Category: Chinese

AlbuquerqueChineseClosed in 2020Gone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico

The Birds Paradise Hot Pot – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno9:11 PM

It was 2:15AM on a workday, a full four hours before my dreaded alarm clock was set to utter a tone surpassed for annoyance only by the screechy prattle on The View. Inexplicably my brain decided it was a good idea to play deejay and serenade me with Sukiyaki, the only Japanese pop song ever to top the charts across the fruited plain. Yep, my mind had been invaded by an earworm, a song that sticks with you long after the note is played. Akin to a broken record (millennials may have read about “records” in their history books) scratching the same chords over and over again, earworms can be nostalgic and pleasant or annoying and torturous, especially when they visit in the middle of the night. Compounding this earworm is that the version of Sukiyaki stuck in my head was the Japanese version, not the only with English translations. So instead of repeating lyrics I understand, my mind was trying to replay incomprehensible Japanese phrases. Sukiyaki is not one of those tunes for which “la la la la la” will work. “Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah” works a little better, but it sounds a bit disrespectful. Replaying an…

AlbuquerqueAsianChineseDog FriendlyNational ChainNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)

P.F. Chang’s China Bistro – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno10:41 AM

“Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery – celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “It’s not where you take things from – it’s where you take them to.” ~ Jim Jarmusch American Film Director I discovered that pithy pearl shortly after a recent email exchange with Gil’s thrilling pollmeister (my spellchecker still insists on “poltergeist”) Bob of the Village of Los Ranchos. We were deliberating whether to ask if you believe New Mexico’s talented chefs “invent” new dishes or if the cuisine found across the Land of Enchantment is primarily dishes that have been copied from recipes by chefs in other cities. Rather than declaring “nothing is original” as the only possible answer to the proposed poll question, Jim Jarmusch’s sapient quote prompted even more questions such as: Is adding red or green chile to a non-New Mexican recipe inventing something original? Isn’t any variation to an existing…

AlbuquerqueChineseDim SumRating: Outstanding

Ming Dynasty – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno1:48 AM

The Ming Dynasty (1368-1644) was renowned as one of the greatest periods of governmental and societal stability in the history of mankind. At its peak, the Ming dynasty made China a global superpower, influencing the known world in trade, culture and might. During this dynasty, agriculture developed significantly, dishes became more sophisticated, cookbooks were widely proliferated and noontime banquets became popular. Dishes such as sweet potatoes, corn, potatoes and sorghum were imported into China during this period while such local foods as the infamous “thousand-year egg” were introduced. Before long, history just might recognize the Ming Dynasty restaurant as one of, if not the, greatest Chinese restaurants in Albuquerque. Launched at 11AM on Sunday, April 27th, 2003, it returned our friend, proprietor Minh Tang and his loyal staff to the Duke City dining scene after the dissolution of an unsuccessful partnership that precipitated the closure of the great Beijing Palace. In Ming Dynasty, there’s a lot of addition by subtraction. Minh no longer has a partner to hold him back and he no longer offers a buffet that drew in patrons who didn’t necessarily know or appreciate real Chinese cuisine. Beijing Palace’s buffet was living proof that you shouldn’t judge…

AlbuquerqueChineseClosed in 2025Gone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico

Pop-Up Dumpling House – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 PM

“And her dumplings were so light they would float in the air and you’d have to catch ’em to eat ’em.” ~Author: Fannie Flagg Think you know dumplings? Believe you’ve tried almost every type of dumpling there is? That’s what I thought until discovering a Wikipedia page called “List of dumplings” which essentially opened up a large world of ne’er sampled dumplings. For the glass-is-half-full types among us, this list is a challenge…an opportunity to broaden our dumpling horizons. Alas, such a horizon (and waist) broadening experience will mean crossing many borders. Not surprisingly, not every dumpling type is to be found in the Duke City, although you just might be surprised at just how many types of dumplings you can find within our little slice of heaven on Earth. Your veritable “around the world in fifty dumplings” tour should start at Ming Dynasty where the dim sum menu showcases such Chinese dumpling treasures as crab Rangoon, har gow (shrimp dumplings), shumai (steamed dumplings stuffed with prawns), sausage buns, steamed barbecue pork buns, shrimp stuffed bean curd and several others prepared so authentically and so well you might swear you’re in Hong Kong. For a dumpling tour of Japan you…

AlbuquerqueChineseClosed in 2024Dim SumDog FriendlyGone But Not ForgottenSushi

Amerasia & Sumo Sushi – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:14 AM

Carpe Diem Sum–“seize the dim sum” at AmerAsia, the Alibi’s perennial selection for best dim sum in the city honors (diem sum, as spelled on AmerAsia’s menu is also a correct spelling). Dim sum, a Cantonese word that can be translated to “a little bit of heart,” “point of heart” and “touch the heart” has its genesis in the Chinese tea houses of the Silk Road. Weary sojourners would stop at tea houses for tea and a light snack (ergo, touch the heart). Over time, the popularity of the tasty little treasures offered at these tea houses led to larger restaurants serving dim sum meals until mid-afternoon, after which other Cantonese cuisine was made available. Today, dim sum buffets are a popular offering throughout the United States. Albuquerque’s most venerable practitioner of the traditional culinary art of dim sum is AmerAsia which has been serving Albuquerque since 1978. Though AmerAsia has been around for nearly thirty years, out of blind loyalty to Ming Dynasty we avoided trying it, reasoning there is no way anyone could serve dim sum quite as good as the popular Cantonese restaurant. Thankfully AmerAsia’s diem sum captured the unfettered affections of a Chowhound poster from Phoenix…

ChineseClosed in 2018Gone But Not ForgottenRio Rancho

Tao Chinese Bistro – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno8:23 PM

It’s highly unlikely ancient Chinese philosophers ever intended the concept of Tao to be used as an approach for the serial seduction of women, but that was the premise of the 2000 movie The Tao of Steve. Filmed in the Santa Fe area, this campy romantic comedy centered around a corpulent, underachieving former philosophy student who christened his approach after the somewhat stolid “cool” epitomized by three Steves: Steve McQueen, Steve McGarrett from Hawaii Five-O and Steve Austin from The Six Million Dollar Man. The Tao of Steve–which proves a very successful approach for sexual conquests–is comprised of three rules: ((1) Be desire-less. If your body language indicates a lack of interest, a woman’s attraction to you will increase. (2) Be excellent. Grasp the opportunity to showcase your talents, thereby proving your sexual “worthiness.” (3) Be gone. Leave women wanting more by not overstaying your welcome. For years, the concept of Tao has been and is being demonstrated in ever more creative and unique ways. There was the Tao of Pooh, an introduction to Taoism using the beloved fictional character of Winnie the Pooh. The Tao of Bow Wow taught pet owners how to better communicate with and relate to…

AlbuquerqueChinese

ABC Chinese Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno4:03 PM

NOTE:  The site which housed ABC Chinese for nearly four decades is now the home of ABC Cajun Seafood & Noodle House. Hungry sojourners venturing east on Menaul between Wyoming and Eubank will discover two of the dining options on this stretch are among Albuquerque’s elder statesmen in the Duke City’s Chinese restaurant community. You’ll first espy Ho Lo Ma, a venerable institution launched in 1972 and well on its way to a half-century of serving the Duke City. A couple blocks later lies a comparative newcomer named ABC Chinese which has been in business only since 1988. Both restaurants are anachronisms with many of the stereotypical trappings that typified Chinese restaurants in the 1960s and ’70s. Though showing their age, both have legions of devotees. Both also have their vocal detractors. Among the latter are a persnickety bunch who can’t get past the timeworn ambiance at ABC Chinese. Read their comments on Yelp and TripAdvisor and some commenters would have you believe you’ll be dining in the restaurant equivalent of Oscar Madison’s bedroom. On the same crowd-sourced review sites, you’ll read glowing praise from diners whose sole focus is the menu, its authenticity, variety and the deliciousness of the…

AlbuquerqueAsianChineseClosed in 2020Gone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico

China City – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno8:53 PM

The Claw: Actually the only girl we want is Princess Ingrid. Maxwell Smart: Then why did you abduct the others? The Claw: Unfortunately, Mr. Smart, all Americans look alike to us. ~Get Smart Leave it to iconic filmmaker Mel Brooks to turn cultural stereotypes around to create a hilarious interchange between The Claw, the head of the Asian arm of the criminal spy agency KAOS, and Smart, the bumbling American secret agent who fights on behalf of the forces of goodness and niceness. Many of us who followed Twitter commentary after the United Sates Women’s National Soccer team played to a draw against North Korea shrank with embarrassment at comments which evinced the fact that there are still people who subscribe to ill-founded stereotype that all Asians look alike. If there’s a more innocuous and less offensive concession that can be made, it’s that most Chinese restaurants in Albuquerque do look alike in much the same way so many “red sauce” Italian restaurants of the 1960s looked alike. That’s a point even the most politically correct among us will concede. You’ll arrive at that conclusion about Chinese restaurants if ever you’re driving the city streets looking for a new place…

AlbuquerqueBurgersChineseNew Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail: 2009New Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail: 2011Rating: Good

Lucky Boy – Albuquerque, New Mexican

Gil Garduno1:03 AM

During its seventh season, the X Files television series in which FBI agents investigated paranormal phenomena featured an episode in which a ravenous Lucky Boy employee in California struggled against his craving for human brain matter (almost anything goes in the Golden state). The most paranormal thing about the Duke City Lucky Boy is its “east meets west” dining concept. Nowhere else in town can you order Chinese and American food so inexpensively and from the very same menu. If you think about it, ordering inexpensive Chinese and American food from within one menu shouldn’t be such an anomalous event–especially when you consider that many of Lucky Boy’s patrons are UNM students, many of whom know how to stretch a buck. It’s not just UNM students who patronize this hole-in-the-wall. You might just as soon find faculty and staff also indulging in inexpensive (but good) food. Lucky Boy is a quintessential American mom and pop diner tended lovingly by Chinese proprietors named Suzy and Ron who know what many of their customers are going to order as soon as they walk in. You’ll do a second-take the first time you see a steaming wok preparing noodles next to the sizzling…

AlbuquerqueChineseRating: Good

Chin Shan Chinese Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno9:27 PM

According to the trade magazine Chinese Restaurant News, as of January, 2007, there were 43,139 Chinese restaurants in the United States. That’s three times the number of McDonalds franchise units and more than the total number of McDonalds, Burger King and Wendy’s in America combined. More than 80 percent are family-owned with nation-wide chains such as Panda Express and PF Chang’s accounting for only five percent of all Chinese restaurants across the fruited plain. Raking in nearly $17 billion in annual sales, Chinese restaurants are nearly on a profitability par with the behemoth burger chain, too. Until recent years, many (if not most) Chinese restaurants specialized in inexpensive all-you-can-eat buffets, most of dubitable quality. Today, buffets are the bailiwick of behemoth supermarket-sized Chinese restaurants, some of which can accommodate hundreds of hungry patrons. Chinese buffet restaurants remain very popular, perhaps as much because of economic considerations as for their prolific portions. Prodigious portions do not, however, transformative meals make. Few, if any, people who frequent Chinese buffets will admit to visiting because the food is so good it’s memorable. Urbanspoon shows there are nearly 100 Chinese restaurants (or Asian fusion restaurants featuring Chinese food) in the Duke City. Only a…

AlbuquerqueChineseRating: N/R (Not Rated)

Yummi House – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno9:01 PM

Years ago, I had the misfortune of working with a technical writer who couldn’t spell his way out of a paper bag.  His punctuation was pathetic, his vocabulary vacuous and his writing peppered with malapropisms (the incorrect use of a word by substituting a similar-sounding word with a different meaning).  Some comedians have made an art out of malapropisms, but there wasn’t anything funny about this terrible technical writer.  How he passed English classes at a state school which will remain nameless, much less become a technical writer, is beyond me.  Fortunately it didn’t take our employer long to realize the right thing to do about that writer was to let him go. In mock tribute to our departed former colleague, my friend Ken VanLyssel and I designated an office bulletin the “Don Cruize” (in his honor, his name is misspelled) bulletin board.  Every time we came across slaughtered syntax, shoddy spelling or any grammatical faux pas, we would tack it to that board.  Many of our contributions were courtesy of menus from Albuquerque’s Chinese restaurants.  Chinese restaurant menus, in general, are notorious for grievous grammar and are frequent fodder for Jay Leno’s Headlines segment.  We wondered if some of…