Chicago Pizza Kitchen – Albuquerque, New Mexico

There is A LOT to see at the Chicago Pizza Kitchen (CPK).  My Chicago born-and-bred bride loved the framed photographs of the Windy City’s incomparable skyline and distinct architecture.  Bulls and Bears fans (not a reference to the stock market) will enjoy perusing photos and banners of Chicago’s sports teams.  Students of the age of chivalry will gravitate to the restaurant’s northern-most corners where knights in shining armor (literally) stand guard.  Military veterans like me will reminisce about our own experiences in service to our country as we peruse the photos depicting the military service of Chicago Pizza Kitchen’s owners.  Some of us will linger longest at the POW-MIA table, one of the most poignant and thought-provoking sights at any…

Royal Hyderabad – Albuquerque, New Mexico

When the New York Times described biryani as “the Indian equivalent of arroz con pollo or paella,” legions of Southwest Asians and culinary cognoscenti cried “Fake News!”  The media  megalith with the masthead that boasts of “all the news that’s fit to print” may as well have declared the Taj Majal as the architectural equivalent of Randy’s Donuts in Los Angeles or the Longaburger Company Building  in Ohio.  It’s highly unlikely Latin America and Spain are nearly as passionate about arroz con pollo or paella as denizens of the exotic subcontinent are about biryani, a dish The Better India boasts “epitomizes the zenith of Indian cuisine.  Zenith–that means biryani is at the very top, as good as it can possibly be.  So there, New York Times! Just by…

Maharaja Indian Cuisine – Albuquerque, New Mexico

In his Netflix “23 Hours to Kill” special, comedian Jerry Seinfeld posed the question:  “What is the idea of the buffet?  Well, things are bad.  How can we make it worse?  Why don’t we put people that are already struggling with portion control into some kind of debauched Caligula food orgy of unlimited human consumption?”  Frankly, that’s a notion I’ve contemplated myself, but it’s not the only reason I don’t partake of buffets.  As an independent observer of the culinary condition, reviewing buffets–irrespective of how good they might be–is not a true indicator of a restaurant’s quality.   For that, you’ve got to order off the menu. Please don’t get me wrong.  I’m not anti-buffetite.   My Kim loves buffets.  So does…

Tula’s Kitchen (Pan American) – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“Pizza makes you a hero in the eyes of your kids. “Daddy got pizza!” You are higher status walking in the door with a pizza than if you were returning from a war with a Purple Heart.” ― Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat Virtually since its inception, Dion’s Pizza has been a beloved Albuquerque staple–as much a Duke City institition as the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta, the Sandia Peak Tramway and the Albuquerque Isotopes.   Denizens of the Duke City love Dion’s, a prolific purveyor of pulchritudinous pies since 1978.  With thirteen locations in Albuquerque alone as well as several others throughout the state, Dion’s pizza has become a mainstay not only at the family home, but at business functions.  It’s not only…

Stackers Burger Co. – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

In baseball it’s called the “Triple Crown,”an incredibly rare achievement in which a player leads the league in average, home runs, and runs batted in.  To win the triple crown, a player must tremendous power to hit for distance as well as a very keen eye to hit baseballs thrown at nearly 100 miles per hour and place them on the field in positions that result in driving in runs.  In horse racing, the term Triple Crown represents a series of horse races for three-year-old Thoroughbreds, consisting of the Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes, and Belmont Stakes.  To win all three of these races is even more rare. There’s another Triple Crown competition that’s even more challenging and difficult to win.  That’s Edible’s Green…

Chopstix – Albuquerque, New Mexico

And I find chopsticks frankly distressing. Am I alone in thinking it odd that a people ingenious enough to invent paper, gunpowder, kites and any number of other useful objects, and who have a noble history extending back 3,000 years haven’t yet worked out that a pair of knitting needles is no way to capture food? ~Bill Bryson The precise date in which chopsticks were first used has been lost in time. Archaeological evidence found in burial plots indicates they are at least 3,200 years old though some scholars believe they’ve been around even longer than that. Even the evolution of chopsticks is in debate. Some surmise that chopsticks evolved from the practice of using wooden sticks to stir food…

Kaktus Brewing Company – Bernalillo, New Mexico

Most of us have known a wine snob or two. You know the type. They refer to themselves as oenophiles, a fancy way of saying “connoisseur or lover of wines.” They believe themselves to possess refined palates and won’t drink a wine that isn’t as cultured as they are. Even then, they first have to check the color and opacity of the wine. Then they twirl their glass for ten minutes or so before sticking their nose into the glass (like anteaters at an ant hole) and sniffing the wine noisily. They then proudly proclaim the wine has notes of oak, berries or butter. Their next step is to gargle with the wine, sloshing it between their cheeks and gums…

Cinnamon Sugar and Spice Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Back in the dark ages when I grew up–long before America became the kinder, gentler Utopia it is today (seething with cynicism)–it would have been inconceivable that boys and girls would receive trophies just for “participating.” Back then, we were expected to be competitive about everything. The battle of the genders was waged at home every night with my brothers and I pitting our brawn and bulk against the brains and gumption of our sisters, two of whom would go on to graduate as valedictorians and all of them much smarter than the recalcitrant Garduño boys. It rankled us to no end when our sisters reminded us constantly that “boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails‘”…

Hello Deli – Albuquerque, New Mexico

HELLO DELI (to the tune of Hello Dolly) “Hello Deli, this is Joe, Deli would you please send up a nice corned beef on rye. A box of RITZ, Deli and some Schlitz, Deli Some chopped liver and a sliver of your, apple pie. Turkey Legs, Deli hard boiled eggs, Deli and a plate of those potatoes you french fry, oh Don’t be late, Deli I just can’t wait Deli, Deli without breakfast, I’d just die.” ~ Frank Jacobs (Writer for MAD Magazine) In 2016, BBC Travel lamented the imminent demise of the New York City deli.  “Not the corner markets or bodegas that appear on nearly every New York block,” but “the true New York City delicatessen: the brick and…

Nora’s Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

As a precocious sprout growing up in an agrarian hamlet in Northern New Mexico, I dreamt of travel and adventure.  My voracious reading habits included hours immersed in world book encyclopedias, world atlases and National Geographic magazines.   By my eighth birthday, I was creating maps of the world free-hand and knew more about history and our planet than most of my teachers.  I longed to visit and plunge myself in wonders and cultures that existed for me only in books.  My longing to experience the world outside of Peñasco was, in fact, the primary reason I joined the Air Force days out of high school.  While my service career did broaden my experiences, my desire to see and do even…

Sixty Six Acres – Albuquerque, New Mexico

My high school football coach Jesus Bautista used to call his team “chiquitos pero picosos,” a Spanish term meaning “small but piquant” (like New  Mexico’s chiles). At 6’1” and a svelte 175 pounds in full uniform, I was the biggest guy on the team.  That made me an enforcer of sorts when players on the other teams tried to bully my smaller teammates. For the most part, I was able to handle the biggest, meanest, roughest players we lined up against. The one exception was when we played Albuquerque Indian School. To keep us from touching their quarterback, the Braves positioned a steel wall in the backfield, an impenetrable barrier President Trump would envy. Disguised as a fullback, that human…