Proper Burger – Salt Lake City, Utah
Television would have you believe Mars and Venus have different ideas as to what constitutes the proper way to eat a burger. Representing Venus (women), as depicted in a Wendy’s commercial from the 1980s, is a geriatrically advanced woman who takes a small bite of her juicy burger then daintily wipes off the detritis with a napkin. Representing Mars (men) is Food Network superstar Guy Fieri. The platinum-coiffed restaurant impressario’s approach to properly eating a burger is mirrored by most of us Martians. It’s not for the faint of heart or children and you shouldn’t attempt it without a net. If the burger is what some of us more seasoned folks might call a “Dagwood” (characterized by its skyscraper height and multiple layers of meats, cheeses and condiments), Fieri will first assume the position–what he calls the “hunch.” First you put your burger on the counter and stand in front of it with your chest about twelve-inches from the edge of the counter. Lean forward so that your chest is at a 45-degree angle to the counter. Cradle the burger with both hands, resting your elbows on the counter. Angle the sandwich at a 45-degree angle to the counter with…