Category: United States

ArizonaRated 23Thai

Malee’s Thai Bistro – Scottsdale, Arizona

Gil Garduno

Many a time have I luxuriated in the pleasures of a memorable repast at a restaurant outside of New Mexico and found myself thinking “if only these tastes were available back home.”  I typically then fantasize about bringing those tastes to the Land of Enchantment myself.  Alas, lofty intentions, a profuse lack of culinary talents and the absence of the capital necessary to realize my fantasies subsume those dreams and I instead yen for future visits to restaurants whose incomparable tastes have captured my reality. In Deirdre Pain, I found someone through whom I can live vicariously.  An aficionado of Thai food, she became disillusioned with most Thai restaurants, many of which lacked wine lists and whose wait staff struggled mightily…

IowaSandwichUnited States

Maid Rite – Osceola, Iowa

Gil Garduno

Several years ago my friend and colleague Bill “Roastmaster” Resnik and I had the opportunity to do what most employees only dream of.  We got to insult a corporate vice president for half an hour in the presence of even higher ranking corporate officials.  The occasion was the vice president’s retirement and we got to roast him– figuratively, but from the blush on his cheeks you might have thought it was literally.  It was one of the easiest from among the twenty or so roasts we’ve done because we had so much fodder with which to work.  The vice president was retiring to Iowa, a move which provided a wealth of material with which we could insult him. The roast…

BarbecueIllinoisRated 23

Gale Street Inn – Mundelein, Illinois

Gil Garduno

It took 47 years and one visit to the Gale Street Inn to understand why sailing vessels are ascribed the feminine gender. According to a placard on a wall at the Gale Street Inn, a nautical themed restaurant in the Northwest Chicago suburb of Mundelein, a ship is called a she because “there’s always a great deal of bustle around her…because there’s usually a gang of men around…because she has waist and stays…because she takes a lot of paint to keep her looking good…because it’s not the initial expense that breaks you, it’s the upkeep…because she is all decked out…because it take a good man to handle her right…because she shows her topside, hides her bottom and, when coming into…

IllinoisRated 25Sandwich

Johnnie’s Beef – Arlington Heights, Illinois

Gil Garduno

If you think Chicagoland politics are a contentious topic, try debating which restaurant serves up the best Italian Beef Sandwich in the “City of Big Shoulders.” Opinions don’t necessarily vary that widely as there are just a handful of restaurants which have truly distinguished themselves in the preparation of this Chicago staple. It’s in the intensity of the debate with which you might be surprised. Each of the anointed restaurants has its vocal supporters and each has its detractors and some in either party won’t hesitate to explain (with fisticuffs if necessary) why their choice is the best and yours is not. In 2009, the Travel Channel’s “Food Wars” program pitted two of Chicago’s most famous culinary rivals against one…

Closed in 2012DonutsGone But Not ForgottenIllinoisSpecialty

Apple Haus – Long Grove, Illinois (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

In grade school back in the 1960s, such characters as Paul Bunyan and Johnny Appleseed filled my mind with wonder and awe as I learned to determine fact from fiction (a process I still employ when listening to  nauseating political commercials which pollute the airwaves).  My mind was a veritable tabula rasa (blank slate) upon which my teachers (and my incessant poring over the Encyclopedia) imprinted knowledge of legend, lore, myth and fact.  Learning was a much more innocent process, not yet clouded with the cynicism wrought by historical revisionism based mostly on political ideology. Johnny Appleseed, it turns out, was very much man, not myth.  Born John Chapman, he became an American legend in America’s frontier days with an…

ContinentalIllinois

Bacchus Nibbles – Kildeer, Illinois

Gil Garduno

In Roman mythology, Bacchus was known as the god of wine and ecstasy. A youthful and handsome god with flowing tresses usually depicted wearing wine leaves or ivy on his head, he represented both the intoxicating and the beneficial influences of wine. Bacchanalian festivals, typified by riotous drunken merrymaking and sometimes orgiastic festivity are still celebrated in institutions of higher learning throughout America (who can forget the hilarious movie Animal House and the antics of the Delta House fraternity?). At Bacchus Nibbles Restaurant & Wine Shop, in Kildeer, a northwest Chicago suburb, wine can be appreciated in a “wine cave-like” atmosphere of civility and quaint refinement that  an aspiring sommelier might welcome. An impressive assemblage of wine, along with sundry…

BarbecueMissouriRated 23

Gates Bar B. Q. – Independence, Missouri

Gil Garduno

The cognoscenti seem to agree that the American epicenters of barbecue excellence are Texas, Memphis, Kansas City and South Carolina. In Texas, barbeque briquettes are burnished with beef–lean beef brisket celebrating the best in king cattle. At Memphis, they go hog wild at the pits for pulled porcine perfection. In South Carolina, the self-professed “cradle of American barbecue,” swine dining means pork smothered in a mustard-based sauce. Kansas City claims to put it all together with more than 100 barbecue restaurants, several of which have earned worldwide acclaim and celebrity. Traditionally, Kansas City barbecue is dry-rubbed, slow roasted over hickory and slathered with rich, sweetly tangy, medium spicy, tomato-based sauces that stick to the meat. Gates Bar-B-Q is a “City…

BurgersCaliforniaUnited States

The Squeeze Inn – Roseville, California

Gil Garduno

Tried to amend my carnivorous habits Made it nearly seventy days Losin’ weight without speed, eatin’ sunflower seeds Drinkin’ lots of carrot juice and soakin’ up rays But at night I’d had these wonderful dreams Some kind of sensuous treat Not zucchini, fettucini or Bulgar wheat But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat Cheeseburger in paradise (paradise) Heaven on earth with an onion slice (paradise) Not too particular not too precise (paradise) I’m just a cheeseburger in paradise ~Jimmy Buffett Just what is a cheeseburger in paradise?  In his top 40 song Cheeseburger in Paradise, Jimmy Buffett seems to infer that a cheeseburger in paradise can be any cheeseburger you consume after depriving yourself, or as…

AmericanCaliforniaChinese

Chuck’s Restaurant – Placerville, California

Gil Garduno

In 2009, James Beard Award-winning food journalists Jane and Michael Stern published a terrific tome entitled 500 Things to Eat Before It’s Too Late. Despite the ominous (some might say fatalistic) name, the book is actually a celebration of the best dishes that are unique to this country. The Sterns, who have been focusing on quirky All-American food haunts since 1977, describe in delicious detail, the best dishes proffered at roadside stands, cafes, street carts throughout the fruited plain.  It’s a marvelous tribute to those dishes that are uniquely American. As encompassing as the book is, it could not possibly have included every single culinary rarity and singularly distinctive dish.  Leave it to my friend Barbara Trembath to lead me…

AmericanArizonaRated 24

Cafe Cornucopia – Bisbee, Arizona

Gil Garduno

The Hollywood stereotype of restaurant critics paints them rather unflatteringly as condescending misanthropes to be feared. Those stereotypes would have you believe restaurant critics are eager to pounce on and expose the slightest imperfection.  Armed with pedantic palates and polysyllabic vocabularies overflowing with unfavorable adjectives, critics are painted as joyless beings whose quest it is to impart their misery on the restaurants they evaluate.  To the critic, the exemplar is French cuisine and everything else is so much schlock to be disdained. Consider the 1988 movie Mystic Pizza in which a snobbish restaurant critic renown for his “make or break” reviews deigned to visit a pizza parlor of all places.  With a stern countenance and belittling attitude, he based his…

ArizonaFine DiningMexicanUnited States

Cafe Poca Cosa – Tucson, Arizona

Gil Garduno

Stereotypes would have you believe English food and Mexican food are at the opposite end of the spectrum from one another…as different as day and night.  Those stereotypes paint English food as bland and unimaginative while Mexican food is depicted as spirited and exciting.  That makes it deliciously ironic that perhaps the foremost authority on Mexican food is an adventurous English woman named Diana Kennedy.  In 1957, she moved to Mexico and has spent most of her life since researching and documenting the culinary history of Mexican cuisine. For her inestimable contributions to the documentation of regional Mexican cuisine, the government of Mexico awarded her the “Order of the Aztec Eagle” award, the Mexican equivalent of knighthood while Queen Elizabeth…