Pig + Fig Cafe – White Rock, New Mexico

In its eighth season, the brilliant sitcom Seinfeld helped introduce casual comic book fans to the concept of Bizarro world, a setting which is weirdly inverted or opposite of expectations. In other words, a Bizarro world is a mirror image of conventionality, logic and reality, everything being reversed. Jerry Seinfeld’s polar opposite Kevin, for example, was depicted as kind, selfless and reliable in contrast to Jerry’s indifference, self-absorption and forgetfulness. Gene was quiet, studious, polite and giving while his Bizarro counterpart George was loud, obnoxious, cheap and slovenly. Some people believe there’s a polar opposite—a Bizarro version—of every one of us. I met “Bizarro Gil” while stationed at Keesler Air Force Base in Biloxi, Mississippi. While I (all modesty aside) consider myself a bit of a renaissance man, Derwin was atavistic, a throwback to the days of Ralph Kramden when men were short-tempered, disparaging and chauvinistic. He couldn’t understand why I would take my Kim out for dinner so often when there we had a perfectly good stove at home. It galled him that Kim often picked where we’d eat. His retort to that grievous affront was “The last time women decided what to eat, they doomed humanity for eternity,”…

Bacon Jam – Cedar Crest, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“I think we love bacon because it has all the qualities of an amazing sensory experience. When we cook it, the sizzling sound is so appetizing, the aroma is maddening, the crunch of the texture is so gratifying and the taste delivers every time.” ~Alex Guarnaschelli NOTE: On July 31, 2020, the original Bacon Jam in Albuquerque closed its doors, but the Bacon Jam in Cedar Crest remains open.  While this review is based on visits to the Albuquerque location, I’m confident the Cedar Crest location will serve the same high quality food with the outstanding service we experienced every visit. With all due respect to the Iron Chef, we love bacon because we’re genetically disposed to love bacon!  It’s in our DNA.  We’re hard-wired to love bacon!  In much the same way the brain releases endorphins when we enjoy intensely piquant New Mexico raised chile, bacon’s savory flavor elicits a highly addictive response on our neurochemicals.  In a 2009 article, journalist-editor Arun Gupta of The Indypendent newspaper in New York, revealed that while bacon has eighteen ingredients, six of them are a type of umami, a Japanese term loosely translated to “deliciousness.”  Foods with umami have a meaty, savory…

Abq Grill n Que – Albuquerque, New Mexico

6 October 2020: From the Abq Grill n Que Facebook page – These unique times have forced us to make the very difficult decision to shut down our operations for the foreseeable future. We did not make this decision lightly, and it’s in the best interest of our family and our company’s future.  We will be using the next few months to evaluate our options, as well as augment our business so that we can offer some of our products in alternative ways. Please keep up with our website and social media for more information. “Low and slow.”  That’s not usually a term ascribed to the picturesque village of Corrales, New Mexico.  Well, at least not the “Low” part of the term.  “Slow,” however, is a way of life in Corrales.  Drive through the village at virtually any time of day or night and you can expect to go five, ten and even fifteen miles below the posted speed limit.  Driving through his hometown is the bane of my friend Sr. Plata’s existence.  He assures me the citizenry aren’t cowed by the police; they drive slow to take in all the sights.  Okay, that’s understandable, but not when Abq Grill…

Cornerstone Bakery & Cafe – Ruidoso, New Mexico

Texas, the Lone Star State slogan tells us, is “like a whole other country.”  Everywhere we turned during our weekend in Ruidoso, we espied oversized pickup trucks sporting Texas license plates.  It almost made us wonder if the “village of the noisy river” had been annexed into that whole other country.  The trend continued at the unholy hour of 8AM on a cool Sunday morning when the license plate for almost every vehicle in The Cornerstone Bakery & Cafe’s parking lot flaunted the familiar “Lone Star State” logo.   Ironically, when we had asked where locals went for breakfast, the answer was almost invariably The Cornerstone Bakery & Cafe. Lest you think I may be a bit xenophobic or paranoid about Texas,  nothing can be further from the truth.  Being around Texans is an opportunity to discuss two of my favorite things in the world–the Dallas Cowboys and Texas barbecue.  Not surprisingly, diners at two of the socially distanced tables under the large tent where we dined were happy to oblige.  In addition to discussing our mutual passions, we discussed the attraction of Ruidoso to denizens of Dallas, Denton, Dalhart and other Texas cities.  “There’s nothing like Ruidoso anywhere in…

Oso Grill – Capitan, New Mexico

When we pulled up to the order window at the Oso Grill’s drive-through lane, Misty, our sweet server handed us a menu and contritely explained that the restaurant had run out of shrimp.  “Why,” I asked “would anyone visit the Oso Grill for shrimp when they can have one of the very best green chile cheeseburgers in the Land of Enchantment.”  With apologies to Smokey Bear, that green chile cheeseburger is the reason many of us drive to Capitan, New Mexico.  Since, however, most New Mexicans consider Smokey one of our state’s upstanding citizens, we can enjoy a fantastic burger at Oso Grill then cross the street to pay our respects to the living symbol of fire protection.  Smokey is buried in the Smokey Bear Historical Park about one-tenth of a mile from the Oso Grill. The Oso Grill might have remained one of those secrets only denizens of the Lincoln county area know about.  Then came an invitation in 2017 from the New Mexico State Fair soliciting “ten established (brick and mortar) restaurants” to participate its annual New Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Challenge which “pits restaurant against restaurant to vie for the prestigious title of “green chile cheeseburger champion.” …

Tia Betty Blue’s – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Tia Betty.  If the name conjures images of a dowdy old woman, a face etched with wrinkles and thinning grey hair pulled back neatly into a bun, you’re probably not alone.  Not even the youthfully ribald nonagenarian Betty White can alter the contemporary stereotypes ascribed to the increasingly anachronistic name Betty.  It wasn’t always the case.  In fact, there was a time  Betty was one of the most popular girl’s name in America and not just as a diminutive of Elizabeth or Bethany. According to the Social Security Administration, Betty was the fourth most popular girl’s name in the 1920s with more than 283,000 babies so christened.  Betty was an even more popular name in the 1930s when it ranked second among all girl’s names and was given to more than 300,000 infant girls.  The name declined in popularity in successive decades–from 11th in the 1940s, 35th in the 1950s,  102nd in the 1960s–before dropping from among the 200 most popular girl’s names cataloged by the federal government. There was also a time the name Betty conveyed images of voluptuous sexiness, especially on the big screen (though not even animated features were exempt).  The most enduring sex symbol of the…

Steam Q – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“I don’t know why men like to barbecue so much. Maybe its the only thing they can cook. Or maybe they’re just closet pyromaniacs.” ~Cecelia Ahern, P.S. I Love You >Whether or not the dubious and persistent stereotype about men and their grills has any veracity is a topic oft debated.  It’s been discussed anecdotally and it’s been analyzed scientifically.  In a 2010 article for Forbes, Meghan Casserly explained why men love grilling: “Grilling is sort of dangerous (there’s fire!), it lets dudes hang out together while also providing some sort of neutral entertainment (getting to watch one guy do stuff and possibly also criticizing him while he does it), and requires minimal cleaning (self-explanatory).” >In his 1993 essay “Why Do Men Barbecue?,” an article more about gender roles than about meat, anthropologist Richard Shweder expounded on the origins of male and female spaces in different cultures.  He posited that contemporary men and women throughout urban America don’t consider themselves tied to traditional gender roles.  So, where the men among our troglodytic ancestors brought home the mastadon for women to prepare (and bring them a beer or six), today’s men are just as likely to prepare the daily bread with…

Triple B’s Bar-B-Que Burgers & Burritos – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Archaeologists in Spain claim to have unearthed the original man cave. What is most remarkable about this finding is how very similar Neanderthal man and contemporary man are. Men, it could be said, have not evolved much. Neanderthals were hairy and brutish in appearance, very much like the New York Giants and Philadelphia Eagles. They spoke in guttural grunts, similar to today’s politicians. Neanderthals scrawled their art on cave walls; contemporary man expresses himself artistically on bridges, underpasses and walls. Neanderthal man used tools: hammers, clubs and axes; contemporary man uses tools: television remote controls, joy sticks and iPhones. Cultural anthropologists (and Barbara Streisand) have long posited that throughout evolutionary history, man has had an inherent need for belonging to a social group. We are driven to form and maintain at least a few lasting, positive and significant interpersonal relationships. For many men, the two most powerful bonding agents are sports and what we like to call “barbecue” even though what we’re doing is “grilling.” We derive a sense of belonging through our affiliation with the sports teams we like–to the extent that we wear team apparel which encases us like engorged sausages. We like to get together to cheer…

The Shop Breakfast & Lunch – Albuquerque, New Mexico

In the 60s and early 70s, movies and television programs would have you believe all spies were hard-drinking, fast-driving, woman-chasing playboys as good with their fists as they were with a gun. They were worldly, sophisticated and charming, but could just as easily use guile and deception to get the job done. Bob Ayers, who worked in intelligence for 30 years in the U.S. Army and Defense Intelligence Agency counters those stereotypes: “All of that stuff about James Bond, that’s Hollywood. You don’t want anyone standing out in the intelligence business. You want someone nondescript. The ideal spy is 5-foot-6 and kind of dumpy.” That ideal—nondescript and dumpy—just wouldn’t work in the restaurant business…or would it? Restaurants, especially those which are generously bankrolled by corporate megaliths, tend to have a lot of cash, flash and panache to create the illusion of glamor and allure which brings in customers (and most of us are easily entertained). In addition to all the pristine veneer and effusive, over-the-top flamboyance money can buy, these restaurants tend to have catchy, memorable names which help in the establishment and proliferation of brand identity. They’re capacious, swanky, memorable and largely successful. Anyone who thinks this formulaic approach…

Greg’s BBQ – Belen, New Mexico

On our journey to together forever, my Kim and I have shared meals at thousands of restaurants.  Even when we haven’t enjoyed those meals, without exception we’ve enjoyed our times together.  We share everything…almost.  Maybe the only thing we don’t completely share is the extent, breadth and depth of my passion for food.  You probably won’t believe this, but I’m one of those “live to eat” types who’s certifiably obsessed with food–to the point of looking forward my next culinary adventure before my current meal is even done.  I self gloss as a gastronome, but foodie, gourmand or bon viveur fit, too. In describing my Kim as “insouciant” about food, my thoughts immediately wandered to souffles and sous, two food-related words that sort of rhyme with insouciant.  Talk about being hung-up.  Some of my friends and frequent dining companions would also describe themselves as foodies, but their behavior belies that contention.  Perhaps because of the rarity with which I break bread with someone as preoccupied with the enjoyment of food, fate decreed that the brilliant Linda Johansen would become my boss.  Like me, Linda is a certified Kansas City Barbecue Society (KCBS) judge.  She’s also served several times as judge…

Albuquerque City Limits – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“It’s when I reach the city limits that my sense of security ends and my sense of adventure begins.” ~Anthony T. Hincks Author: Verbs in Storyland Why is it the term “city limits” conjures the same type of trepidation today that very early (before the Third Century BC) explorers must have felt when they thought the Earth was flat and if they navigated too far west, they’d fall off the edge of the map?   Why is it Hollywood has consistently portrayed the area just beyond city limits as either a dystopian wasteland or a bastion of lawless libertinage?  For that matter, why do so many “inner city” Duke City dwellers believe the city limits is too far a distance to travel for a good meal? Think I’m kidding?  When I told friends and colleagues about having discovered one of the state’s very best green chile cheeseburgers in the South Valley, their typical reactions were “only you would go that far for a burger” and “why didn’t you just go a little further and eat at The Owl.”   You’d think I had trekked to South America, not the South Valley.  You’d think I had risked life and limb.  Perhaps the South Valley…