Sunshine Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry Sunshine on the waters looks so lovely Sunshine almost always makes me high -John Denver A gloomy, gray winter day in Minnesota was the inspiration for John Denver’s number one song “Sunshine on My Shoulders.” During a visit to the Gopher State in 1974, he experienced the type of “cabin fever” with which many New Mexicans are familiar after one gloomy winter day after another (ask anyone from Chama).  Minnesota, as we know, is a far cry from New Mexico when it comes to winter warmth and sunshine. Still, after the winter of 2007-2008, many New Mexicans are able to empathize with Denver’s being ready…

Chino Bandido – Chandler, Arizona (CLOSED)

Gustavo Arellano has the right idea. The brilliant and hilarious author of Ask A Mexican, a widely syndicated alternative newspaper column, confronts the “bogeymen of racism, xenophobia, and ignorance” with humor. In his weekly column, he defeats stereotypes and those who wield them by using deprecatory wit to exaggerate those stereotypes to the point of the ridiculous. In the Language chapter of his uproarious book, he provides a list of commonly used Mexican terms and phrases so that “you, too, can become a Mexican.” The book defines a “Chino” as “literally “Chinese,” but the catchall phrase Mexicans use for all Asians regardless of nationality.” This is clarified with the example: “Vietnamese food is my favorite Chino cuisine.” I found it…

Milton’s Family Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

In a 2002 column Jason Sheehan, one of the best in a succession of outstanding Alibi restaurant critics assembled a dream menu of the best foods he had ever eaten, a “desert-island top ten” from which he’d choose if ever asked the question, “If you could eat only one thing every day for the rest of your life, what would it be?”  His top ten list included the phenomenal red chile breakfast burritos from Milton’s Family Restaurant in Albuquerque. As a restaurant critic I’d flatter myself disingenuously if I compared myself to Sheehan, but at least in terms of our mutually high opinion of Milton’s breakfast burritos, we’re completely simpatico. I first discovered those tortilla encased treasures when stationed at…

Leona’s Restaurante de Chimayo – Chimayo, New Mexico

In his book Authentic Happiness, Dr. Martin Seligman posited that there are two kinds of smiles. The first is called the Duchenne smile, named for its discoverer, French neurologist Guillame Duchenne. This is considered a genuine smile in which the corners of the mouth turn up and the skin around the corners of the eyes crinkle (ala crow’s feet). This type of smile may sometimes begin with laughter that generates a wide smile which causes the skin around the eyes to crease. The Duchenne smile is very hard to fake and is therefore often used to detect sincerity. The other type of smile, called the Pan American smile, is named after the smile airline stewardesses (or at least those on…

The Old House Gastropub – Corrales, New Mexico (CLOSED)

There’s a European joke that uses stereotypes to deride British cooking, one of the most maligned cuisines in the world culinary stage. As the joke goes, in the European conception of heaven, the French are the chefs, the British are the police and the Germans are the engineers while in the European conception of hell, the Germans are the police, the French are the engineers and the British are the chefs. When it comes to the culinary arts, England is the Rodney Dangerfield of Europe; its cuisine receives absolutely no respect. English food is regarded as bland and unimaginative, especially when compared with the haute (and haughty) cuisine of France. Having spent three years in England and having partaken of…

Chicago Beef – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Ask any Chicago transplant in Albuquerque or anywhere else to list the five things they miss most about the Windy City and it’s a good bet the list will include Italian beef sandwiches, a staple in Chicago. Citizens of the Toddlin’ Town are almost as passionate about this sloppy sandwich as they are Da Bears. Chicagoans grow up worshipping at high counters on which they prop their elbows as they consume Italian beef sandwiches–sometimes because the restaurant has no tables, but more often than not, because no matter how careful they are, they’re bound to spill shards of beef, bits of giardiniera and drippings of spice-laden beef gravy onto their clothing. The authentic Italian beef sandwich is, according to Pasquale…

Bellagio Buffet – Las Vegas, Nevada

Comparing the Bellagio Buffet to the buffets proffered at other casino hotels isn’t quite akin to comparing a Bacchanalian festival to a swinish feeding troth, but it might be close.  That’s because the difference in quality between the Bellagio Buffet and its nearest competitor is several degrees of magnitude. It’s the one buffet in Vegas in which you might actually see the gentrified and the affluent condescend to mingle with the rabble.  It’s also the one buffet in which some of the patrons don’t look like they parked their hay wagons in front of the casino and walked in. Being the very best, the Bellagio Buffet seemingly brings out the best behavior among its dining patrons who at other casinos…