Category: American

AlbuquerqueAmericanFood TruckNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)Sandwich

Cheesy Street – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno5:26 PM

There once was a sandwich with cheese, That quickly brought me to my knees. Toasted, roasted. Oh sweet bliss. I’d be completely remiss Not to say, I’ll take two please. ~Ode To Grilled Cheese Courtesy of Clean Eats, Fast Feets Comedian Rodney Dangerfield used to joke that “I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.” Masterfully delivered in his inimitable perennial loser persona, that joke followed the thematic formula of his landmark 1980 album “No Respect.” With that joke, the pudgy bug-eyed comic unabashedly hinted at the importance of food porn in his life without actually uttering the term. Fittingly, Dangerfield, who based his entire comedy routine on getting no respect, isn’t even given the respect and credit for first suggesting the notion of food porn. In fact it wasn’t until 1984 that the term “food porn” was coined when author Rosalind Coward wrote in her groundbreaking book Female Desires: How They Are Bought and Packaged: “Cooking food and presenting it beautifully is an act of servitude. It is a way of expressing affection through a gift… That we should aspire…

AmericanBreakfastClosed in 2026Gone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico

Placitas Cafe – Placitas, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:11 PM

While it does have a nice ring to it, “beautiful downtown Placitas” probably won’t catch on the way “beautiful downtown Burbank” did when the catch phrase (and quite often, punch-line) was made famous first on Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In then on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Located just a few miles northeast of Hollywood, beautiful downtown Burbank is 34-blocks of retail, office, residential and entertainment destinations that include more than 200 shops and 90 restaurants. Beautiful downtown Placitas, on the other hand, is pretty much limited to the Homestead Village shopping center which is surrounded on all sides by capacious open space in a charming village back-dropped by the reddish Sandias. Instead of the high-density urban sprawl of Burbank, beautiful downtown Placitas is graced by panoramic views of hills dotted with dessert flora, weather-worn mesas and verdured mountains. The term “beautiful downtown Placitas” isn’t some sort of ironic inside joke among the village’s 3,000-plus citizens. Nor will you find the term splayed on Placitas real estate brochures or touristy village literature. Where you’ll most often read this term of endearment is on the Placitas Cafe’s blog. The Placitas Cafe is one of two restaurant anchor tenants within the Homestead…

AlbuquerqueBurgersClosed in 2019Gone But Not Forgotten

Little Red Hamburger Hut – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno1:07 PM

“I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.” – J. Wellington Wimpy Cultural shock! It’s been oft repeated that the United States and England are two nations separated by a common language. I had no idea how much the two nations are separated by more than language until 1979 when stationed at Royal Air Force Base Upper Heyford just outside of Oxford, England. Cultural differences were especially evident in dining experiences. Back then American fast food restaurants were as scarce in England as fish and chips restaurants were in the United States. McDonald’s, Burger King and Pizza Hut had just starting to make inroads in the megalopolis of London. In smaller cities, if we wanted an American hamburger, the only option was a chain of England-based hamburger restaurants named Wimpy’s. During my first visit to Wimpy’s there were many reminders we were not in America. First, service was on New Mexico time (and I say that with the utmost affection); the concept of fast food was apparently lost on the wait staff. Secondly, portions were parsimonious. The burgers weren’t the size of a frisbee the way American servicemen liked them. Soft drinks were merely eight-ounces, not the barrel-sized cups…

AlbuquerqueAmericanClosed in 2016Gone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico

Vernon’s Open Door – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno7:51 PM

However well-intended, the corporate world’s “open door policy” doesn’t always have the desired effect of establishing trust between employees and their managers. This became evident during my first corporate gig after leaving the Air Force. My boss, whom Jerry Seinfeld would describe as a “loud talker” spoke at a decibel level rivaling the University of New Mexico’s fabled Pit during a Lobo fast break. Compounded with the fact that our offices were housed in a pod of flimsy mobile offices affectionately called Jurassic Park and it was a recipe for disaster. Though held behind closed doors, one-on-one meetings were hardly private. Paper-thin walls and rickety doors meant everyone within a two block radius could hear my boss. Consequently employees remained apprised of matters–such as employee discipline, pay raises or promotions, for example–not intended for public consumption. At its very worse, we learned of a fellow employee’s dilemma as to which she should treat first, her chlamydia or her dandruff. For fear of bursting out in raucous laughter, we couldn’t look her in the face for a long time. Memories of those failed “open door policy” meetings flooded back to me at Vernon’s Open Door restaurant when my Kim and I…

AlbuquerqueAmericanClosed in 2015Gone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico

Cafe Bien – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:15 PM

My friend Hannah, a brilliant linguist who’s become rather expert in the etymology and evolution of languages, speech patterns and morphology would find it dismaying should she hear someone attribute the term “Romance language” to the seductive sweet nothings spoken by such onscreen Lotharios as Ricardo Montalban. With the mere utterance of “Corinthian leather,” Montalban could make women (and some men) swoon, but while his smooth intonations and thick, sophisticated accent may sound “romantic,” “Romance languages have nothing to do with love and romance. Romance languages (the R is always capitalized) are languages that developed out of the Latin used in the Roman Empire between the sixth and ninth centuries A.D.. By the beginning of the 21st century nearly one billion people claimed a Romance language as their mother tongue, 300 million people as a second language. The five most widely spoken Romance languages are Spanish (410 million), Portuguese (216 million), French (75 million), Italian (60 million), and Romanian (25 million). Romance languages still share several commonalities and a surprisingly high proportion of basic vocabulary. Though more a polyglot (if knowing cuss words in multiple languages qualifies me as such) than a linguist, my first inclination at hearing about Cafe…

AlbuquerqueAmericanBrunchClosed in 2020Diners Drive-Ins and DivesDog FriendlyFood Network Eats New MexicoGone But Not Forgotten

Standard Diner – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:15 AM

From the Standard Diner Facebook Page: It is with great sadness that Standard Diner will be closing its doors for good after dinner service on Monday, September 7th.  On Friday the 11th, our doors will reopen as The Range Cafe. While New Mexico is most assuredly the Land of Enchantment, most locals also accept that it’s also the “land of mañana” where things that can be put off until tomorrow usually are, where the pace of life is more relaxed and slower. George Adelo, Jr., an enterprising Pecos resident even coined (and copyrighted) a phrase to describe the New Mexican way: “Carpe Mañana”–Seize Tomorrow. The spirit of Carpe Mañana was certainly prevalent in the long-awaited, much-anticipated opening of the Standard Diner, a Matt DiGregory restaurant venture which in opening March 2nd, 2006, was nearly eight months behind its planned launch. If ever a restaurant has more than made up for lost time, it may be this one. DiGregory, a local restaurant impresario owns the Standard Diner with his brothers Chris, Vince and Jon. He also owns the very popular Range restaurants in Bernalillo and Albuquerque as well as the now defunct Rodeo Grill. The Brothers DiGregory couldn’t have found a…

AlbuquerqueBurgersClosed in 2023Gone But Not Forgotten

Griff’s – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno3:45 AM

NOTE: On Wednesday, July 5, Griff’s announced that it will be closing its Albuquerque location on July 6th. According to the post, there have been too many incidents at the location making it “unsafe and undesirable” to continue operating there. Griff’s has other locations in Texas and Louisiana. The company said it hopes to return to Albuquerque someday. Adults of my generation lament that what separates McDonald’s, Burger King and Wendy’s from the hamburger chains with which we grew up is certainly not a superior product. It doesn’t take much to figure out that the “big three” sit atop the lofty burger throne because of aggressive product innovation and clever marketing that captured the young demographic. The big burger threesome (big five if you include Burger Chef and Tastee Freez) of my generation–A&W, Bob’s Big Boy and Griff’s Burger Bar–certainly serve (or served) a better burger by far. In the Southwest, A&W appears to have been relegated to sharing space with Long John Silver’s. Bob’s Big Boy is but an enigmatic smile triggered when you drive by JB’s Family Restaurant and remember when that restaurant space was claimed by the Big Boy. Of the aforementioned triumvirate of my youth, only…

BurgersRating: N/R (Not Rated)SandwichSanta Fe

Bang Bite Filling Station – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno8:23 PM

“When people pile seven things onto one burger, it drives me nuts!” ~Bobby Flay Seven ingredients? That’s not a burger! It’s a hodgepodge, a medley, a potpourri! It’s everything including the kitchen sink. Perhaps other regions in America need the Iron Chef’s sage advice, but New Mexicans certainly don’t. For us, a burger with minimal ingredients is just common sense. That’s because we’ve got green chile and when you’ve got green chile, who needs anything else? In the Land of Enchantment, our green chile cheeseburger is sacrosanct, a celebrated cultural tradition and an iconic food. The very best green chile cheeseburgers are made with no more than three to five ingredients (including the green chile and cheese) and those ingredients are intended to complement the green chile, not mask it. In the Land of Enchantment, it’s almost a foregone conclusion that almost every restaurant, drive-in, diner, dive, joint, cafe, roadside stand, eatery, greasy spoon, lunch counter and bowling alley slinging burgers is going to brag about its green chile cheeseburger being the best to be found anywhere. That is everyone but Santa Fe’s Bang Bite Filling Station which gregarious owner-chef Enrique Guerrero contends doesn’t even offer a green chile cheeseburger.…

AlbuquerqueAmericanBar & GrillClosed in 2017Gone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico

The Library – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno11:58 PM

Although my Kim has now lived in New Mexico for more than twenty years, her functional Spanish hasn’t improved much (sadly this places her in the company of many native New Mexicans). She sings Spanish hymns like a songbird in church, perfectly enunciating each nuanced word, even when she has to roll her “R’s.” On rare but well-deserved occasions she can direct a slew of choice Spanish expletives at moronic motorists. She can also order all her favorite dishes at Mexican and New Mexican restaurants with fluency. What she can’t do is carry on or even understand a coherent conversation in Spanish. During her first visit to the Land of Enchantment, my Kim inventoried her vocabulary of Spanish words and terms in anticipation of meeting my mostly Spanish-speaking grandmothers. Interestingly, her limited vocabulary included such tongue-twisting words as “albondigas” (meatballs) and the phrase “donde esta la biblioteca” (where is the library?). Neither would serve her well in discourse with my grandmothers who were as worried about their command of the confounding English language as Kim had been about her Spanish. One early September morning, she asked if i had any suggestions for lunch. My response “vamos a la biblioteca” (let’s…

AlbuquerqueAmericanBurgersNew Mexico Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail: 2009Rating: Good

300 Club Bar & Grill – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno3:18 PM

300! In the parlance of the bowler, it signifies absolute perfection, twelve consecutive strikes. According to some trusted foodies, the 300 Club Bar & Grill in Albuquerque’s Skidmore’s Holiday Bowl on Lomas just east of San Pedro serves a mean green chile cheeseburger, a 12-strike masterpiece, a perfect 300. This is a burger so good, it was one of the twenty contestants for the inaugural Governor’s Green Chile Cheeseburger Challenge in 2009. We all know the stereotypes about bowling alley food. When it comes to food, most bowling alleys strike out. Ardent keglers are subjected to such catastrophic “cuisine” as perpetually rotating hot dogs seared to a leathery sheen under a heat lamp inferno, soppy messes of nachos bathed in gloppy processed cheese topped with gelatinous jalapeños and greasy onion rings with the texture of fried rubber bands and as oily as well-slicked lanes. Getting something edible at most bowling alleys is as tough as picking up a seven-ten split. The fact that the 300 Club Bar & Grill has a separate entrance from the rest of the bowling alley is a promising sign. That promise is bolstered by its utterly charming sports bar ambiance which is wholly unlike the…

AlbuquerqueAmericanBreakfastClosed in 2015Gone But Not ForgottenNew Mexico

Gravy – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno1:40 PM

“Gravy is the simplest, tastiest, most memory-laden dish I know how to make: a little flour, salt and pepper, crispy bits of whatever meat anchored the meal, a couple of cups of water or milk and slow stirring to break up lumps.” ~Dorothy Allison, American writer Some would say that the discovery (invention?) of gravy is one of mankind’s crowning achievements. Others would deride it as the work of the devil, likening gravy to a beguiling temptress which bends the will to its bidding. Dolly Parton acknowledges that “every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort.” It’s no surprise that similar to many of the world’s best tasting foods, gravy is generally fattening. Most commonly, it’s the byproduct of pan drippings and juices derived from cooking meat. Some among us who consider gravy one of mankind’s most glorious achievements (even as it flows through our veins) may salivate involuntarily when turning onto Central Avenue and espying a large sign reading simply “Gravy” subtitled with the three events with which gravy goes so well: “breakfast, lunch, dinner.” One of the most eagerly anticipated restaurant launches in recent memory, Gravy is the brainchild…