Closed in 2014Gone But Not ForgottenLos Ranchos de AlbuquerqueSandwich

Village Subs – Los Ranchos de Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno4:57 AM

To paraphrase John 15:13, “No greater love a man has than this, that a man give up his life for a….sandwich?” In an uproariously funny episode of the television show Friends, Joey, Chandler and Ross go on a ride-along with Phoebe’s policeman boyfriend. Believing a back-firing muffler was actually a gunshot, Joey (sitting in between his two friends) dives, seemingly to protect Ross from harm.  Naturally Chandler was upset that Joey would choose to protect Ross instead of him…until he learns that Joey was actually trying to protect his sandwich.  In the finest tradition of Dagwood Bumstead, Joey Tribbiani loved sandwiches; they were his favorite food. I don’t know how many Americans would “take a bullet” for their sandwich, but…

AlbuquerqueClosed in 2012Gone But Not ForgottenHot DogsSandwich

Señor Dog – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno4:39 AM

H. K. Duff VIII:  Why not break your fast with our brand-new Isotope Dog Supreme? [Homer sniffs the hot dog.] Homer Simpson:  Oh, so hard to resist. Mesquite-grilled onions. Jalapeño relish. … Wait a minute, those are Southwestern ingredients. … Mango-lime salsa? That’s the kind of bold flavor they enjoy in … Albuquerque! Lenny: He’s right. Moe:  Yeah … and the wrapper says “Albuquerque Isotopes”! Within three months after the Duke City’s Triple-A baseball team, the Albuquerque Isotopes, co-opted its team name from The Simpsons animated television series, it sold more merchandise than the city’s previous Triple-A team, the Albuquerque Dukes, had sold in any entire season.  That was even before a single game had even been played. In that…

New MexicoRating: GoodRio RanchoVietnamese

Viet Rice – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil Garduno3:41 PM

In Vietnamese, “an com”‘ translates as “eating rice,” but it’s a phrase that more accurately implies the act of partaking of food. At Viet Rice, they know rice and they make the act of partaking of food a memorable one! The motto “We Know Rice” is declared on the menu and it’s part of the restaurant’s logo. It’s even on the restaurant’s entrance. More importantly, it’s obvious in the way Rio Rancho’s very first Vietnamese restaurant operates. True to its name, well crafted rice dishes are a specialty, but there’s so much more than rice at this small gem operating out of a sprawling shopping center. Viet Rice is one of the more visually appealing Vietnamese restaurants in the Duke…

AlbuquerqueClosed in 2012Gone But Not ForgottenMexican

Jo’s Place – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno11:16 AM

By their fruits ye shall know them. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? -Matthew 7:16 As Americans are often prone to judge fruit by the pleasingness of its appearance, the fragrance of its bouquet and the sweetness of its flavor, huitlacoche may not stand a chance.  A fungus which forms on the ears of corns, huitlacoche resembles a malignant tumor with postulous  black secretions  Worse, its name translates from Nahuatl, the ancient language of the Aztecs, to raven shi…er, excrement. In more pleasant company it’s called corn smut.  As if that isn’t bad enough, it’s created from a disease formed by a pathogenic plant fungus.  Is it any wonder persnickety Americans have been…

AmericanBreakfastNew MexicoRating: GoodRio Rancho

Weck’s – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil Garduno3:53 PM

Arguably the very best programming all year long on KNME, Albuquerque’s Public Broadcasting Station (PBS) comes during its four annual fund-raising campaigns.  For sandwich lovers all over New Mexico, no PBS feature is more greatly appreciated than Sandwiches That You Will Like, a documentary by Rick Sebak of television station WQED in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The documentary showcases unique sandwich offerings from throughout America. Voracious viewers like me practically salivate at the scrumptious sandwiches on display and lament the fact that most of them can’t be found within the borders of the Land of Enchantment. Watching the documentary is torture of the most delicious sort, no doubt prompting a rush to the refrigerator for even the least tortured among us.  One…

New MexicanNew MexicoNew Mexico Culinary Treasures TrailNew Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail: 2009New Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail: 2011Rating: Very Good

El Farolito – El Rito, New Mexico

Gil Garduno3:59 AM

The most contentious seasonal difference of opinion between Northern and Southern New Mexico residents isn’t whether Chimayo produces better chile than Hatch (though this will forever be in dispute). The great civil debate dividing the Land of Enchantment has all to do with semantics. More specifically, it has all to do with the appropriate name for the little paper bag lanterns which house a votive candle and light the way for the Holy Family on Christmas Eve. Misguided citizens of New Mexico’s lower half (just about anywhere south of and including Albuquerque) mistakenly call those lanterns luminarias while their more enlightened Northern brethren call them farolitos. Luminarias–stacked and crossed piñon boughs ignited on Christmas Eve to light the Holy Family’s…

New MexicanNew MexicoNew Mexico Culinary Treasures TrailRating: GoodSanta FeTravel Channel Eats New Mexico

Maria’s New Mexican Kitchen – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno1:00 PM

In 1712, the provincial governor for the kingdom of New Mexico decreed that henceforth, an annual reenactment of Diego De Vargas’ triumphant reentry into Santa Fe would be celebrated every year. Santa Feans have dutifully obeyed the proclamation ever since, making the Fiesta de Santa Fe the oldest civic celebration of its kind in North America.  Approaching its 400th year, the Fiesta is renown not only for its pageantry and pomp, but for its respectful reflection on a significant historical event. By 1951, however, the Fiesta as we know it today, had degenerated into a parody of its former self, a victim of crass commercialism which Santa Fe’s Pulitzer Prize winning writer Oliver La Farge called “a shabby commercial carnival.” …

AlbuquerqueAmericanClosed in 2015Gone But Not Forgotten

Tim’s Place – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED: 2015)

Gil Garduno8:35 PM

“In my walks, every man I meet is my superior in some way, and in that I learn from him.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson WARNING:  The program you are about to see…seeks to throw a humorous spotlight on our frailties, prejudices and concerns.  By making them a source of laughter, we hope to show–in a mature fashion–just how absurd they are.”  With that stark warning, the landmark satire All in the Family debuted on January 12th, 1971.  No television program–before or since–has changed the face of television to the extent All in the Family did.  Some credit it for ushering in the era of political correctness. At its peak, All in the Family was the highest rated television show in…

AlbuquerqueClosed in 2011Gone But Not ForgottenMexican

Guicho’s Authentic Mexican Food Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno7:04 AM

There have been Mexican restaurants in the Land of Enchantment for as long as there have been restaurants.  While the distinction between Mexican restaurants and New Mexican restaurants has become less obfuscated over time, there is still a tendency among many casual diners to think “a Mexican restaurant is a Mexican restaurant.”  That errant thinking is probably due to the preponderance on this side of the border of Mexican restaurants from the northern Mexican state of Chihuahua. The cuisine of Chihuahua is characterized by its simplicity, reflecting the resilience of its people, settlers of a land steeped with rugged terrain, craggy mountains and rough lands in which great temperature variations exist between scalding heat and almost freezing cold.  Dehydrated chile is a…

AlbuquerqueAmericanClosed in 2015Gone But Not Forgotten

Cool Water Fusion Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno10:27 PM

All day I’ve faced a barren waste Without the taste of water, cool water Old Dan and I with throats burned dry And souls that cry for water Cool, clear, water. – The Sons of the Pioneers Cool Water!  For all of us who have experienced the energy-depleting sensation of being parched on a sweltering, sudorific day in the desiccated southwest, there is nothing which will quench that thirst better than cool water.  Country crooner Marty Robbins sang about it in 1959 when he released his version of the classic Sons of the Pioneers song, his velvety smooth voice conveying the anguish of a man (and his mule Dan) in dire need of cool water’s life-giving, energy-replenishing qualities. Cool Water! …

AmericanClosed in 2012Gone But Not ForgottenSanta Fe

Real Food Nation – Santa Fe, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno11:16 PM

“Come on, you know you want it!”  Television commercials, movies and especially cartoons frequently depict temptation as a battle being waged by two miniature versions of the person being tempted. Faced with a crisis of conscience–doing the right or the wrong thing–a devil-self (complete with horns and a pitchfork) suddenly pops up on the left (or sinister) shoulder and an angel-self on the right.  Quite naturally, the devil-self prods and prompts for the person to do the wrong thing while the beatific angel-self implores the person to resist temptation. When waging an internal conflict as to whether or not I should have some unhealthy dessert, a greasy burger or another slice of pizza, my muse, angel and conscience is often…