Category: Burgers

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Lumpy’s Burgers – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

Of all the adjectives that can be used to describe something or someone, lumpy is certainly not one of the most complimentary.  Think of all the Archie Bunker-like tantrums thrown during holiday meals when lumpy mashed potatoes are served or the breakfast battles that ensue when the oatmeal is lumpy. In fits of pique, seven-time Academy Award nominated actor Richard Burton often called his voluptuous wife Elizabeth Taylor “lumpy,” perhaps one of the reasons Hollywood’s most volatile couple was twice divorced and their relationship generally tumultuous. Perhaps worse than describing something as “lumpy” is giving someone that nickname. Consider the Saturday Night Live skit which poked fun at former University of New Mexico golfer and current PGA tour pro Tim…

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Dandy Burger – Española, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

Back in my halcyon youth as a multi-sport athlete at Peñasco High School (when I could consume half a million calories a meal at no detriment to my then svelte physique), Dandy Burger in beautiful downtown Española was a frequent dining destination–particularly after the then “not so mighty” Peñasco Panthers suffered a loss (and there were many of them). On the rare occasion in which we actually won a game, our coaches would “treat us” to chicken fried steak at some “fancy” restaurant. We didn’t have the heart to tell them we preferred Dandy Burger.  Frankly, I still do.  It’s hard to resist stopping for a green chile cheeseburger and a bit of nostalgia every time we drive through Española.…

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Route 66 Malt Shop – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

In a May, 2009 edition of New Mexico Magazine feature celebrating “20 reasons Rail is Cool Now,” the magazine’s staff and contributors shared the best things to experience via the New Mexico Railrunner Express.”  A Duke City notable was root beer at the Route 66 Malt Shop and Grill, then about three miles from the nearest Railrunner depot.  The magazine encouraged readers to “order a frosty mug of homemade award-winning root beer, or make it a float.”  While you’re at it, the magazine suggested “sinking your teeth into the signature Blue Cheese Green Chile Burger.  Dee-lish.” Ironically just as the magazine was hitting the newsstands, the Route 66 Malt Shop’s west-facing windows were scrawled with the alarming words “Lost Our Lease,…

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Billy Goat Tavern – Chicago, Illinois

Gil Garduno

The genesis of the idiomatic expression “got your goat” which means “to greatly annoy someone” is in dispute with sources attributing it to both the United States and England.  The American version has it that horse trainers would put a goat in a racing horse’s stall to keep it calm.  When bettors wanted a horse to race badly, they took it away (ergo “got someone’s goat”) and the horse would become agitated and run badly.  No evidence exists to support this legend.  According to the English version, keeping a goat in the barn has a calming effect on cows, thereby motivating them to produce more milk.  When rapscallions wanted to upset competing cattle ranchers, they would abscond with their goat…

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Bert’s Burger Bowl – Santa Fe, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

The tee shirts worn by a nattily attired and enthusiastic wait staff at Bert’s Burger Bowl say it all: “Since 1954: One Location Worldwide.” Celebrating its golden anniversary in 2004, Bert’s seems to transcend time with a winning formula: great burgers, terrific service and reasonable prices. Generations of New Mexicans and visitors have made Bert’s a beloved Santa Fe dining destination.  It is such a beloved local institution that then-Representative Tom Udall entered it into the Congressional Record in September, 2004 to commemorate its 50th anniversary. It’s easy to believe Bert’s popularity is an anomaly. It’s open only until 7PM six days a week and until 5PM on Sundays. There’s nowhere to sit inside the restaurant and if you’re in…

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In-N-Out Burger – Chandler, Arizona

Gil Garduno

During a 2011 episode of Break the Chain, the enlightening and entertaining food-centric radio program hosted by the brilliant Ryan Scott, Larry McGoldrick, the professor with the pulchritudinous palate, made some rather unkind comments about Blake’s Lotaburger, an exclusively New Mexico institution.  I cautioned him that local listeners might show up at the radio station armed with pitchforks and torches. That’s how much New Mexicans love the burger franchise whose motto reminds them that “If you are what you eat, you are awesome.” It’s not always easy to express your opinion about something as sacrosanct and beloved as Lotaburger, but inspired by Larry’s honesty, let me share my thoughts about In-N-Out Burger, a California institution that’s beloved beyond the Golden…

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Bobcat Bite – Santa Fe, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

Update:  In a twist of cruel irony, the Travel Channel’s May 13th airing of the Burger Land program celebrating the Bobcat Bite debuted just a few days after the announcement that the world-famous Bobcat Bite as we all know and love it will be forever changed.  An official statement from Bobcat Bite, issued on May 9th, announced the restaurant renowned for its outstanding green chile cheeseburger would shutter its doors in June, 2013.  The press release read: After 12 years, Bonnie and John Eckre will serve their last famous Bobcat Bite burger at the Old Las Vegas Highway location on June 9. They will be vacating the premises June 14th at the demand of the building’s owners, the Panzer family.” …

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Piggy’s Hot Dogs & Hamburgers – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.” – William Shakespeare Certainly as a lexicologist, the Bard of Avon should know darned well that what something is named does matter…or maybe not so much.  In Waco, Texas, a burger joint has eschewed politically correctness by calling itself “Fat Ho Burgers.”  Diners line up for as long as an hour for burgers with such culturally sensitive sobriquets as the Supa Fly Ho (a single patty with cheese), a Supa Dupa Fly Ho (two patties with cheese), a Skinny Ho (no pickles and tomato) or a Dried Up Ho (plain meat with cheese).  The restaurant’s inclusiveness is demonstrated with a Tiny Ho…

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Blue Ribbon Bar & Grill – Estancia, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

Unlike diners throughout New Mexico, bears in the Sandias and Manzanos  have found food in their mountain habitats very scarce, forcing them to forage populated areas for their fill.  As of August 25th, 2011, the New Mexico Game and Fish Department had received 141 reports of bear sightings from Placitas to Belen, communities west of the mountains.  In 2010, food shortages resulted in 467 reports of bear sightings in the Sandias and Manzanos, 251 of them west of the mountains. Visit Estancia, New Mexico and you’re likely to encounter more Bears in one hour than residents along the Sandias and Manzanos will see in an entire year. So many, in fact, that you’d think they own the town.  Bears walk…

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Willard Cantina & Cafe – Willard, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

When it comes to staycations (stay at home vacations), New Mexicans rank near the bottom among America’s traveling public.  Citizens of the Land of Enchantment, it seems, prefer to spend their discretionary income elsewhere.  Monique Jacobson, Secretary of New Mexico’s Tourism Department, hopes to change that with a number of initiatives targeted at reminding New Mexico’s citizenry of all there is to do and see in our state. During the press conference in which she introduced the New Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail for 2011, Secretary Jacobson stressed that in addition to New Mexico’s natural treasures and storied past, culinary tourism–traveling throughout the state to experience its unique cuisine–is one of the best reasons to travel in New Mexico.  It’s…

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Doc & Eddy’s – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got. Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot. Wouldn’t you like to get away? Sometimes you want to go Where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same You wanna be where everybody knows Your name. –Cheers Lyrics America has become increasingly homogenized as corporate chains have used catchy jingles, universal name recognition and multi-million dollar media budgets to spread their tentacles across the fruited plain and entice gullible  customers into their  copycat restaurants.  Despite the boring sameness perpetuated by corporate chains, Americans still crave a familiar, comfortable and welcoming…