Zacatecas Tacos & Tequila – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

The diminishing of the American diner’s disposable income has posed a significant challenge for restaurateurs, particularly those who specialize in fine-dining fare. In a downtrodden economy, Americans are less willing to spend their hard-earned money on meals that cost almost as much as a utilities payment. Instead, the dining consumer has increasingly turned toward a more casual dining experience. This dining trend has prompted enterprising chefs to overhaul and upgrade comfort food favorites. In recent years, restaurateurs have transformed burgers from a ubiquitous fast-food favorite into a gourmet casual experience showcasing pricier, premium meat patties and sundry upscale ingredients. Similarly,…

Chile Rio Mexican Grill – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

In as delicious a dichotomy as you’ll find on any novel, the chapter from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory which most terrorized and traumatized children actually provides glorious fantasy material for many adults.  In that memorable chapter, a gluttonous brat child named Augustus Gloop falls into a Chocolate River and is sucked through a pipe into a room in which fudge is manufactured.  By being squeezed through the pipe, Augustus’s once endomorphic body (described in the novel as “fat bulging from every fold, with two greedy eyes peering out of his dough ball of a head“) is transformed and…

Cafe Istanbul – Albuquerque, New Mexico

One of the most common responses given as to why people choose to retire in Santa Fe is “because it’s so different.” While it may be true that the “City Different” is different from where respondents came, some native New Mexicans like my buddy Mike Muller postulate that Santa Fe has become the “City Same.” He’s talking about the architectural standards and city ordinances whose uniformity threaten to make Santa Fe a model of adobe-hued homogeneity. Mike points out that Santa Fe’s boring “sameness” hasn’t quite caught up with Albuquerque which in comparison is the rebellious kid in oversized jeans…

Vinaigrette – Santa Fe, New Mexico

During a 1994 episode of Seinfeld, Elaine’s boss, Mr. Pitt becomes obsessed with finding a spaceship obfuscated within a stereogram, a computer-generated image that presents an optical illusion in which a 3D image is hidden within a single 2D image to be revealed only when the viewer focuses his or her eyes correctly.  To the detriment of a pressing business deal, Mr. Pitts loses three days trying to find the spaceship.  First he tries blurring his eyes as if staring straight through the picture before eventually finding success by employing an intensely deep focus. Placitas resident Gary W. Priester calls…

Paisano’s Italian Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

For years, the Duke City dining scene has been infiltrated by a plethora of cookie cutter Italian “chain gangs.” Despite deep corporate pockets, the flash and panache of Madison Avenue marketing machines and scripted, saccharine service, the chains have failed to drive away the beloved local mom and pop establishments to which Duke City diners remain steadfastly loyal?  One of the very best of the mom-and-pop lot is Paisano’s Italian Restaurant which was launched in the 1970s by  Johnny Camuglia.  Paisano’s gained a faithful following well before the plague-like incursion of the Olive Garden, Johnny Carino’s and others of that…

Savoy Bar & Grill – Albuquerque, New Mexico

In 1881, the Savoy Theater in London’s trendy West End was built to showcase the brilliant Victorian era collaboration of W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan who composed fourteen comic operas.  The Savoy was the first public building in the world to be lit entirely by electricity.  It also has the distinction of being fronted by the only road in Britain where traffic is required by law to drive on the right-hand side. In 2006, the Savoy Bar & Grill was built in Albuquerque to showcase yet another brilliant collaboration, that of identical twin brothers Keith and Kevin Roessler who also…

Yummi House – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Years ago, I had the misfortune of working with a technical writer who couldn’t spell his way out of a paper bag.  His punctuation was pathetic, his vocabulary vacuous and his writing peppered with malapropisms (the incorrect use of a word by substituting a similar-sounding word with a different meaning).  Some comedians have made an art out of malapropisms, but there wasn’t anything funny about this terrible technical writer.  How he passed English classes at a state school which will remain nameless, much less become a technical writer, is beyond me.  Fortunately it didn’t take our employer long to realize…

Zorba’s Fine Greek Dining – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

“Tell me what you do with the food you eat, and I’ll tell you what you are. Some turn their food into fat and manure, some into work and good humor, and others, I’m told, into God.” ~Zorba the Greek The most obvious theme of the Nikos Kazantzakis novel Zorba the Greek is that life should be lived to its fullest–that its pleasures should be pursued with a lusty vigor.  The embodiment of that attitude was the eponymous, life-affirming protagonist Alexis Zorba whose unrestrained joie de vivre didn’t diminish with advancing geriatric progression.  If anything, Zorba’s exuberance and appetite for…

Fratelli Bistro – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

The ingredients with which you can top your pizza are limited only by your imagination. Crocodile and caviar? Been there, done that. In fact, a New York restaurateur will sell you a thousand dollar pie topped with four of the priciest caviars in the world. Blueberries, shrimp, cookies? That’s pretty tame stuff. A Swiss-based pizza chef laces his pizza with spiders and snakes (Jim Stafford, where are you now?). The Japanese propensity for invention is on display with a “mega pizza” monstrosity (Godzilla? Mothra?) that starts with a crust constructed of hot dogs wrapped in bacon and rolls of molten…

El Pollo Real – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Jay : I’m home! Mmm, what smells so good? Gloria : I’m making chunchullo, a traditional Colombian dish, for dinner with the family tonight. Chunchullo. Jay : What is that… like, uh, tacos? Gloria : Yes, like tacos. Manny : No, it isn’t. It’s the small intestine of a pig. Jay : Oh, geez. Why can’t we eat regular food like normal people? Understandably, to this gastronome, the funniest scenes depicting the cultural clash between Gloria Pritchett and her family and friends involve food.  In the true tradition of the Latin stereotype, Gloria, the curvaceous Colombian bombshell portrayed by Sofia…

La Sirenita – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

My good friend and frequent dining companion Bill Resnik is one of the most altruistic and selfless people I have the privilege of knowing. Every year he grows out his naturally white beard so he can portray Santa Claus at hospitals and nursing homes throughout the metropolitan area. Because he stands 6’5″ most of his friends look like elves standing next to him and there’s probably not a chimney he can slide down, but when he dons his padded red and white Santa suit, he IS Santa. With his characteristic light-hearted and whimsical approach, he keeps children of all ages…