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AlbuquerqueNew MexicoPizzaRating: ExcellentSandwich

Slice & Dice – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno5:37 PM

You might remember a 2004 documentary called Supersize Me in which writer-producer Morgan Spurlock explored the consequences on his health of a diet consisting solely of McDonald’s food for one month.  Spurlock has nothing on Dan Janssen who as of 2019 had eaten almost nothing but pizza for nearly thirty years.  That’s pizza for lunch and dinner every day of the year for just about three decades.  Janssen is certainly no believer in the old adage that variety is the spice of life because the only spice with which he tops his pizza is oregano.  Nor does variety extend to the type of pizza he enjoys.  Every day he usually consumes one fourteen-inch cheese pizza for lunch and another for dinner. Any dietary diversity he enjoys is through eating at different pizza restaurants–even chains, about which he declares “they’re all pretty bad, but I do frequent them. Pizza is like sex—even when it’s bad, it’s good.”  Ironically, as a teenager Janssen became a vegetarian for “ethical reasons” but determined rather quickly that he didn’t like vegetables.  A pizza diet seemed to make sense.  Just as a diet of nothing but McDonald’s food for a month wreaked havoc on Morgan Spurlock’s health,…

AlbuquerqueContinentalNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)Sandwich

Little Europe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Few natural wonders are as awe-inspiring and spectacular as  the chalky White Cliffs of Dover on the English coast.  Only for a short while are those bright white, natural geological formations visible at night as you’re sailing away toward France on a cross-channel ferry.  Instead, as you depart from Dover’s busy port, you’re treated to an increasingly receding facade as the 350-foot chalk faces dim, their bright white geological features vividly reflecting moonlight.  That’s the view I remember most from my first English crossing some 21 miles away from France.  Along with a busful of eager passengers, we were bound for Calais, the closest point in France to Great Britain. For the Germans, that made it the most logical and heavily fortified location for an Allied invasion. Our “invasion” wasn’t to visit wartime sights most of which are some 230 miles east at Normandy D-Day landing beaches (such as Omaha and Juno). Our excursion was much more peaceful (although not necessarily quiet). We were bound for Auchan, a well-stocked hypermarket (a massive retail establishment that combines a supermarket and a department store under one roof) in Bolulogne-Sur-Mer.  Auchon was reputed to be the ideal place to purchase French wines, cheese…

AlbuquerqueBarbecueBreakfast BurritosNew MexicoRating: Very Good

J’s Var-B-Q – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Step into J’s Var-B-Q and the first thing you’re inevitably going to notice is the aroma of smoked meats wafting toward you.  The bouquet of sweet and succulent smoke envelops you like a warm blanket on a cold night.   It’s a comforting smoke sure to elicit involuntary salivation.  It’s a siren’s song luring you to the counter where you place your order from a tempting menu of meats, sandwiches, sides, specialties and desserts.   If the doors to J’s Var-B-Q were to literally stay open, the rapturous redolence of smoked meats would escape onto Montgomery and traffic would be snarled with motorists (maybe even a vegetarian or six) making their way to this bodacious barbecue restaurant. The second thing you’re likely to notice is a large mural on the wall depicting a grizzled gentleman with engorged pythons for arms.  He’s got his hands steepled in prayer and his eyes closed in reverence.  Undoubtedly he’s giving thanks for the bounty laid out before him: a plate of ribs and hot links with sides of mac-and-cheese and baked beans.  The prayerful man on the mural is Julian Vargas, a born-and-bred New Mexican and patriarch of the Vargas family.  If you haven’t…

AlbuquerqueAmericanBreakfastBreakfast BurritosBrunchNew MexicoRating: Good

Brekki Brekki – Albuquerque and Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Brekki Brekki–To those of us who were around in the mid 70s, those two words might dredge up recollections of the citizens band (CB) radio vernacular.  Maybe even the Chuck Norris movie “Breaker!  Breaker!” with its perfunctory butt-kicking.  Though I pride myself on having a sesquipedalian vocabulary, I had never heard the term “brekki” used  as slang for breakfast” until watching the Irish television series “Jack Taylor.”  My research revealed “brekki” is not an Irish term for breakfast, but is in Iceland.  Yes, Iceland.  Jack Taylor’s backstory didn’t involve a stint in Iceland.  So, where did the Irish detective pick up the term.  Closer to home, why would a Duke City restaurant specializing in breakfast name itself “Brekki Brekki?” Paula, our delightful server didn’t know. She believes the term is Italian for breakfast, but verifiable evidence doesn’t seem to exist on the omniscient internet.  It’s conceivable the restaurant’s name is meant as a mnemonic, a word pattern designed to help people remember it.  At the very least, it’s a cutesy term.  Owner Robert Punya, who also founded and owns Poki Poki Cevicheria seems to like duplicated names.  If you haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Robert, you’re undoubtedly acquainted with…

AlbuquerqueJapaneseKoreanRating: Very Good

Asian Pear – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno8:58 PM

“Careful Father, this stuff will melt your beads.” ~Lt Colonel Henry Blake, MASH 4077 Just as Hogan’s Heroes helped establish the perception many Americans (at least of my generation) had about German food, the television show MASH was the first introduction many of us had to Korean food. Set in South Korea during the Korean War, the series centered around a group of resilient doctors, nurses and support staff in an isolated hospital compound which saw more than its share of wounded. Not only did each half hour episode depict–sometimes rather graphically–the horrors of war, it painted a rather poignant and entirely accurate picture of sacrifice and hardship. Some of the sacrifice and hardship came at the hands of the kitchen staff which concocted some of the most unsavory fare conceivable (imagine a restaurant today serving creamed turnips, spam lamb and cream of weenie soup). Indigenous cuisine was apparently even worse because no matter how bad chow hall food was, the MASH team didn’t walk down to the nearby village for a meal of Korean food. And, as the quote above illustrates, when they did partake of Korean food, the impression given was that it was almost lethally piquant. Compared…

Bar & GrillDog FriendlyNew MexicoNew Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail: 2009PizzaRating: Very GoodRio Rancho

Turtle Mountain Brewing Company – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil Garduno3:27 PM

The Tewa name “Oku Pin” which translates in English to “Turtle Mountain” has three meanings of significance to the people of Okay Owingeh, one of New Mexico’s great Tewa speaking Northern New Mexico Pueblos. “Oku Pin” was the the Indian name given to Dr. Alfonso Ortiz who obtained worldwide prominence as an anthropologist and ethnologist until his death in 1998. Ortiz was born and raised in San Juan Pueblo which in 2006 officially changed its name to Okay Owingeh. “Oku Pin” is also the Tewa name for Sandia Peak, the 10,678-feet high mountain which provides a spectacular backdrop for Albuquerque, Bernalillo and Rio Rancho. When Nico Ortiz, son of the famous anthropologist launched his inaugural restaurant and microbrewery in 1997, it just made sense that it should be called Turtle Mountain, a name which pays homage to his father and to the magnificent peaks under whose shadow his enterprise would flourish. Today, Turtle Mountain has also become synonymous with good food and (ostensibly) very good beer. Nico Ortiz has dedicated his life to the pursuit and production of good beer and has garnered tremendous recognition for his efforts, including a multi-page spread on the November, 2005 edition of New Mexico…

AlbuquerqueBreakfastBreakfast BurritosMexicanNew MexicoRating: ExcellentTacos

Rio Tacos – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

In May, Mexico City’s Tacos El Califa de León, in the downtrodden San Rafael neighborhood became the first Mexican taco stand to win a Michelin star.  One of the things that makes its selection remarkable is that the taqueria is the antithesis of most Michelin starred restaurants.  It’s not elegant and its tables aren’t set with immaculately pressed white linens.  There are no sterling place-settings or fine china.   Instead, the taqueria has no tables or seats.  It’s standing room only with space for only a handful of guests and a metal counter on which they can balance their plates. Fittingly, the taqueria is all about tacos.  There’s nothing else on the menu, only four options: bistec (seared steak), chuleta (thinly sliced pork chop), costilla (fork-tender beef) and the taqueria’s signature creation, the gaonera (whole steak).  These four proteins are sliced thinly, prepared with lard on a plancha (grill) and seasoned with coarse salt and a squeeze of lime.  While the chef is preparing each taco, handmade corn tortillas are being made alongside the grill.  It’s all prepared to order.  Tacos are served with your choice of two salsas. Michelin stars are a badge of honor, an honor coveted by…

AlbuquerqueBurgersNew MexicoRating: Very Good

Grassburger – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno1:20 PM

For nearly a decade, television viewers have been subjected to a very successful advertising campaign depicting contented cows talking and singing about the pleasures of life in sunny and warm California. The slogan for the “happy cows” campaign’ is “Great cheese comes from happy cows. Happy cows come from California.” The campaign would have you believe the cows are happy because they feast and frolic on a diet of delicious grass from verdant hillsides and not on troughs full of grains which don’t taste quite as good. I don’t know about cows being happier because they graze on grass, but can certainly attest to being a happier diner when enjoying a diet of grass-fed beef. Generations of New Mexicans, particularly from the more verdurous northern villages, find the notion of grain-fed cattle heretical. All our cows are grass-fed thanks to open-range grazing laws which allow carefree cows to traipse up and down the streets in search of unfenced (or poorly fenced) yards in which the grass does appear to be greener. In the late spring when mountain snows have started to melt, many ranchers herd their cattle into the mountains where meadowlands near the timberline are abundant. In fall when…

AlbuquerqueNew MexicoRating: ExcellentThai

Thai Boran – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno11:34 AM

Many of us with a puerile sense of humor can probably recall giggling like silly school kids the first time we visited a Thai restaurant and perused a menu. We went straight into the gutter the first time we came across such foods as phat prik and fuktong curry. Even after learning that “phat prik” is actually a stir-fried chili dish and “fuktong curry” is a pumpkin curry, the sophomoric among us couldn’t order these dishes with a straight face. It gets even worse when we actually learned how to pronounce the names of Thai dishes. Not even Bob Newhart could order “cow pod guy” (chicken fried rice) or “cow pod moo” (pork fried rice) with his usual deadpan delivery. That’s probably why so many of us will place our order by number instead of endeavoring to pronounce words we find a bit salacious or humorous. Let’s face it, denizens of the fruited plain tend to find the names of some Thai dishes humorous because the way they’re spelled or pronounced is similar to English sexual references or swear words. Perhaps that’s why Thai restaurateurs tend to use clever word play, typically puns, to name their eateries. Instead of christening…

AlbuquerqueAsianChineseNew MexicoRating: ExcellentSeafood

East Ocean Chinese & Seafood – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno11:01 PM

In 2022, Freddie Wong posted a TikTok video that went viral on several social media platforms. In the video, Wong, purports to find the most “authentic” Chinese food by utilizing restaurant review website Yelp in a unique way.  “The easiest way to find authentic Chinese food, assuming you’re living in a major metropolitan area, is to go on Yelp and to look for restaurants with three-and-a-half stars,” declared Wong in his TikTok video, which garnered an astonishing 7.2 million views in only two days. “Exactly three and a half, not three, not four. Three-and-a-half stars is a sweet spot for authentic Chinese food.” Again, the assumption is based on living in a major metropolitan area where there are a preponderance of “authentic” Chinese restaurants.  In cities such as Albuquerque, few restaurants even offer a traditional Chinese menu (if you ask for it).  Among those is East Ocean which coincidentally or not is rated  exactly three-and-a-half stars on Yelp.  A Duke City mainstay for more than thirty years, East Ocean has a huge following that includes  George Thorning, my friend and colleague at the University of New Mexico.   Though he did experience a bit of consternation when the restaurant changed…

AlbuquerqueBakeryCoffeeNew MexicoRating: ExcellentSandwichVietnamese

Banh Me & You – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno8:47 AM

According to The Tanner Food Group, a a food consultancy focused on international trade, industry preparedness and regulatory activities, there are now nearly 8,000 Vietnamese restaurants stateside.  Food Scientist Michael Murdy, founder of robustkitchen.com attributes the  popularity of Vietnamese food to the “wide range of flavors and textures associated,” specifying that “the combination of sour, sweet, savory, and spicy flavors, as well as the use of fresh herbs and vegetables, makes Vietnamese food particularly attractive to people.” From among the nearly 8,000 Vietnamese restaurants on this side of the pond, it’s a good bet many of their menus are graced with banh mi, the sandwich melding French and Vietnamese flavors and techniques.  I first encountered the banh mi during one of many trips to the Santa Clara-San Jose area courtesy of Intel.  With a significant Vietnamese population, the area was teeming with restaurants, most generally serving pho and other wondrous delights from Vietnam.  At the time (mid 1990s), the San Jose area was starting to see Vietnamese bakeries opening up mostly in areas frequented by Asian populations.  Among them was Lee’s Sandwiches, maybe the first to showcase the banh mi. Lee’s Sandwiches has suffixed its corporate name with “International” and…