Bellagio Buffet – Las Vegas, Nevada

Comparing the Bellagio Buffet to the buffets proffered at other casino hotels isn’t quite akin to comparing a Bacchanalian festival to a swinish feeding troth, but it might be close.  That’s because the difference in quality between the Bellagio Buffet and its nearest competitor is several degrees of magnitude. It’s the one buffet in Vegas in which you might actually see the gentrified and the affluent condescend to mingle with the rabble.  It’s also the one buffet in which some of the patrons don’t look like they parked their hay wagons in front of the casino and walked in. Being the very best, the Bellagio Buffet seemingly brings out the best behavior among its dining patrons who at other casinos…

Chef Jim White’s Cafe & Catering – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Long before the Food Network made chefs legitimate on-air celebrity icons, Albuquerque had its own larger-than-life, media-savvy celebrity chef who, it seemed, spent almost as much time on the airwaves as behind the stove. Chef Jim White was a peripatetic presence on television where he hosted short cooking segments on two Duke City television news programs in addition to having a three-minute format airing in a San Diego station. He also wrote a highly-regarded food column for the Albuquerque Journal. So well known was (and is) Chef Jim White that in Albuquerque his name is always prefaced with his title, “Chef.” In society, only doctors and professors seem to earn that level of respect and in Hollywood, the celebrity equivalent…

Painted Horse Coffeehouse – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

In the summer of 2000, prominent artists throughout the Southwest resoundingly answered the call to submit their design ideas for painting on an unconventional medium–a horse cast in a durable resin blend. This particular canvas was chosen to commemorate the introduction to North America of the horse. More than five centuries ago, Spanish Conquistadores explored New Mexico astride the noble beast. The painted ponies were intended to promote artistic excellence and for about a year, the “trail of painted ponies” led art aficionados to various galleries throughout the state where the equine masterpieces were on display. In the fall of 2001, the ponies were sold and garnered over half a million dollars for altruistic causes.Fast forward to March, 2006 when…

El Tovar – Grand Canyon National Park, Arizona

When Spanish explorer García López de Cárdenas first laid eyes on the Grand Canyon, surely his reaction wasn’t “it’s just a great big hole in the ground.” That was the reaction of a friend of mine, who much like other modern Americans is so caught up in the trappings of pop culture and “technolust” that he’s lost the ability to be impressed by what it has taken nature millions of years to produce. It took some six million years for the Colorado River to create the multi-hued, steep-sided gorge that is today considered one of the natural wonders of the world.  The incomparable magnitude of the Colorado River’s handiwork certainly wasn’t lost on the Fred Harvey Company, the West’s most…

El Rancho – Gallup, New Mexico

In the 1930s and 1940s, sometimes considered the halcyon days of Western movies, the Four Corners region was the site of many cinematic classics, quite a few featuring battles between the cavalry and “misplaced” American Indians.  Never mind that the Cheyenne and the Sioux actually lived hundreds of miles (and several states) away, the region’s dramatic topography was a perfect backdrop for cowboy conflicts with these Midwestern Indians. Besides that, Navajo “actors” were plentiful.  Producers would attire them in war bonnets, arm them with lances and hand them scripts in which they would invariably succumb to the “righteous might” of the charging cavalry. One movie, John Ford’s classic Cheyenne Autumn, featuring Navajo actors pretending to be Cheyenne, has an almost cult…

Felipe’s Tacos – Santa Fe, New Mexico (CLOSED)

The rich folklore of the Hispanic culture of New Mexico and southern Colorado is preserved largely through cuentos (stories, legends and myths) passed down from one generation to the next. Among my favorites is a short story of how God named His people. According to this cuento, God passed out so many names–Ortega, Lopez, Gonzalez, Sanchez–that He ran out of last names and said, “the rest of you will be called Martinez.”  This cuento is meant to illustrate why there are so many people with the last name of Martinez in New Mexico and southern Colorado. Told in English, God would have given everyone else the last name of Smith or Jones. Common though the name Martinez may be, it…

Murphy’s Mule Barn – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

A mule is an animal with long funny ears he kicks up at anything he hears His back is brawny but his brain is weak he’s just plain stupid with a stubborn streak and by the way if you hate to go to school You may grow up to be a mule. – Bing Crosby Murphy’s law, a popular adage in Western culture is commonly formulated as “if anything can go wrong, it will.”  Murphy’s Mule Barn, a popular North Valley restaurant, hasn’t posited any law that I know of, but if it did, the law might read something like “friendly folks, great food, huge portions, small check.” Named for Murphy’s Mule Barn in Salina, Kansas, the restaurant celebrates all…

La Hacienda Express – Bernalillo, New Mexico (CLOSED)

You know you’re in New Mexico when you can order breakfast burritos under the golden arches or green chile cheeseburgers at Wendy’s. In doing so, however, you just might be sacrificing tastiness for the sake of expeditiousness. An excellent alternative to chain-induced heartburn and burger boredom is a stop at La Hacienda Express, a favorite of locals in the know. While it may not have as many restaurants as the ubiquitous chains, you can still find one in the Nob Hill area (4400 Central, S.E.), one in the far northeast heights (11200 Montgomery, N.E.) and one at Albuquerque’s Sunport where you can get your last (or first) fix of New Mexican food before flying out (or after landing). There’s a…

The Hole Thing Donut Shop – Red River, New Mexico (CLOSED)

A less optimistic man than I once lamented that the healthiest part of the donut is the hole, but you’ve got to eat the entire donut to get to it. To me, that’s a “glass is half empty” perspective on one of the most popular breakfast and dessert items in the world. With almost thirty percent of American adults indicating they are trying to control their diets, donuts have also been lambasted and their consumption decreased with the increase of cholesterol conscious consumers. Adkins himself might have given up his cholesterol denouncing diet had he found The Hole Thing Donut Shop in Red River, New Mexico, easily the best donut restaurant we’ve visited in the Land of Enchantment. How good…

JB’s Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

The first thing that comes to mind when someone invites me to a buffet is a paragraph from E. B. White’s 1952 classic Charlotte Web.  In that paragraph, an old sheep describes the county fair to Templeton the lovingly irascible rat: “A fair is a rat’s paradise. Everybody spills food at a fair. A rat can creep out late at night and have a feast. In the horse barn you will find oats that the trotters and pacers have spilled. In the trampled grass of the infield you will find old discarded lunch boxes containing the foul remains of peanut butter sandwiches, hard-boiled eggs, cracker crumbs, bits of doughnuts, and particles of cheese. In the hard-packed dirt of the midway,…

Perennials Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

What most people seem to know about Perennials Restaurant is that it’s owned by the parents of Albuquerque’s own Neil Patrick Harris, a 1991 graduate of La Cueva High School, who at age sixteen, landed the lead role in Doogie Howser, M.D. The television series about a teen prodigy doctor propelled him into teen heartthrob status. After two visits to Perennials, I’m somewhat surprised that this bright, east-facing restaurant isn’t even better known for the terrific quality of its food. It seems to be especially popular for breakfast among the geriatric set, a demographic my stand-up comedian friend swears have two criteria for selecting a restaurant: tasteless or cheap. He also observes that among the “blue-hairs” as he calls them,…