Happy Chickenzz – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“And believe me, a good piece of chicken can make anybody believe in the existence of God.” ~Sherman Alexie, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian Two things came to mind when my friend Nader and I approached Happy Chickenzz. First, I mused, “if happy cows come from California (a 2002 marketing campaign for California cheese), where do happy chickenzz come from.” My second rumination was to wonder if the ‘zz’ at the end of the word chicken is an indication that the chicken is so boring, it’ll put your taste buds to sleep. You know, zzzzz. As we were quick to learn, it’s not only the chickenzz who are happy here.  So are diners.  Endorphin-rush happy! Fully sated…

Duran’s Station – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Homer Simpson: “Five-alarm chili, eh? (Takes a bite) One…two…Hey, what’s the big idea?” Ned Flanders: “Oh, I admit it. It’s only two alarm, two and a half, tops! I just wanted to be a big man in front of the kids.” One-alarm, two-alarm, three-alarm…since the 1850s, American fire departments have relied on alarm systems to alert firefighters to the severity of a fire and the staff required to battle the conflagration. Typically the higher the number of alarms, the more severe the fire and the greater the complement of firefighters required to fight it though the precise meaning of an “alarm” varies, depending on the fire department. It stands to reason that a multi-alarm designation also be used to designate…

Hurricane’s Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“What is it with you New Mexicans and your fascination for natural disasters?” my Maryland transplanted friend Jessie Miller once asked me. When I inquired as to what he was talking about, he elaborated that two of his favorite Duke City restaurants are named for natural disasters. “Natural disasters,” I asked. “I don’t know of any restaurants named “Forest Fire” or “Drought,” the only New Mexico occurring natural disasters that came immediately to mind. He laughed, “what’s ironic about the restaurants I have in mind is that they’re named for hurricanes and twisters, two natural disasters that don’t occur in Albuquerque.” I reminded him that our ubiquitous spring dust devils are, by definition, twisters. “Yeah, but you sure don’t have…

Viet’s Pho – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“”Vietnam. It grabs you and doesn’t let you go. Once you love it, you love it forever.” ~ Anthony Bourdain Most of us have never been to Vietnam. It’s possible, maybe likely, that most of us will never make it to Vietnam…at least not in a corporeal state. That’s an important distinction because for years, we’ve already been visiting Vietnam. We’ve been magically transported to Vietnam every time Anthony Bourdain visited. Bourdain had the rare ability to develop intimate connections with the cultures and people he encountered in his travels then translate those connections into expressive and relatable narratives. He was a gifted raconteur whose rare honesty, lack of pretense, irreverent sense of humor and self-deprecating humility came across so…

Sassella – Santa Fe, New Mexico

In Cold Tuscan Stone, the first in a series of spellbinding mysteries set in Italy, author David P. Wagner did such a magnificent job in developing relatable characters and creating a sense of place that I felt myself transported to the world of Rick Montoya, the affable protagonist in David’s series.  Through David’s vivid imagery, I could almost taste, smell and experience la dolce vita of the Italian countryside.  I laughed with delightful voyeurism at the bumpkinly naivete of Herb and Shirley, an American couple who came to Italy to find an Italian chef for a restaurant they planned to open in Davenport, Iowa. Not surprisingly their benchmark for Italian cooking was the Olive Garden.   They were puzzled when…

Los Primos Mexican Grill – Albuquerque, New Mexico

When you’re young and dumb and have an inflated sense of invisibility, you commit some youthful indiscretions that often evoke pangs of regret and remorse during your wizened years.  Invariably your reflections prompt the question “could I really have been that stupid?.”  Sometimes, however, those indiscretions are mischievous and harmless, prompting pleasant memories, maybe even laughter.   Indiscretions of the latter type invariably involved my favorite primos Edward and Lawrence.  When my primos visited us in Peñasco, all their Duke City slickness and urban sophistication went out the window and they became rural ruffians like us. One of my favorite memories of my primos involves an interloping herd of cows.  Because Peñasco was open-range country and cattle didn’t understand either…

Caveman Burgers – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“It’s so easy, even a caveman can…find it.” The Geico commercial depicting metrosexualized troglodytes living in contemporary America came to mind when I couldn’t find CaveMan Burgers on Central Avenue. While your typical caveman about town would probably have googled the restaurant’s address, this homo-dumbassicus took for granted that when KRQE reported CaveMan Burgers was “on Central near Coors,” it was in immediate proximity to Coors, not blocks away. I also took for granted that there would be clear signage, if not a prominent storefront, pointing out exactly where this primitive-themed purveyor of prodigious burgers is located. Thankfully serendipity won out where poor planning failed and I located CaveMan Burgers while stopped at a small strip mall parking lot to…

Ajiaco Colombian Bistro – Albuquerque, New Mexico

If your perception of Colombia is of a nation beleaguered with drugs, terrorism and violence, you may just have to recalibrate your thinking. In 2014, for the second consecutive year, a WIN-Gallup poll conducted in 65 countries revealed that Colombia earned the distinction of being the world’s happiest country. Known as the “Barometer of Happiness and Hope,” the survey reported that of 1,012 Colombian respondents, 86 percent consider themselves “happy” while only 2 percent report themselves as “unhappy.” The United States, by the way, ranked as only the 31st happiest nation surveyed. So what could possibly account for Colombia’s surprisingly high happiness quotient? In discussing the survey results with my friend John (who’s married to a beautiful Colombian woman), I…

The Kitchen by 135 Degrees – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Note from The Kitchen by 135 Degrees Facebook Page: 12 December 2019 : The Kitchen by 135 Degrees will be closing to the public to focus on catering and private events at our location. We are very grateful to all of you who supported us this past year. Once described as the “enfant terrible of the gastronomic scene,” curmudgeonly English food critic Jay Rayner pondered “Why would anyone want to take a good piece of meat and cook it until it has the texture of shoe leather, but none of the utility? Why would they want to put something in their mouth that tastes of nothing and gives your jaw cramps?” He was, of course, railing against the egregious violation…

1933 Brewing Co. – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“Why don’t they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.” ~Will Rogers “I’ll drink to that.”  Such was the rampant sentiment with which Americans welcomed the repeal of the notorious 18th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which had prohibited “the manufacture, sale, or transportation of intoxicating liquors…”  For more than a decade Prohibition had not only wrought dramatic increases in alcoholism and crime, it had created a lucrative black market for liquor.  Gangsters such as Al Capone and thousands of bootleggers across the fruited plain basically fulfilled American demand for intoxicating liquor with a supply of unregulated,…

2G’s Bistro – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

In May, 2018, Yelp published its listing of the 50 best restaurants in Albuquerque. Only three of them came from the not-yet-done-revitalizing East Downtown (EDo) district. The two that won’t surprise anyone are The Grove Cafe & Market at number eight and Standard Diner at number forty-seven. Sandwiched between them is a relative newcomer named 2G’s Bistro which ranked twenty-first. Geographically, 2G’s Bistro is also sandwiched somewhere between The Grove and the Standard Diner on Central Avenue. My very preliminary assessment (one visit) is that it may be better than its EDo neighbors on Yelp’s list (gasp, the sacrilege). Even though 2G’s only had 43 Yelp reviews as of my first visit, they averaged five stars.  Fourteen months later (August,…