “They’ll be like, ‘Well, my Grandma-’ and I’m like, yeah, I’m not your Grandma though.”  Those of us who grew up in the Land of Enchantment when our distinctive cuisine was widely labeled “Mexican” remain somewhat in the dark about differences between New Mexican cuisine and that of our Southern neighbor.   It was only…

Sugar Jam – Scottsdale, Arizona

I often describe my youth in rural, agrarian Peñasco as “bumpkinly naïveté.”  I may have been book smart (and insolent) enough to intimidate some of my teachers, but insofar as experiential smarts, I was one pretty sheltered guy.  The very first black people I ever saw up close were Drew and Shane Roebuck, gazelle-quick running backs for Menaul High School.   I wanted to kill them…not because they were black, but because I couldn’t catch them.  You see, I had a reputation as a fierce tackler.  It didn’t matter the race, ethnicity, religious affiliation or favorite breakfast cereal, I wanted…

Grimaldi’s Pizzeria – Scottsdale, Arizona

I don’t often refer to myself as a “restaurant critic” or “restaurant reviewer.” My preferred gloss is “observer and essayer on the culinary condition.”   Yep, that’s a high falutin bit of ego-stroking, but it’s accurate.  One of the things I’ve observed during frequent trips to the Phoenix area–both while employed at Intel and while snowbirding over the Christmas and Festivus holidays–is that middling quality chain restaurants tend to find a home in the Valley of the Sun an year or two before figuring out they would be smash successes in Albuquerque. Another salient obseration is that some pretty highly…

Source – Gilbert, Arizona

When Chef Claudio Urciuoli posed for a photograph with Source’s baker Ryan and chef Trevor, he sported a smile.  I joked with him about his stern countenance and he assured me that he really does have a sense of humor.  Despite the dissolution of his partnership at Pa’La, the acclaimed chef has every reason to smile.  He’s once again doing what he wants to do, operating a restaurant whose approach and raison d’etre are encapsulated in this statement from the restaurant’s website:  We are an ingredient driven, community centered, counter service restaurant, wine bar, and retail shop. Chef Urciuoli does…

Gray’s Coors Tavern – Pueblo, Colorado

Dante Alighieri’s classic poem “A Divine Comedy” recounts a spiritual journey in which the author was guided by ancient Roman poet Virgil through hell, purgatory, and paradise.  Their path takes them through the nine circles of Hell where they witness the punishments suffered for all eternity by the souls of deceased sinners.  The deepest circle of Hell, where Satan resides, is reserved for history’s worst traitors–Judas Iscariot, Brutus, Cassius…and maybe a certain New Mexico food blogger who not only admits there is wonderful green chile to be found outside the paradise that is the Land of Enchantment; he believes it’s…