Category: Burgers

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Lumpy’s Burgers – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno1:44 AM

Of all the adjectives that can be used to describe something or someone, lumpy is certainly not one of the most complimentary.  Think of all the Archie Bunker-like tantrums thrown during holiday meals when lumpy mashed potatoes are served or the breakfast battles that ensue when the oatmeal is lumpy. In fits of pique, seven-time Academy Award nominated actor Richard Burton often called his voluptuous wife Elizabeth Taylor “lumpy,” perhaps one of the reasons Hollywood’s most volatile couple was twice divorced and their relationship generally tumultuous. Perhaps worse than describing something as “lumpy” is giving someone that nickname. Consider the Saturday Night Live skit which poked fun at former University of New Mexico golfer and current PGA tour pro Tim Herron because the “less than svelte” golfer’s nickname is “Lumpy.”  Never mind that the self-deprecating Herron embraces the sobriquet, it’s often the target of derision.  The Leave It To Beaver television series of the 50s and 60s portrayed “Lumpy” Rutherford as a “hefty” teenage dullard who’s a bit of a bully. So why would a hamburger joint on Route 66 christen itself “Lumpy?”  Prospective diners would certainly hope it’s not a descriptive adjective for its burgers.  When owners Jay Kennedy…

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Route 66 Malt Shop – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:21 AM

In a May, 2009 edition of New Mexico Magazine feature celebrating “20 reasons Rail is Cool Now,” the magazine’s staff and contributors shared the best things to experience via the New Mexico Railrunner Express.”  A Duke City notable was root beer at the Route 66 Malt Shop and Grill, then about three miles from the nearest Railrunner depot.  The magazine encouraged readers to “order a frosty mug of homemade award-winning root beer, or make it a float.”  While you’re at it, the magazine suggested “sinking your teeth into the signature Blue Cheese Green Chile Burger.  Dee-lish.” Ironically just as the magazine was hitting the newsstands, the Route 66 Malt Shop’s west-facing windows were scrawled with the alarming words “Lost Our Lease, Being Evicted.”  To the consternation of hundreds of loyal patrons who  signed petitions on the restaurant’s behalf, the developer who owns the building in which the restaurant was housed apparently had other plans for it.  Owners Diane Avila and Eric Szeman were unable to reach an accord with their landlord and had to close the beloved institution they operated for so long. To call an 845 square foot hole-in-the-wall an institution is a testament to how firmly entrenched and highly regarded this…

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Billy Goat Tavern – Chicago, Illinois

Gil Garduno9:31 AM

The genesis of the idiomatic expression “got your goat” which means “to greatly annoy someone” is in dispute with sources attributing it to both the United States and England.  The American version has it that horse trainers would put a goat in a racing horse’s stall to keep it calm.  When bettors wanted a horse to race badly, they took it away (ergo “got someone’s goat”) and the horse would become agitated and run badly.  No evidence exists to support this legend.  According to the English version, keeping a goat in the barn has a calming effect on cows, thereby motivating them to produce more milk.  When rapscallions wanted to upset competing cattle ranchers, they would abscond with their goat rendering their cows less to non-productive. In Chicago, the phrase “got your goat” has meant something entirely different since 1945, the very last time the Chicago Cubs played in the World Series.  That’s more than 67 days of ineptitude and frustration.  That’s the power of the “billy goat curse” and it all happened because Cubs owner P.K. Wrigley prevented local Greek restaurateur William “Billy Goat” Sianis and his pet goat Murphy from going through the turnstiles to watch game four…

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Bert’s Burger Bowl – Santa Fe, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:57 AM

The tee shirts worn by a nattily attired and enthusiastic wait staff at Bert’s Burger Bowl say it all: “Since 1954: One Location Worldwide.” Celebrating its golden anniversary in 2004, Bert’s seems to transcend time with a winning formula: great burgers, terrific service and reasonable prices. Generations of New Mexicans and visitors have made Bert’s a beloved Santa Fe dining destination.  It is such a beloved local institution that then-Representative Tom Udall entered it into the Congressional Record in September, 2004 to commemorate its 50th anniversary. It’s easy to believe Bert’s popularity is an anomaly. It’s open only until 7PM six days a week and until 5PM on Sundays. There’s nowhere to sit inside the restaurant and if you’re in a hurry, you’re out of luck because every burger is prepared to order. So why do generations of burgerphiles make Bert’s Burger Bowl a popular indulgence? World famous chef Martin Rios of the Anasazi may have said it best in the May, 2007 edition of Santa Fean magazine, “no one beats these burgers.” That’s high praise indeed from a culinary artiste who has been named Chef of the Year by both the city of Santa Fe and the State of…

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In-N-Out Burger – Chandler, Arizona

Gil Garduno2:48 PM

During a 2011 episode of Break the Chain, the enlightening and entertaining food-centric radio program hosted by the brilliant Ryan Scott, Larry McGoldrick, the professor with the pulchritudinous palate, made some rather unkind comments about Blake’s Lotaburger, an exclusively New Mexico institution.  I cautioned him that local listeners might show up at the radio station armed with pitchforks and torches. That’s how much New Mexicans love the burger franchise whose motto reminds them that “If you are what you eat, you are awesome.” It’s not always easy to express your opinion about something as sacrosanct and beloved as Lotaburger, but inspired by Larry’s honesty, let me share my thoughts about In-N-Out Burger, a California institution that’s beloved beyond the Golden State, a burger restaurant National Geographic named the second best burger in the fruited plain in its “Top 10 Best of Everything” for 2012.  When it comes to In-N-Out, I’m most definitely in the minority.  I don’t get it at all… I first found out about In-N-Out Burger in 1987 while developing psychometrics for the United States Air Force in San Antonio, Texas.  Two of my test-writing colleagues were native, In-N-Out Burger obsessed Californians who never seemed to take off…

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Bobcat Bite – Santa Fe, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:38 PM

Update:  In a twist of cruel irony, the Travel Channel’s May 13th airing of the Burger Land program celebrating the Bobcat Bite debuted just a few days after the announcement that the world-famous Bobcat Bite as we all know and love it will be forever changed.  An official statement from Bobcat Bite, issued on May 9th, announced the restaurant renowned for its outstanding green chile cheeseburger would shutter its doors in June, 2013.  The press release read: After 12 years, Bonnie and John Eckre will serve their last famous Bobcat Bite burger at the Old Las Vegas Highway location on June 9. They will be vacating the premises June 14th at the demand of the building’s owners, the Panzer family.”  Fret not, Bobcat Bite lovers.  Bonnie and John are serving their outstanding burgers at Santa Fe Bite just north of the famous Santa Fe Plaza. In his celebration of America’s favorite dish, filmmaker George Motz traversed the fruited plain in search of some of the country’s most unique burgers for his 54-minute film Hamburger America . An avowed burger lover, he wasn’t necessarily trying to find and rank America’s best burgers per se. Instead, he feted eight restaurants in continuous…

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Piggy’s Hot Dogs & Hamburgers – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno10:37 PM

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.” – William Shakespeare Certainly as a lexicologist, the Bard of Avon should know darned well that what something is named does matter…or maybe not so much.  In Waco, Texas, a burger joint has eschewed politically correctness by calling itself “Fat Ho Burgers.”  Diners line up for as long as an hour for burgers with such culturally sensitive sobriquets as the Supa Fly Ho (a single patty with cheese), a Supa Dupa Fly Ho (two patties with cheese), a Skinny Ho (no pickles and tomato) or a Dried Up Ho (plain meat with cheese).  The restaurant’s inclusiveness is demonstrated with a Tiny Ho burger, the Fat Ho’s kid’s meal. In a February, 2012 example of a restaurant living up to its name, a patron dining at the aptly named Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas, Nevada, suffered precisely what the name on the marquee practically promises with meals that feature nearly ten-thousand calories: a heart attack.  The diner was merrily consuming a “Triple Bypass Burger”–one and a half pounds of beef and a dozen slices of bacon when he began complaining of chest…

BurgersClosed in 2017Gone But Not ForgottenNew MexicoNew Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail: 2011

Blue Ribbon Bar & Grill – Estancia, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno4:24 PM

Unlike diners throughout New Mexico, bears in the Sandias and Manzanos  have found food in their mountain habitats very scarce, forcing them to forage populated areas for their fill.  As of August 25th, 2011, the New Mexico Game and Fish Department had received 141 reports of bear sightings from Placitas to Belen, communities west of the mountains.  In 2010, food shortages resulted in 467 reports of bear sightings in the Sandias and Manzanos, 251 of them west of the mountains. Visit Estancia, New Mexico and you’re likely to encounter more Bears in one hour than residents along the Sandias and Manzanos will see in an entire year. So many, in fact, that you’d think they own the town.  Bears walk around brazenly, proudly sporting seasonal reddish hues.  They stride into restaurants and shops where they’re welcomed like the old friends and neighbors they are.  That’s what life in a small community is like. The Estancia Bears varsity sports teams are the only game in town and every resident of this close-knit community about half an hour east of Albuquerque’s Big I interchange is a fan.  Local businesses carry Estancia Bears merchandise–shirts, baseball caps, beverage cups, coasters and more.  Bears schedules…

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Willard Cantina & Cafe – Willard, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:30 PM

When it comes to staycations (stay at home vacations), New Mexicans rank near the bottom among America’s traveling public.  Citizens of the Land of Enchantment, it seems, prefer to spend their discretionary income elsewhere.  Monique Jacobson, Secretary of New Mexico’s Tourism Department, hopes to change that with a number of initiatives targeted at reminding New Mexico’s citizenry of all there is to do and see in our state. During the press conference in which she introduced the New Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail for 2011, Secretary Jacobson stressed that in addition to New Mexico’s natural treasures and storied past, culinary tourism–traveling throughout the state to experience its unique cuisine–is one of the best reasons to travel in New Mexico.  It’s something about which she’s personally very passionate, admitting to having consumed five green chile cheeseburgers during her first week back in the state after a stint as a marketing executive for Pepsi. As a practitioner of frequent “daycations” (day-long trips near home) throughout the Land of Enchantment, I take Secretary Jacobson’s words to heart.  Inspired by her heartfelt testimony about culinary tourism and vacationing near home, my first daycation following her press conference would be in pursuit of yet another…

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Doc & Eddy’s – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno11:50 AM

Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got. Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot. Wouldn’t you like to get away? Sometimes you want to go Where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same You wanna be where everybody knows Your name. –Cheers Lyrics America has become increasingly homogenized as corporate chains have used catchy jingles, universal name recognition and multi-million dollar media budgets to spread their tentacles across the fruited plain and entice gullible  customers into their  copycat restaurants.  Despite the boring sameness perpetuated by corporate chains, Americans still crave a familiar, comfortable and welcoming gathering spot where “everybody knows your name.”  More than ever, American diners want to support restaurants that are part of the community, especially those which showcase local fare and local ingredients. Local restaurants–mom-and-pops–the type of which will be celebrated by Ryan Scott’s compelling radio program “Break the Chain” also inspire loyalty because they’re owned and operated by our friends and neighbors, people like us who are invested in the community and share our passion for the Land of Enchantment.  That…

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Bumble Bee’s Baja Grill & Burgers – Santa Fe, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:38 PM

The economic malaise of recent years has prompted Americans to become more judicious on how they spend their disposable income (the little that’s left after all the usual bills, expenses and taxes are paid off).  Instead of splurging on gourmet meals at high-end restaurants, Americans are going to those same high-end restaurants for a reliable old favorite that in years past would not have graced their menus.  More than ever, Americans are turning to an American original,  our ultimate comfort food and favorite sandwich–the hamburger–and not the “gobble and go” burgers proffered by the bastions of fast food. American consumers have made it known through their wallets and purses that despite the current economic environment, the one luxury they are not willing to cut back on is a premium burger.  Technomic, a food service industry consultant, confirms that “consumers are willing to pay more for a specialty burger, especially a premium burger, than they are for a standard burger, regardless of restaurant segment.”  That’s why even high-end restaurants and classically trained chefs make sure there’s a premium burger on their menu. In recent years, when restaurant traffic has consistently experienced quarter-after-quarter declines, the  NPD Group, a market research expert, reports…