Nana’s Trattoria & Pizzeria – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

What’sa matta you, hey! Gotta no respect, whatta you think you do, Why you looka so sad? It’s-a pretty bad, it’s-a not-a nice-a place, Ah, shaddap you face! Joe Dolce will just have to forgive me for the liberties I took with the lyrics to his worldwide 1980 number one song Shaddap You Face. Slightly altered, those lyrics express my sentiments when the airwaves are polluted with saccharinely mushy, accordion accented commercials for Italian chain restaurants–commercials like the one in which a small lad escorts his elderly uncle from Italy to Olive Garden for a birthday dinner. You can almost imagine the dumbfounded, aged paisano muttering “stunad” under his breath as he chokes down pasta and longs for the return trip home. Sadly, when Albuquerque’s citizenry thinks Italian food nowadays, they think the Olive Garden, Buca di Beppo, Zio’s Italian Kitchen, Johnny Carino’s and even Pizza Hut. The promise of Italian ethnicity–even the inauthentic parody pitifully proffered by the chain restaurants–remains a marketable concept that draws hungry hordes. Albuquerque, like much of America, has settled for a parade of institutionalized pre-cooked, frozen-shipped Italian food mediocrity. Thousands of the Italian emigrants who were processed through Ellis Island must be gesticulating wildly…

Honnell’s Late Nite Burger – Santa Fe, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“America’s celebrity psychologist” Dr. Phil McGraw posits that how you interact with your partner in the first four minutes can set the tone for the day.  Those first and most crucial 240 seconds of each and every day can, in essence, dictate your entire mood and, in the long run, either keep your relationship intact or destroy it.  I’d add that even the first four minutes of your workday can have a profound impact on the rest of your day. If the first person with whom you interact is what Dilbert creator Scott Adams would describe as an “office vampire” your entire day will be impacted.  Office vampires are those people from whom a cheery “good morning” greeting will elicit a “what’s good about it” retort. They embody the axiom that misery loves company and are generally avoided like the plague.  Restaurants don’t have 240 seconds to set the tone for their patrons’ dining experiences. It’s been my experience that restaurants have about ten seconds to set the tone for your entire experience.  Restaurants have their own versions of the office vampire. These are generally the greeters whose chief (maybe sole) responsibility is to welcome diners and escort them to…

The Hamilton Chop House – Durango, Colorado (CLOSED)

The Land of Enchantment with its 121,356 square miles of deserts, mesas, rivers, mountains, forests, cities and villages is the fifth largest state in the country.  In 2007, Albuquerque’s KOAT television station began a recurring series in which the station treated its viewers to an aerial perspective of many of the communities in its viewing area.  That unique bird’s eye view perspective was captured from Sky 7, the station’s news helicopter. In 2008, the station expanded its coverage, sending news anchor and New Mexico native Royale Dá skyward once again to show viewers the challenges faced by the communities featured on the series and how they are dealing with those challenges.  Royale was joined by city leaders from throughout the viewing area who boarded Sky 7 to share what makes their communities so special. One of the few cities visited in 2008 outside of New Mexico’s borders was Durango, Colorado, long a part of KOAT’s viewing area.  During the aerial tour of the city, Durango’s Director of Planning and Community Development Greg Hoch indicated that Durango actually has more restaurants per capita than the city of San Francisco. With a population of nearly 750,000 people, the city of San Francisco numbers just about 2,700 restaurants within its boundaries, giving…

The Paradise Grill – Las Vegas, Nevada (CLOSED)

Americans spent several billion dollars a year on products touting their ability to provide fresh breath.  Ultrabrite toothpaste promises to “give your mouth sex appeal” while Colgate’s Oxygen toothpaste’s slogan is “Pure, Fresh, Clean.”  Fresh breath is so important to our culture that we even insist our pets have it. Milk Bone Dog Biscuits pledge to “freshen breath naturally” so of course, we buy that product in bulk for our four-legged children. Fresh breath, it seems, translates (at least on humans) to a “cool, minty sensation with no mediciny taste” if commercials are to be believed. It’s unlikely dogs would appreciate having minty breath, preferring instead something smelling with the aroma of rotted carcass.  So why this digression into the emphasis our culture places on fresh breath when this is supposed to be a review of a Peruvian restaurant in Las Vegas, Nevada. The answer can be found in one word–ceviche. The ceviche at the Paradise Grill is so fresh and invigorating that it will impart upon your mouth, a sensation of freshness that may last for hours. I’ve had ceviche on three continents and it has varied in quality and memorability. None has impressed itself on my taste buds…

Barb’s Place – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven. – Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 These lyrical words from the King James version of the Holy Bible have been attributed to the most sagacious of Jewish monarchs, King Solomon. They have been recited, sung and published in numerous prayers, songs and books. The words posit that there is a time and place for all things–even cumin. I’ve been accused of making my Web site a bully pulpit against cumin (more than once referred to on my site as “the accursed despoiler of New Mexican chile.”) Perhaps it’s true that I’ve been a bit tough on cumin, a pungent spice with a distinctive salty-sweet flavor, but my rail against that spice is solely where New Mexican food (red chile in particular) is concerned. Cumin is one of the most frequently used spices in Indian food, gracing many a wonderful Indian curry dish. In combination with other sublime Indian spices, its redolence is smoky, maybe even musky, and always evocative. Why then my contempt for cumin on chile? It’s simple! Red chile needs absolutely no amelioration. Unadulterated, it is absolute perfection just as nature intended. Cumin tends to give chile…

Chef Jim White’s Cafe & Catering – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Long before the Food Network made chefs legitimate on-air celebrity icons, Albuquerque had its own larger-than-life, media-savvy celebrity chef who, it seemed, spent almost as much time on the airwaves as behind the stove. Chef Jim White was a peripatetic presence on television where he hosted short cooking segments on two Duke City television news programs in addition to having a three-minute format airing in a San Diego station. He also wrote a highly-regarded food column for the Albuquerque Journal. So well known was (and is) Chef Jim White that in Albuquerque his name is always prefaced with his title, “Chef.” In society, only doctors and professors seem to earn that level of respect and in Hollywood, the celebrity equivalent might be being known by first name (i.e., Oprah, Beyonce). Chef Jim White was everywhere. He had the energy, enthusiasm and credentials (graduating no less than at the top of his class at the Culinary Institute of America) to carry off bona fide celebrity. He also had an endearing effusive personality that engendered genuine affection among many loyal patrons. From 1999 until July, 2005, the indefatigable chef also owned Casa Vieja, a venerable Corrales restaurant. At Casa Vieja he popularized…

Lamy Station Cafe – Lamy, New Mexico (CLOSED)

History might best be defined as the interaction of people with one another and with their environments. Often those environments and the people indigenous to them are hardened by conditions and circumstances. Fewer than 200 years ago, French and American traders endured tremendous hardship and peril on the route that came to be known as the Santa Fe Trail which connected New Mexico’s capital with the United States. Large wagon trains ferried much coveted United States merchandise from Independence, Missouri to Santa Fe, earning enormous profits in the process. Trade was made easier in the 1880s with the introduction of the famous Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe (ATSF) railroad. Interestingly (and despite its name), the ATSF never quite reached Santa Fe. Its tracks followed the Santa Fe Trail but because of the steep grades of the hills surrounding Santa Fe, it was left off the main line and the railroad was built instead through Lamy. Santa Fe was connected later by an eighteen-mile spur line from Lamy. Lamy, named for Archbishop Jean-Baptiste Lamy, educator, missionary and the first archbishop of the American territorial period, is still very much a train town. The Amtrak system still runs trails daily in each…

Japengo Sushi – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

The Chinese philosophy of yin and yang posits a dualistic universe in which both sides of opposite forces are each part of a whole and work together. Examples include good and bad, male and female, light and dark and positive and negative. These opposing forces are equal and necessary for harmony. A dualistic nature is what we uncovered at Japengo Sushi–in this case the opposites being truly sensational, saucy salads and sushi sadly at the level of mediocrity. Launched in August, 2004, Japengo is one of the very best restaurants on what has become restaurant row just off I-25–despite the sushi. Its proximity to the Century Rio 24 movie theater has made it a popular dining destination among movie goers. The quality and freshness of ingredients will make it a destination to which I’ll return. Japengo might best be categorized as contemporary Japanese with a slight fusion Asian twist. Its relatively minimalist decor is modern, almost industrial. The wait staff is courteous and professional. The menu includes an array of traditional Japanese entrees (such as noodle bowls topped with tempura or chicken) as well as dishes which push the envelope insofar as tradition. Plating is pleasing to the eye and…

JB’s Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

The first thing that comes to mind when someone invites me to a buffet is a paragraph from E. B. White’s 1952 classic Charlotte Web.  In that paragraph, an old sheep describes the county fair to Templeton the lovingly irascible rat: “A fair is a rat’s paradise. Everybody spills food at a fair. A rat can creep out late at night and have a feast. In the horse barn you will find oats that the trotters and pacers have spilled. In the trampled grass of the infield you will find old discarded lunch boxes containing the foul remains of peanut butter sandwiches, hard-boiled eggs, cracker crumbs, bits of doughnuts, and particles of cheese. In the hard-packed dirt of the midway, after the glaring lights are out and the people have gone home to bed, you will find a veritable treasure of popcorn fragments, frozen custard dribblings, candied apples abandoned by tired children, sugar fluff crystals, salted almonds, popsicles, partially gnawed ice cream cones, and the wooden sticks of lollypops. Everywhere is loot for a rat–in tents, in booths, in hay lofts–why, a fair has enough disgusting leftover food to satisfy a whole army of rats.” I don’t know of any…

Buckingham Smokehouse Bar-B-Q – Las Vegas, Nevada (CLOSED)

Las Vegas has established itself as one of America’s, if not the world’s, preeminent dining destinations. Many of the world’s most famous and successful chefs have launched flamboyant restaurants that celebrate their self-aggrandizing greatness in magnificent pantheons of gustatory grandeur. Fortunately for true gastronomes who don’t worship exclusively at the tables of gastronomic glitterati, Las Vegas has also attracted its share of chefs with whom those of us of the common clay can identify–chefs who didn’t refine their skills at a snooty culinary institute but in the backyard on the family grill. With a recent influx of pit masters migrating to Las Vegas from America’s heartlands, Sin City may someday compete with Memphis, Kansas City, Texas and South Carolina as a bastion of barbecue. Witness: Mike “The Legend” Mills, a four-time world champion at “Memphis in May,” the most prestigious barbecue competition in the world chose Las Vegas as the site of his four Memphis Championship Barbecue restaurants. In recent years his restaurant has been a mainstay on the annual “Best of Las Vegas” awards. It’s been said that when it comes to Texas barbecue, all roads lead to the award-winning Salt Lick Barbecue restaurant in the tiny backwater town…

Chinois – Las Vegas, Nevada (CLOSED)

It’s been well established that world-famous chef and restaurant impresario Wolfgang Puck can talk the talk. Chinois, a critically acclaimed fine-dining fusion restaurant located in Santa Monica, California is, in the estimation of many, proof that he can also “walk the wok.” So successful was his original Asian and French influenced fusion restaurant that he launched a branch within the confines of the people watching Mecca of the Forum shops at Caesar’s. Prior to visiting Chinois, I read several reviews in which fulsome praise was lavished on the über celebrity chef’s Asian masterpiece. I’ve been accused of hyperbole, but compared to what I read about Chinois, my favorable reviews are understated. One reviewer proclaimed Chinois as “quite possibly the best restaurant in Vegas” while another described the menu as “a banquet of creative and flavorful tastes from beginning to end.” Some reviewers were even more profuse in their praise. After reading several diatribes of effusive burble, my expectations were sky-high. Those expectations were hardly dashed when I arrived too early for a sushi bar one critic described as “super fresh.” Studying the lunch menu delivered the promise of an exciting meal even sans sushi–even though the menu listed fewer than…