Category: Gone But Not Forgotten

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Jerusalem – Taste of the Holy Land – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:45 AM

Judaism, Christianity, and Islam are inextricably tied to the ancient city of Jerusalem, the epicenter of sacred sites both unique and common to all three religions.  One of the oldest cities in the world as well as Israel’s capital city, Jerusalem has a prominent role in both the Old and New Testament.  According to Bible Study Tools, “the name “Jerusalem” occurs 806 times in the Bible, 660 times in the Old Testament and 146 times in the New Testament; additional references to the city occur as synonyms.” Surprisingly, Jerusalem is not directly mentioned by name in the Qur’an, even in its Arabic translation of Al Quds. As a lifelong Catholic (with the bad knees to show for it), the significance…

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Canvas Artistry – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

“Edible art” isn’t just some trite phrase pedantic food critics use when food has aesthetic values that delight our senses. Mankind has been been intrigued by the concept of food as art since the dawning of rational thinking. Prehistoric cave paintings such as those in Les Trois Frères in Ariège, in southern France, depict families gathering around the fire to share the foods they had prepared, an event made possible by the discovery of fire. Fire, it goes without saying, was also the catalyst behind men first wearing aprons emblazoned with “kiss the cook.” Moving past prehistoric taggers scrawling graffiti on cave walls, edible art became more urban when Egyptians painted food on the walls of the great pyramids (ostensibly…

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The Acre – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno9:38 PM

Toula: Actually, um Ian’s a vegetarian. Uh, he doesn’t eat meat. Aunt Voula: He don’t eat no meat? HE DON’T EAT NO MEAT?! *Long silence* Oh that’s ok, I make lamb. ~Big Fat Greek Wedding A cross-sectional study conducted in 2006 by medical researchers in Austria concluded that “vegetarians are less healthy and have a lower quality of life than meat-eaters” and that “there is an association between a vegetarian diet and an increased risk of certain chronic diseases.” The “chronic diseases” cited in the study were allergies, cancer and mental illness. While this study and its methodologies have largely been discredited, my former colleague Matt Mauler, a fanatical meat-and-potatoes paramour, likes to cite this study when someone “preaches” the…

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El Cotorro – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

There’s a scene in the 2006 lucha libre (Mexican professional wrestling) comedy film Nacho Libre in which Nacho’s ectomorphic tag team partner Esqueleto (“the skeleton”) orders two grilled, buttered and chile-dusted elotes (corn-on-the-cob) from a street vendor. Esqueleto graciously attempts to hand one to Nacho who rebuffs the offer, knocks the elotes to the ground and bellows “get that corn out of my face!” That antagonistic act so enraged Esqueleto that he leaped on Nacho’s back and attempted to throw his corpulent partner to the ground. The sight of the two golden elotes tinged with red chile on the ground was funny at the time, however, after consuming the elotes at El Cotorro, we would consider knocking elotes to the…

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Ale’s Cakes – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Hypocrisy thy name is Gil. “For someone who whined so much about a one-hour (each way) commute to work, you’re willing to drive a hundred miles for lunch” my Kim lamented.  Our lunch destination wasn’t nearly a hundred miles away, but when you’re hungry it probably seems that way.  It would have seemed even further had we traversed the entirety of the street in which our intended restaurant is located. In fact, from its starting point to its terminus, that drive would truly have seemed interminable through all its winding and congested permutations. The street of which I speak is Albuquerque’s own Coors Blvd, otherwise known as New Mexico State Road 45.  According to Wikipedia, Coors Blvd is 22,918-miles long…er,…

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Taqueria Los Amigos – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

“On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air” ~Hotel California, The Eagles in 1977, when the Eagles’ immortal rock anthem Hotel California was released as a single, most radio hits clocked in at about three minutes.  Three minutes is just about as long as Hotel California’s hauntingly compelling intro and the legendary guitar-duet-slash-duel-slash-musical-conversation between Don Felder’s double-necked Gibson EDS-1275 and Joe Walsh’s Fender Telecaster. The high voltage, era-defining song with its intensely intricate instrumental work, soaring harmonies and enthralling lyrics make Hotel California an iconic indictment of the dark underbelly of the American dream and its excesses. Hotel California’s allegorical, introspective lyrics alone make it one of the most…

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TIKKA HUT PIZZERIA AND KABOB HOUSE – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

“I’ll give you three guesses to tell me what tabula rasa means,” I challenged my friend and Wordle phenom Carlos.  “That’s easy,” my erudite amigo proclaimed, “Tabula Rasa was a silent screen actress in the 1920s.”  “Close,” I replied, “but you’re thinking about Tallulah Bankhead.”  “I was just kidding,” he demurred, “Everyone knows tabula rasa is a Mediterranean salad.”  “You’re getting closer,” I joked, “but the Mediterranean salad you’re thinking about is tabouli.”  On his third attempt, Carlos gave me the right answer: “I’m drawing a blank.” Tabula rasa, in fact, translates from Latin to “blank slate.” In psychology as well as in epistemology (theory of knowledge), tabula rasa refers to the idea that we are solely the product of…

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El Roi Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

You know you’ve been involved in project management for too long when the only thing that comes to mind when told about a restaurant named “El Roi” is “why would a restaurant be named for a Return on Investment (ROI).”  For those of us who have worked in Information Technology, ROI is a financial ratio used to calculate the benefit an investor will receive in relation to their investment cost.  Restaurants often have a poor return of investment–not just in financial capital, but in human capital.  Restaurants require a significant investment in time by owners as well as kitchen and “front of the house” staffs and the financial return isn’t exactly lucrative.  My Kim theorized that Roi is probably a…

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The Feel Good – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno5:42 PM

“Whoa! I feel good, I knew that I would, now I feel good, I knew that I would So good, so good, ’cause I got you So good, so good, ’cause I got you So good, so good, ’cause I got you.” ~James Brown The lyrics to the “Godfather of Soul’s” signature song aren’t etched on the windows or door of The Feel Good, but several other thematic aphorism are.  There’s Virginia Wolf’s quote, “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”  M.F.K. Fisher’s “Sharing food with another human being is an ultimate act that should not be indulged in lightly” is etched on the door while Alan D. Wolfelt’s sage “Food is symbolic…

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The Local Brewhouse – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Before reading any further, the biggest take-away from this review is that the Local Brewhouse serves the best burger in Rio Rancho.  That’s not only what the marquee says.  It’s what City of Vision diners know.  My Kim and I, too.   “Service is horrible”  “The management has to train there employees.”  “Worst service ever! I can’t stress on how bad the service was.”  “Nice views. Lousy service and rude staff.”  “Service sucks. Waited 20mins between beers.”   Those are one-star reviews on Yelp for The Local Brewhouse in Rio Rancho.  At the extreme opposite are five star reviews extolling the service some Yelp reviewers found unacceptable: “Shout out to Rhiannon, our server for friendly, prompt, and efficient service.”  “Had…

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Kickstand Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

In 2016, The Plough Hotel in North Canterbury, New Zealand banned Lycra-clad customers in an attempt to remove any “unsightly bumps and bulges.”  The hotel owner declared Lycra “unsuitable,” explaining “We get a nice group of customers out here, some elderly folk. When you’re trying to concentrate on your breakfast you just want to see the sausages on your plate.” Then as if expecting a confrontation from the lumpy, bumpy bikers, he issued a challenge: “If there’s hordes of cyclists outside threatening to bash us with their bike pumps we can always barricade ourselves in, we’ve got a bit of food and drink here so we should be able to outlast them.” Lycra bike wear may not be de rigueur…