Rio Rancho Archives - Page 5 of 8 - Gil's Thrilling (And Filling) Blog

Albuquerque Bernalillo New Mexico Paletas Rating: Excellent Rio Rancho

The Paleta Bar – Bernalillo, New Mexico

Gil GardunoMay 7, 2020April 5, 202612:01 AM

A few decades ago, Mad Magazine (or was it Cracked) published a two-panel cartoon depicting a couple of gringo turistas visiting Mexico on a stifling summer day. On the first panel, one turista tells the other that he heard Mexican Coke is much stronger than Coke bottled across the border in the states. When the second turista opens the bottle, a fizzy carbonated explosion knocks down a bird flying overhead…proving, of course, that Mexican Coke is definitely stronger (not to mention better tasting). Even a camel would get thirsty in Mexico on a sweltering July day when temperatures flirt with the century mark and there are no cacti in sight to provide shade. No matter how thirsty that infernal dry…

New Mexican New Mexico Rating: N/R (Not Rated)Rio Rancho

Burrito Express – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil GardunoApril 18, 2020April 5, 20268:32 PM

In an article entitled “Ode to the Handheld” in the April, 2020 edition of New Mexico Magazine, writer Alicia Inez Guzman noted that when her dad was growing up in the sixties, “the idea of plating a burrito for a sit-down meal was unheard of, laughable even. That’s because the humble tortilla-as-envelope filled with protein and starch was tailor-made for eating in the fields and long the companion of the farm worker.” Google “burrito” and the results returned will almost invariably ascribe the same adjective used by Alicia Inez Guzman to describe the burrito–humble. That’s fitting considering burrito translates from Spanish to “little donkey,” also a companion of the farm worker and perhaps the most humble and hard-working of all…

Barbecue Burgers Closed in 2021 Gone But Not Forgotten New Mexico Rio Rancho

Triple B’s Bar-B-Que Burgers & Burritos – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil GardunoApril 1, 2020June 9, 20218:47 PM

Archaeologists in Spain claim to have unearthed the original man cave. What is most remarkable about this finding is how very similar Neanderthal man and contemporary man are. Men, it could be said, have not evolved much. Neanderthals were hairy and brutish in appearance, very much like the New York Giants and Philadelphia Eagles. They spoke in guttural grunts, similar to today’s politicians. Neanderthals scrawled their art on cave walls; contemporary man expresses himself artistically on bridges, underpasses and walls. Neanderthal man used tools: hammers, clubs and axes; contemporary man uses tools: television remote controls, joy sticks and iPhones. Cultural anthropologists (and Barbara Streisand) have long posited that throughout evolutionary history, man has had an inherent need for belonging to…

American Bar & Grill Brunch Closed in 2018 Gone But Not Forgotten New Mexico Rio Rancho

The Point Grill – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil GardunoAugust 5, 2018September 24, 201811:18 AM

“Get to the point!” Archie Bunker, the irascible curmudgeon on the 70’s sitcom All in the Family frequently chided his doting wife Edith with the epithet “Get to the Point, Edith!” One of the series occasional and most memorable bits depicted Archie’s pantomime suicides, carried out while Edith rambled on and on in her nasal high-pitched voice, wholly oblivious to his dramatic gestures. In one episode Archie did himself in by tying a noose and hanging himself as Edith prattled on incessantly. Archie also play-acted suicide by Russian roulette, overdosing on pills and slashing his wrist. His facial expressions at the moment of death were priceless, often portraying him with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Some visitors to…

Barbecue Closed in 2019 Gone But Not Forgotten New Mexico Rio Rancho

Stack House BBQ – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil GardunoFebruary 18, 2018March 31, 202612:56 PM

One of my Psychology professors cautioned students about the danger of “amateur diagnosis,” the practice of assigning specific psychoses and neuroses to people we meet solely on the basis of our cursory familiarity with the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. He explained that it often takes an experienced practicing psychiatrist several sessions to arrive at a diagnosis and many more sessions before treatment proves effective. His point–a little knowledge can be dangerous–applies in virtually every arena of knowledge in practicum. Reflecting back on all the times my rudimentary conclusions were ultimately proven incorrect, it’s a point well driven. When my friends Larry “the professor with the perspicacious palate” McGoldrick, Dazzling Deanell and Beauteous Barb decided to pursue Kansas…

Japanese New Mexico Ramen Rating: N/R (Not Rated)Rio Rancho Sushi

Nori Ramen & Sushi Bar – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil GardunoNovember 25, 2017April 5, 202610:29 PM

From our home in northeast Rio Rancho, it’s about thirteen miles to the Nori Ramen & Sushi Bar on Southern Boulevard. It would have been safer to run with the bulls at Pampalona than it was driving the half hour it took me to get to Nori. In those thirty minutes, an impatient tailgater blasted her horn at me for having the audacity to come to a complete stop at a stop sign in our subdivision. As she roared passed me on a 25 miles-per-hour street, she contemptuously extended her middle finger out the window (in the same way drivers espying the Dallas Cowboys plate on my car acknowledge the Cowboys are number one). Once on Highway 528, I witnessed…

Closed in 2017 Gone But Not Forgotten Mexican New Mexico Rio Rancho

El Maguey – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil GardunoApril 2, 2017July 8, 201812:01 AM

On a 2010 episode of The Travel Channel’s No Reservations series, host Anthony Bourdain described pulque as “the sap of the maguey cactus” as well as “man juice” and “Mexican Viagra.” That may explain why so many aspiring middle-aged brewers across the fruited plain rushed to their local nurseries in search of the maguey plant. Although maguey may be plentiful even in the Land of Enchantment, extracting pulque is a laborious process involving four distinct steps, the first of which is called castration. The name of this step may also explain why so many middle-aged men quickly lost their enthusiasm for cultivating maguey. In parts of Mexico where the maguey is harvested, native Zapotec, Mixtec and Mixe producers actually ask…

Chinese Closed in 2018 Gone But Not Forgotten Rio Rancho

Tao Chinese Bistro – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil GardunoFebruary 24, 2017November 9, 20188:23 PM

It’s highly unlikely ancient Chinese philosophers ever intended the concept of Tao to be used as an approach for the serial seduction of women, but that was the premise of the 2000 movie The Tao of Steve. Filmed in the Santa Fe area, this campy romantic comedy centered around a corpulent, underachieving former philosophy student who christened his approach after the somewhat stolid “cool” epitomized by three Steves: Steve McQueen, Steve McGarrett from Hawaii Five-O and Steve Austin from The Six Million Dollar Man. The Tao of Steve–which proves a very successful approach for sexual conquests–is comprised of three rules: ((1) Be desire-less. If your body language indicates a lack of interest, a woman’s attraction to you will increase. (2)…

Burgers Closed in 2018 Gone But Not Forgotten New Mexico Rating: Excellent Rio Rancho

Toro Burger – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil GardunoNovember 19, 2016March 31, 20265:36 PM

While watching a “sanitized for television” version of the audacious satirical comedy Blazing Saddles, my precocious six-year-old niece asked several questions with deep sociological implications: “Why is everyone in the town of Rock Ridge named Johnson? Why were all the town’s citizens white?” From her silence, you’d think my Kim was a “perp lawyering up” at a police inquiry. Rather than responding herself, she enjoyed seeing my brother and I hem and haw in trying to give accurate and age-appropriate answers. Far easier to answer were Blazing Saddles questions which inspired nostalgic reflection: “Is there a Howard Johnson’s Ice Cream Parlor in Albuquerque? Does Howard Johnson’s really serve only one flavor?” For those of us who grew up in the…

Closed in 2016 Gone But Not Forgotten Mariscos Mexican New Mexico Rio Rancho

Mariscos Mazatlan – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil GardunoJuly 31, 2016July 12, 20185:39 PM

A rotund, ripening, red tomato is featured prominently on license plates issued in the Mexican state of Sinaloa. This is indicative of the state’s prominence in growing the “love apples” from which its rich salsas are made. In 2013, Sinaloa exported nearly one-billion tons of vegetables–primarily tomatoes–across the fruited plain, netting (mostly industrial) farmers nearly one-billion dollars. More than half the tomatoes consumed across the United States during the winter season are, in fact, grown in Sinaloa. While Sinaloan tomatoes are indeed sweet, juicy, meaty and delicious, an argument could easily be made that a more worthy subject for the state’s license plates would be mariscos, the bounty of the sea extricated from the azure waters of the Bay of…

Bar & Grill Closed in 2018 Gone But Not Forgotten Rio Rancho

Fat Squirrel Pub & Grill – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil GardunoFebruary 29, 2016September 5, 201812:32 PM

The quaint names given to English pubs are sometimes nearly as interesting as the reasons for which those names were bestowed. Take for example what is arguably England’s oldest pub, the Trip to Jerusalem. Built into the rock face under Nottingham Castle, the brewhouse has been offering sustenance and sanctuary to weary sojourners since before 1189. The genesis of its name comes from the fact that the inn served as a travel lodge in which crusaders relaxed–no doubt with a pint or eight–before heading off to battle the Saracens in the Holy Land. Thee Fat Squirrel Pub & Grill in Rio Rancho, which launched in 2008, explains the genesis of its name this way: “The name Fat Squirrel comes from…