A Bite of Belgium – Las Cruces, New Mexico

Jerry: “Don’t you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything. I’d have to dress different. I’d have to act different. I’d have to grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I’d need a new bedspread and new curtains I’d have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I’d have to get new friends. I’d have to get orgy friends. … Naw, I’m not ready for it.” ~Seinfeld In the sixth season of Seinfeld, Jerry is dating Sandy, a “non-laugher” who seems unamused by his jokes. When Jerry goes to Sandy’s apartment he meets Laura, her roommate, who laughs at his jokes.  Almost as important to the superficial Jerry, she’s very…

Jimmy’s Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

The first (and probably most important) English words my parents taught me before my first day of school were “May I please go to the restroom?”.  That simple phrase was the beginning of my love-hate relationship with the English language.  English can be a confounding language if it’s your primary language, but learning it as a second language is brutal.  I thought I’d never pick up the  many complicated sets of rules (and their variations) governing how English is spoken and written.  English remains a challenge for me to this day (and for exposing you to my multitudinous grammatical fox paws and malapropisms, I sincerely apologize). Even English names were a challenge to learn because many of them have diminutive counterparts which don’t…

Dolina – Santa Fe, New Mexico

For my dad, a professional educator for thirty years, it wasn’t enough that his children learned how to spell cat, dog and all the other traditional first words kids learn to spell in school.  He taught us how to spell Czechoslovakia, rhinoceros, aesthetic and other multisyllabic words.  He also taught us what those words meant.  Being kids, we giggled when he taught us about Lake Titicaca in the Andes of Bolivia, but marveled at its size and altitude.  Because of his teaching, one of my sisters could (at age seven) recite the alphabet backwards as quickly as most people can recite it forward.  Two of my sisters were double-promoted and both finished high school as valedictorians. My dad didn’t teach…

La Sirenita – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Our friends, John Martin and Lynn Garner and I couldn’t help but laugh. There before our very eyes was the depiction of a meme come to life. In the dining room of la Sirenita was a papier Mâché reproduction of the bottom half of a mermaid. It reminded us of a meme we recently shared.  That meme depicted a grizzled sailor marooned on a desert island.  On the first panel of the meme the sailor smiled lasciviously as a beautiful and buxom mermaid approached the island.  The second panel shows the sailor cooking the bottom half of the mermaid on a rotisserie.  Yeah, it’s gruesome, but come on, it’s funny, too. The bottom half of a mermaid wasn’t the only…

Java Joe’s – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“I hate chile powder.” ~Tuco Salamanca Breaking Bad, Season 2 Duty-bound to make himself available to the citizenry of the fledgling United States, newly elected president George Washington spent the night in so many private homes and inns that “George Washington Slept Here” remains a real estate cliché and tourist draw centuries later. Perhaps the closest similarly celebrated landmarks in the Albuquerque metropolitan area are the filming sites for the 16-time Emmy Award-winning television series Breaking Bad. Never mind that Albuquerque recently celebrated its Tercentennial–three hundred years of history. History is not what visitors want to see. They want to see the Duke City of Breaking Bad. Albuquerque, which itself became a character in Breaking Bad, is the home of…

Sunnyside Up Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side Keep on the sunny side of life It will help us ev’ry day, it will brighten all the way If we’ll keep on the sunny side of life.” ~Keep On The Sunny Side Lyrics According to Statistica, a leading provider of market and consumer data, in 2019 the per capita consumption of eggs in the United States was 207.1 eggs.  That’s up from 177.7 eggs per consumer in the year 2000.  In a 2019 survey conducted by YouGov, an international research data and analytics group, respondents indicated their most preferred way to consume eggs for breakfast is scrambled eggs (36%).  Other choices were eggs over easy (18%), sunny side up…

Cafe Genevieve – Jackson, Wyoming

My friend and former Intel colleague Steve Caine will forever rue the day he asked me to help him with an expense report for a business trip he made to Portland, Oregon. His itemized expense report indicated he had dined twice at Chevy’s, a middling quality Americanized Mexican restaurant which wouldn’t survive in the tough Albuquerque market. I teased him mercilessly. Worse, when my boss saw what the commotion was all about, he immediately put Steve on double-secret probation. Steve has never lived down visiting a Chevy’s in Portland where he could have had some of the country’s freshest and best seafood. When the din died down, Steve admitted somewhat sheepishly that after two days in Portland, he was missing…

Bigwood Bread Cafe – Ketchum, Idaho

Ernest Hemingway spent much of the roaring twenties in Paris, a city whose own liberal attitudes attracted poets, painters and writers from throughout the world. Paris was a vibrant city which drew many expats from the so-called “lost generation” of cynical young people disillusioned with the materialism and individualism prevalent in society at the time.  As a young writer penning “A Moveable Feast,” Hemingway observed: “You got very hungry when you did not eat enough in Paris,” because all the bakery shops had such good things in the windows and people ate outside at tables on the sidewalk so that you saw and smelled the food.” An avid outdoorsman, Ernest Hemingway, was a Sun Valley habitué even before establishing a…

Yellow Brick Cafe – Twin Falls, Idaho

In the Air Force, when you’re stationed at a base overseas, service members receive an orientation on how to comport ourselves (behave) in that country.  We’re cautioned about cultural do’s and don’ts.  We’re introduced to American terminology and conduct our host country members might find offensive.  Above all, it’s emphasized that we are ambassadors for the United States, that our behavior reflects on our country.  We’re admonished not to perpetrate the “ugly American” stereotype that some countries have about the fruited plain.  If you’re not familiar with the term, here’s how Wikipedia defines it: “Ugly American” is a stereotype depicting American citizens as exhibiting loud, arrogant, demeaning, thoughtless, ignorant, and ethnocentric behavior mainly abroad, but also at home. When my…

Milly’s Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Until rather recently, if there was a wide diversity of opinion about Albuquerque’s restaurant scene, it wasn’t widely shared. Albuquerque’s two daily periodicals, the Albuquerque Journal and the Albuquerque Tribune as well as a number of alternative publications published weekly restaurant reviews, but opinions and observations expressed therein were rather one-sided. It wasn’t until about 2008 that crowd-sourced restaurant reviews really took off in the Duke City. Published in such online mediums as TripAdvisor (founded in 2000), Yelp (launched in 2004) and Urbanspoon (debuted in 2006), crowd-sourced review venues gave everyone an opportunity to become a “critic.” More than ever before “Joe and Jane Diner” had license to express rather colorful (sometimes bordering on libel) versions of their truth. One…

Los Olivos – Albuquerque, New Mexico

For many New Mexicans, Durango, Colorado is much more familiar than Durango, Mexico.  In truth, however, Mexico’s Durango may actually have more historical significance and ties to the Land of Enchantment than its like-named resort town in Colorado.  That’s especially true for the Catholic Churches of New Mexico. Episcopal jurisdiction for the Catholic church in New Mexico was placed in 1797 under the stewardship of the Bishop of Durango. New Mexico remained part of the Diocese of Durango until 1850 when Pope Pius IX created the Vicariate Apostolic of New Mexico and appointed Father Jean Baptiste Lamy as its first Bishop.  Yes, that’s the same Father Jean Baptiste Lamy on whom Wila Cather’s Death Comes For the Archbishop is based.…