Category: Rating: N/R (Not Rated)

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The Skillet – Las Vegas, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

A man comes home after a long day.  His wife then hits him in the back of the head with a frying pan.  He clutches his head in pain asking her, “Honey why? Why did you do that?” She answers, “When I was doing your laundry I found a receipt in your pocket with a woman’s name on it.” He responds, “That’s why you hit me? Honey, Mary-Ann is a horse I bet on.  That’s the receipt for my bet.” She accepts that and apologizes and they make up.  Next week the same thing happens. He comes home and is struck in the back of his head with a frying pan. The husband asks, “AGAIN? You hit me in the head with a frying pan again, why?!”  The wife looks at him and says, “Your horse called.” Believe it or not, in the 50s and 60s (long before my time), wives bashing their husbands on their heads with frying pans passed for humor.  Banner Graphic confirms this gallows humor trend: “The image of an angry woman hitting her uncooperative husband over the head with a frying pan is usually a cartoonishly laughing matter.  After all, it’s a staple of comic…

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Bar Castañeda – Las Vegas, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Northern New Mexico’s highways and byways are incomparable for their scenic beauty.  From the historical High Road to Taos with its remnants of Spanish occupation to the spectacular Enchanted Circle which circles New Mexico’s highest mountain peak, this region is replete with awe and wonder.  Desiree Aguilar, my friend and former colleague at the University of New Mexico shares my opinion that even these two world-famous byways are eclipsed by a lesser known stretch of road.  We both believe the drive between Las Vegas, New Mexico and Taos is the state’s most enchanting.  Taking this route, you’ll traverse past ramshackle adobe homesteads, small villages and a pine-studded mountain pass through the Carson National Forest.  This nameless route (State Highway 518) continues past the “Rock Wall” ( built by the Works Public Administration (WPA) after World War II) onto Taos. Sadly in 2022, the combined devastation of the Calf Canyon/Hermits Peak Fires, the largest and most destructive wildfire in state history consumed 341,471 acres–including a large swath along my favorite byway and its villages.  Portions of San Miguel, Mora and Taos counties were impacted.  While the fire was devastating, the heart of the community beat with compassion.  Signs expressing “We are…

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Sage Bakehouse – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno11:24 AM

Bread.  We’ve been told it’s bad for our health, that it’s loaded with carbs and gluten.  Western doctors admonish caloric-overachievers to reduce our consumption of bread.  These dispensers of dietary information are at a loss to explain Emma Tillman.  When she passed away in 2007, the daughter of former slaves was an American supercentenarian and, for a few days, the world’s oldest living person.  She passed away at the young age of  114 years and 67 days.  Emma Tillman ran her own baking and catering service for about sixty years.  She prepared the staff of life for dignitaries in the state of North Carolina which proclaimed an “Emma Tillman Day” to commemorate her 110th birthday. Eleven years after Emma Tillman went to her eternal reward, a 115-year-old US woman from Iowa died less than two weeks after inheriting the title of world’s oldest person. Dina Manfredini was known as a great cook who baked Italian bread every Sunday for her family, and meticulously made pasta by hand.  One of the commonalities between these venerable women was their love of bread.  That’s something they shared from five specific areas of the world where residents live the longest. Those residents live in…

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Tio’s Kitchen – Bernalillo, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

I may not have much respect for the national media or for politicians, but I sure do respect the elderly (unless they’re members of the media or politicians).  My parents engendered among their six children, respect for our elders.  None of us would ever consider addressing an elder by their first name.  We would never use the pronoun “tu” (you) when speaking with someone older than us.  We always use “usted,” also a Spanish term for “you,” but used in a formal manner for people we respect and always for our elders.  We were raised with the type of respect for seniors that is practiced in India, Thailand, Somalia, Indonesia and other nations who venerate their elderly.   Being raised in Peñasco (which is within the confines of the Picuris Pueblo reservation), we witnessed respect for seniors quite often. Similar to the aforementioned nations, many Native American cultures across the fruited plain are exemplars in how to treat their elders.  In the Lakota culture, grandfathers are viewed as “the elders of the tribe and in many ways personify the sacredness of the goodness and wisdom of the Great Spirit. Grandfathers carry the spirit of the people. Grandmothers are even more…

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Big Mike’s Burgers & More – Belen, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

In 2014, Epicurious compiled a list of  crimes against burgers:  Hockey-puck patties, pressing down with a spatula, over-flipping, unmelted cheese and hard-as-a-rock buns.   For decades most burger aficionados followed these commandments as if their souls depended on them.  We cringed and bristled when burger flippers smashed down burger patties on a grill.  “There goes all the juices” we bemoaned.  “Here comes another dry as a New Mexico dust devil burger” we lamented.  Of all the felonious assaults against our beloved burger, pressing down the spatula was the most grievous, a crime that should be punishable by years of hard labor. Then in the 1970s a Kentucky restaurateur “invented” something we know today as a “smash burger.”  To hasten the preparation time and sate the throngs queued up to be fed, he placed a large bean can atop the beef patties.  By “smashing” the burger with a heavy object, he discovered the meat had greater contact with the griddle.  Not only did this lead to a better flavor, the resultant beef patties developed a “crust” that sealed in juices.  Smash burgers are super model thin compared to thick quarter- or half-pound beefy behemoths.   The thinner burger has a much darker,…

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Zacatlán – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

As a naive and impressionable child with a vivid imagination, my most frightening weekly ordeal was walking home from Catechism, especially when teachings centered around the devil and his demons. For some reason we weren’t taught about a loving God. Instead it was drilled into us that if we’re not “good” we’d go to Hell.  Strangely such concepts as forgiveness and goodness were described rather abstractly while the devil (undoubtedly a progenitor of today’s elected officials) and sin were made real enough to traumatize us all.  The devil was everywhere waiting to ensnare us into sin and drag us (wailing and gnashing our teeth) into Hell. Walking home at twilight after another fire and brimstone lesson made me long for the safety and security of home.  It made me quite unhappy that Adam and Eve were expelled from Eden for disobeying God.  Eden is described in Genesis as “the garden of God.”  Our Catechism teachers taught us Eden was a peaceful place in which we were all intended to live contented and innocent lives.  Unfortunately, rather than focus on the beauty and serenity of Eden, we were petrified by descriptions of the serpent who tempted Eve to partake of the…

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The Rock Inn Mountain Tavern – Estes Park, Colorado

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

During my years at St. Anthony’s in Peñasco, I frequently tried the patience of the saintly nuns.   Thankfully capital punishment was not permissible or you wouldn’t be reading this.  It’s bad enough I wore out a few rulers and hopefully one elderly nun’s knuckles which often found their way to my head (that may explain a few things).  I wasn’t a malicious student, just one who didn’t always conform.  It wasn’t the age of “doing your own thing” though I certainly did my best to be an individual.  Albeit, I was an individual who didn’t do his homework or study for tests (but still managed to ace them all). My antics were never deliberately destructive.  In some ways I was like a gangly newborn giraffe trying to get my legs under me.  Unusually tall for an elementary school student in Northern New Mexico, I was a poster child for clumsiness.  Fellow students feared my lack of coordination would result in injury.  When the nuns insisted on having us square dance, the girls feared my do-si-do more than they did an impromptu math quiz.  My dancing resembled a combination of roller skating on ice and steer wrestling.    My Kim…

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The Post Chicken & Beer – Estes Park, Colorado

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

In 1974 prolific author Stephen King and his wife Tabitha spent a night in Room 217 of The Stanley, a a 140-room Colonial Revival hotel in Estes Park, about five miles from the entrance to Rocky Mountain National Park.  The hotel staff was preparing to close the hotel for the season so the Kings found themselves the only guests in the place.  King wrote about the experience on his website: “Wandering through its corridors, I thought that it seemed the perfect—maybe the archetypical—setting for a ghost story. That night I dreamed of my three-year-old son running through the corridors, looking back over his shoulder, eyes wide, screaming. He was being chased by a fire-hose. I woke up with a tremendous jerk, sweating all over, within an inch of falling out of bed. I got up, lit a cigarette, sat in the chair looking out the window at the Rockies, and by the time the cigarette was done, I had the bones of the book firmly set in my mind.” As you ascend the hill leading to The Stanley, you’re struck at the grandeur and immensity of the complex.  It’s hard to imagine Jack Nicholson demolishing a door with an axe,…

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Cafe Genevieve – Jackson, Wyoming

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

My friend and former Intel colleague Steve Caine will forever rue the day he asked me to help him with an expense report for a business trip he made to Portland, Oregon. His itemized expense report indicated he had dined twice at Chevy’s, a middling quality Americanized Mexican restaurant which wouldn’t survive in the tough Albuquerque market. I teased him mercilessly. Worse, when my boss saw what the commotion was all about, he immediately put Steve on double-secret probation. Steve has never lived down visiting a Chevy’s in Portland where he could have had some of the country’s freshest and best seafood. When the din died down, Steve admitted somewhat sheepishly that after two days in Portland, he was missing New Mexican food so desperately that he visited the closed facsimile he could find. It was either Chevy’s or a restaurant named Machissimo Mouse (seriously). In truth, I’ve been there, too…well, not to Chevy’s and definitely not to Machissimo Mouse, but at a point in my business travels where the craving for New Mexico’s inimitable cuisine strikes like an addict’s need for a fix. My Kim and I had been away from New Mexico for eleven days during our June,…

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Miazga’s – Jackson, Wyoming

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

The Jackson Hole Valley is so breathtaking that in the 1970s when the US launched Voyager II into space, scientists attached an Ansel Adams photograph of the valley as a representation of life on Earth in the event aliens discovered the vessel.  Spanning two spectacular mountain ranges (the Grand Tetons and Grand Ventres), Jackson Hole just may be the most picturesque valley on the planet.  It’s an Eden with winter.  It’s also among the most expensive and desirable havens in the universe.  Space aliens captivated by the Ansel Adams photograph and wanting to visit had better up the credit limits on their credit cards.  They might also have to lower their expectations as to  intelligent life on Earth.  The valley is home away from home to Kanye West and Kim Kardashian among other glitterati.  Well-heeled aliens will find luxurious amenities throughout the valley.  Four- and five-star resorts and hotels offer world-class services, dining options and spas sure to spoil any extraterrestrial.  So will concierge services that lead to the very best of the Valley.  It won’t be longe before our sojourning aliens are getting fitted for tuxes and gowns so they can attend film, music and art events.  Soon they’ll…

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Bigwood Bread Cafe – Ketchum, Idaho

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Ernest Hemingway spent much of the roaring twenties in Paris, a city whose own liberal attitudes attracted poets, painters and writers from throughout the world. Paris was a vibrant city which drew many expats from the so-called “lost generation” of cynical young people disillusioned with the materialism and individualism prevalent in society at the time.  As a young writer penning “A Moveable Feast,” Hemingway observed: “You got very hungry when you did not eat enough in Paris,” because all the bakery shops had such good things in the windows and people ate outside at tables on the sidewalk so that you saw and smelled the food.” An avid outdoorsman, Ernest Hemingway, was a Sun Valley habitué even before establishing a permanent residence in Ketchum two years before his death in 1961.  One of Hemingway’s favorite watering holes was The Sawtooth Club, a decidedly masculine appointed establishment where he would have been right at home.  While enjoying breakfast at Bigwood Bread about a mile north of The Sawtooth Club, I wondered to myself if Hemingway would have enjoyed that bread.  Surely after having experienced Paris and its incomparable boulangeries, he would have become addicted to bread.   Alas, Bigwood Bread, the…