Relish Gourmet Sandwiches – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Steve Jobs, Eddie Murphy, Jessie Jackson, entire NBA rosters.  Often missing from scandal sheets outing male celebrities who have fathered love children is the name of one Dagwood Bumstead.  From all outward appearances, Bumstead is an average white collar employee and loving family man with a penchant for taking naps, luxuriating in a bubble bath and constructing and consuming tall, multi-layered, poly-ingredient sandwiches of gravity defying height topped with an olive on a toothpick.  Appearances can be deceiving.  You’re reading it here first.  Dagwood Bumstead’s illegitimate son is (brace yourself) Norville “Shaggy” Rogers, a lanky would-be hipster who always seems to have the munchies.  Shaggy is a nimble contortionist with a penchant for hiding (cowering) in impossibly small…

The Range – Bernalillo, New Mexico

The phoenix of ancient Egyptian mythology was a sacred firebird of beautiful red and gold plumage said to live for centuries. At the end of its life, the phoenix built itself a nest of cinnamon twigs which it then ignited. Both the phoenix and the nest burned fiercely and were reduced to ashes from which a new phoenix arose. Similarly, the Range Cafe in Bernalillo was claimed by a fiery conflagration only to rise up from the ashes to exceed its former glory to become one of the most popular restaurants in New Mexico. Like the phoenix, the Range is a rare breed–one of the few locally owned and operated (non-chain) restaurants which at any given time (make that, almost…

Culinary Dropout – Scottsdale, Arizona

With a name like Culinary Dropout, you might expect an edgy and provocative venue, something hip and trendy where all the beautiful blonde  women of Scottsdale come to mix with bad boys.  That expectation might be reenforced by Old Town Scottsdale website which describes Culinary Dropout:  “From the chefs on the line with silver-studded ears and Mohawk hairdo, to the inked-up, decked-out bar staff mixologists shaking and stirring some of the most creative cocktails, we’re all dropouts here.”  Instead, we found a rather innocuous vibe, akin to maybe Chili’s on a slightly rowdy day.   Most of the diners were coupled, some ferrying toddlers carrying the gene code that will propagate beautiful blondes.  Others strode in with pampered pooches in strollers…

The Flying Star – Albuquerque, New Mexico

In the ancient Chinese art and science of Feng Shui, flying stars are used to assess the quality of the energy flow (qi) in a given place at a given time. The positive and negative auras of a building are charted using precise mathematical formulas to determine the wealth, academic, career, success, relationships and health of a building’s inhabitant. By understanding the course of harmful and beneficial flying stars, appropriate Feng Shui cures can be employed to mitigate the effects of those harmful stars while enhancing the positive effects of the beneficial stars. While owners Jean and Mark Bernstein may not have renamed their successful local restaurant chain for the Feng Shui principles of flying stars, there’s no denying the…

Roy’s Restaurant – Phoenix, Arizona

“Viejo El Viento,” one of my favorite songs during my youth in Peñasco asked “como vas a comparar el original con la copia?,” essentially how can you compare the original with a copy.  As our Christmas visit to Roy’s at the JW Mariott in Phoenix proved, sometimes the “copy” is so good that it becomes a life quest to see if the original matches up and sometimes there’s so little difference between the original and the copy that only the most discerning palate can tell the difference.  It appears a “backstory” is in order. In 2013, the featured special at the magnificent Blades’ Bistro in Placitas was black cod with a miso glaze, a dish Chef Kevin Bladergroen was taught to prepare by…

Nick & Jimmy’s Bar & Grill – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Legendary American chef, author and television personality Julia Child was often exasperated with what she perceived as American’s propensity for culinary laziness, once commenting that “the trend in the U.S.A. was toward speed and the elimination of work.” “Americans,” she noted, equated as “gourmet” such “horrible glop” as “TV dinners, frozen vegetables, canned mushrooms, fish sticks, Jell-O salads, marshmallows and spray-can whipped cream.“ Julia Child obviously didn’t know Dave Hurayt, a good friend and fellow gastronome who’s shared some wonderful recipes with me. While Dave may not have spent two years and nearly 300 pounds of flour attempting to bake the perfect loaf of French bread as Julia Child once did, he experiments painstakingly with the recipes he creates, laboring…

D. H. Lescombes Winery & Bistro – Albuquerque, New Mexico

There are varying accounts as to the genesis of wine-making in the United States. While it is widely acknowledged that as early as the 1500s Spanish and French Huguenot settlers in Florida began making wine with a native grape known as muscadine, efforts to plant the classic grapes used to create the great wines of Europe failed because of pests prevalent in wet climates. It wasn’t until Spanish Missionaries discovered the dry climate of New Mexico in 1629 with its sandy soils that the first European Mission grapes brought over from Spain were planted in what is now the United States.  The original grape stocks supposedly remain the source of many of New Mexico’s vinters to this day. Sources relates that…

Indian Pueblo Kitchen – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Pedro de Castaneda, a Spanish explorer who chronicled Coronado’s expeditions through the southwest from 1540 to 1542 observed that corn, beans, and squash were the main staples of the pueblo diet. Of the three, which have come to be known as “Three Sisters,” corn was the most important. It was boiled whole, toasted on the cob, or dried and ground into a fine powder easily cooked as bread or gruel.  Every day female family members knelt before metates (grinding stones), grinding corn to feed their gods, fetishes and kin. One crushed the maize, the next ground it and the third ground it even finer. Castaneda observed that the women worked joyfully at this task.  The three sisters of corn, beans…

Cafe Lush – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Urban Dictionary, that oft hilarious, veritable cornucopia of slang, jargon and streetwise lingo, defines “lush” as “someone who drinks a lot.” (Actually, there are several pages of similar definitions for “lush” in the “peoples’ dictionary,” but this one was the best fit for this PG-rated blog.) When I asked Sandy Gregory, a self-admitted “food industry lifer” and co-owner of Albuquerque’s Cafe Lush why the name Lush, she laughingly kidded “because we like to drink a lot.” Seeing that her response left my mouth agape, she winked and corrected herself, “because our food is luscious.” You’ve got to love a restaurant owner with whom you can engage in witty repartee. At Cafe Lush, you’ve got two of them. Sandy’s husband and…

C3’s Bistro – Corrales, New Mexico (CLOSED)

FROM 3C’s BISTRO’S FACEBOOK PAGE: We regret to announce our final closing. We fought hard and we appreciate all of you who came alongside us. February 5th will be our last day serving from 9am-6pm. A case could be made that “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood,” the name of a 1977 hit by Santa Esmeralda, could well be a lament about New Mexican cuisine (in addition to being the background music during the classic sword fight between Uma Thurman and Lucy Liu in Kill Bill I).  As frequently chronicled on Red or Green: New Mexico’s Food Scene is on Fire, national print, online and onscreen media continue to refer to the Land of Enchantment’s sacrosanct cuisine as “Mexican food.”  The…

Flamez Bistro – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Hold the pickles Hold the lettuce Special orders don’t upset us All we ask is that you let us serve it your way In 1974, Burger King introduced its most successful and long-standing advertising campaign, the heart of which was “Have It Your Way,” a catchy jingle designed to contrast just how flexible Burger King is compared to its largest competitor, the ubiquitous McDonalds. The earworm-inspiring jingle told us we could have burgers made especially for us—tailor-made, customized, prepared any way we want them. It implied that unlike its rigid and inflexible competitor, Burger King recognizes our uniqueness and they celebrate it with burgers that reflect our individuality, lifestyles and dietary considerations. There are, Burger King tells us, 221,184 ways…