Month: July 2020

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Cocoa Flora – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

In a 1995 episode of Seinfeld fittingly titled “The Switch” Jerry asked his devious friend George Costanza how he could switch from dating Sandy, a dour woman who didn’t laugh to dating her roommate Laura, a comely woman who laughed at all of Jerry’s jokes. George’s contrived a plan: Jerry would suggest a ménage à trois.  This would disgust Sandy so much she’d break up with Jerry.  Sandy would then tell Laura who will feel flattered, thus paving the way for Jerry to ask her out. However, when both Sandy and Laura agreed enthusiastically to the ménage à trois, Jerry promptly backed out of the suggestion. His response to George was hilarious: “Don’t you know what it means to become…

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T & T Gas N Mart – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

“Eat here and get gas.”  Even in more naive and innocent times, the connotation of that double-entendre wasn’t lost on adults or children, all of whom giggled when they espied the classic sign on the marquee of many a combination eatery and filling station.  In his brilliant website The Big Apple, the “restless genius of American etymology” Barry Popik points out the sign was noticed as early as 1930.  On roadways and byways–primarily across rural America–you might still espy that clever, funny and yes, inviting sign.  It undoubtedly still inspires guffaws and groans in equal measure. Consumer historian Jan Whitaker explains in her magnificent blog Restaurant-ing Through History that not long “after thousands of Americans acquired cars and took to…

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Kimo’s Hawaiian BBQ – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

For over a quarter century, the most popular section in New Mexico Magazine (the nation’s oldest state magazine, by the way) has been a humorous column entitled “One of Our Fifty is Missing.” The column features anecdotes submitted by readers worldwide recounting their experiences with fellow American citizens and ill-informed bureaucrats who don’t realize that New Mexico is part of the United States. Some travelers from other states actually believe they’re leaving their nation’s borders when they cross into New Mexico. Others think they need a passport to visit (not that they’d visit considering they’re wary of drinking our water.) Merchants and banks throughout America have been known to reject as “foreign credit cards” American Express and Visa cards issued…

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Guaca Guaca Tacos & Beer – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

What culinary voluptuaries consider exotic and delicious, timorous eaters might find distasteful and even nauseating. With M.F.K Fisher as their muse, culinary voluptuaries–the truly adventurous diners among us–don’t let themselves be drawn into a vortex of memories recalling foods they’ve already experienced. Instead, they live with carpe diem engraved on their hearts, ever in pursuit of their next culinary epiphany, the next “aha” moment when their taste buds awaken to never before experienced symphonies of incredible flavors. Sometimes to achieve the discoveries they crave, they have to reach into the distant past, their culture’s culinary roots. That’s certainly the case in contemporary Mexico where, for the past quarter-century or so, the scions of Montezuma have been frequenting restaurants and markets…

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Curry Leaf – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

Leonard: Is it racist that I took you to an Indian restaurant? Priya: It’s okay, I like Indian food. Leonard: Or as you probably call it back home, food. ~Big Bang Theory (Season Four, Episode 18) Queen Rania of Jordan cautioned against judging “through the prism of our own stereotypes.” Ill-founded stereotypes were very much in evidence after my team successfully landed an especially challenging project at Intel…and as with most stereotypes, they were based on faulty assumptions, overarching generalization and lack of experience. When we deliberated where to celebrate our achievement, my suggestion that our repast be held at an Indian restaurant was met with such comments as “Indian food is…too spicy, too rich, too much curry, too vegetarian”…

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Bristol Doughnut Co. – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

While most people speak with fond nostalgia about their first ride on a double-decker bus, the memories of our inaugural trip are tinged with horror that traumatizes us to this day. As with most visitors making their first excursion to London, we wanted to take in all the sights with the best vantage point you can have. That meant sitting on the top deck of a double-decker. These bi-level behemoths ride higher than almost everything else on the road save for those noisy articulated lorries ( what we Yanks call semi-trailer trucks). Despite the congestion that typifies London’s streets, double-deckers provide spectacular, mostly unobstructed views of the city. Though we arrived early to ensure we got seats on the coveted…

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Stufys – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno

In a 2015 episode of Food Network Star competition, Lenny “The Cowboy Chef” McNab committed a serious culinary faux pas that brought about a serious rebuke from one of the celebrity judges.  During the “Cutthroat Kitchen” heat when contestants were asked to make a breakfast plate, Lenny used masa (corn flour) to make what he called sopaipillas.  Judge Bobby Flay took one bite of the “sopaipilla,” found the corn meal disk inedible and spit it out.  He then proceeded to give the Cowboy Chef an “if looks could kill” stare over having presenting the tainted tortillas as sopaipillas.  Flay was undoubtedly wondering if the Cowboy Chef was really from New York City…as in  “New York City!  Git a rope. An…

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Flamez Bistro – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno

Hold the pickles Hold the lettuce Special orders don’t upset us All we ask is that you let us serve it your way In 1974, Burger King introduced its most successful and long-standing advertising campaign, the heart of which was “Have It Your Way,” a catchy jingle designed to contrast just how flexible Burger King is compared to its largest competitor, the ubiquitous McDonalds. The earworm-inspiring jingle told us we could have burgers made especially for us—tailor-made, customized, prepared any way we want them. It implied that unlike its rigid and inflexible competitor, Burger King recognizes our uniqueness and they celebrate it with burgers that reflect our individuality, lifestyles and dietary considerations. There are, Burger King tells us, 221,184 ways…