Category: Breakfast

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Ale’s Cakes – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Hypocrisy thy name is Gil. “For someone who whined so much about a one-hour (each way) commute to work, you’re willing to drive a hundred miles for lunch” my Kim lamented.  Our lunch destination wasn’t nearly a hundred miles away, but when you’re hungry it probably seems that way.  It would have seemed even further had we traversed the entirety of the street in which our intended restaurant is located. In fact, from its starting point to its terminus, that drive would truly have seemed interminable through all its winding and congested permutations. The street of which I speak is Albuquerque’s own Coors Blvd, otherwise known as New Mexico State Road 45.  According to Wikipedia, Coors Blvd is 22,918-miles long…er,…

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ABQ Burrito – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Perhaps the only good thing that came from the Cabrona Virus was that many of us get to work from home.  Otherwise, the cost of commuting to work in this “build back better” economy would probably approach our meager wages.  Though not commuting to work spares us from cashing in our 4.1Ks in order to purchase fuel for our gas guzzlers, there are still times when we have to drive somewhere.  Like when we have to visit Albertson’s or Smith’s to scour the half-empty shelves for luxury items such as baby formula.   With “Putin’s inflation” making gas virtually unaffordable, budget-conscious consumers are desperate for alternatives to the land yachts we drive.  We’re walking to the mailbox instead of backing…

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The Range – Bernalillo, New Mexico

Gil Garduno2:43 AM

The phoenix of ancient Egyptian mythology was a sacred firebird of beautiful red and gold plumage said to live for centuries. At the end of its life, the phoenix built itself a nest of cinnamon twigs which it then ignited. Both the phoenix and the nest burned fiercely and were reduced to ashes from which a new phoenix arose. Similarly, the Range Cafe in Bernalillo was claimed by a fiery conflagration only to rise up from the ashes to exceed its former glory to become one of the most popular restaurants in New Mexico. Like the phoenix, the Range is a rare breed–one of the few locally owned and operated (non-chain) restaurants which at any given time (make that, almost…

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Garcia’s Kitchen – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno5:21 PM

One of the central themes of William Faulkner’s magnus opus Absalom, Absalom! is that no two people experience the same thing. Of the four characters who narrate the story, none of them is completely reliable because each has a personal bias, a unique frame of reference based on personal experiences to call upon. Readers are left to determine those biases and how they affect the telling of the story. With the passage of time, one of the characters experiences the memory of the events differently than she experienced the events when they happened. Similarly, no two diners experience the same meal. Sure, they may partake of the very same entrees, but how they perceive their dining experience may be tainted…

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Kickstand Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

In 2016, The Plough Hotel in North Canterbury, New Zealand banned Lycra-clad customers in an attempt to remove any “unsightly bumps and bulges.”  The hotel owner declared Lycra “unsuitable,” explaining “We get a nice group of customers out here, some elderly folk. When you’re trying to concentrate on your breakfast you just want to see the sausages on your plate.” Then as if expecting a confrontation from the lumpy, bumpy bikers, he issued a challenge: “If there’s hordes of cyclists outside threatening to bash us with their bike pumps we can always barricade ourselves in, we’ve got a bit of food and drink here so we should be able to outlast them.” Lycra bike wear may not be de rigueur…

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The Flying Star – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno4:39 PM

In the ancient Chinese art and science of Feng Shui, flying stars are used to assess the quality of the energy flow (qi) in a given place at a given time. The positive and negative auras of a building are charted using precise mathematical formulas to determine the wealth, academic, career, success, relationships and health of a building’s inhabitant. By understanding the course of harmful and beneficial flying stars, appropriate Feng Shui cures can be employed to mitigate the effects of those harmful stars while enhancing the positive effects of the beneficial stars. While owners Jean and Mark Bernstein may not have renamed their successful local restaurant chain for the Feng Shui principles of flying stars, there’s no denying the…

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Central Grill and Coffee House – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno9:26 AM

It’s been said that “when you feed those in need, you are feeding your soul.”  That is especially true when the giver is practicing selfless giving, a conscious, intentional approach to giving that not only benefits others, but comes during a time when the giver is in dire need of help as well.  When the New Mexico state government’s approach to the Cabrona Virus virtually closed down or limited restaurant operations across the state, it’s an understatement to say restaurateurs were really hurting.  Dozens of restaurants across the Land of Enchantment closed. Hundreds of employees were laid off.   It was during these trying times that several restaurateurs demonstrated truly heroic altruism, showing precisely what it means to be a…

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Biscuit Boy – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

In Boris Pasternak’s Dr Zhivago, a sagacious old Russian czarist caught up in the communist revolution lamented “Scratch a Russian and you will find a peasant.”  To paraphrase that immortal line “Scratch a cook and you’ll find a chemist.”  Think I’ve been ingesting pharmaceuticals?  Maybe you should ask Deonte “Dee” Halsey, the affable owner of Biscuit Boy about the influence of chemistry in cooking.  He would know!  Dee was actually a research scientist working for the U.S. Department of Architecture before figuring out teaching science actually pays more than doing science.  Dee has been teaching science and math for more than two decades now, imparting knowledge and wisdom to high school, middle school and elementary school students.  For the past two…

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Barelas Coffee House – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:16 AM

Quick, name the oldest neighborhood in Albuquerque. Most people would say Old Town which was settled in 1706 near the banks of the Rio Grande. Most people would be wrong. The oldest neighborhood in Albuquerque is actually the Barelas neighborhood, formally established as a ranching settlement in the late 1600s. The history of the central Rio Grande region began at and expanded from Barelas, once a thriving hub of commerce bustling with activity. Both the Camino Real, the royal road to Mexico City and Route 66, America’s mother road passed through the Barelas neighborhood. Barelas was the seat of a flourishing railroad enterprise which facilitated a burgeoning economy.  The neighborhood began a precipitous decline in the 1950s when odoriferous emanations…

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Los Potrillos – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Gil Garduno2:39 AM

Faced with a situation that renders us incredulous, many of us might yammer incoherently, complain vociferously or maybe even utter colorful epithets. Such moments, it seems, are best expressed with succinct precision, a rare skill mastered by a select few wordsmiths from which eloquence flows regardless of situation–polymaths such as the late Anthony Bourdain, a best-selling author, world traveler, renowned chef and “poet of the common man.” Flummoxed at the discovery of a Chili’s restaurant a mere five miles from the Mexican border, I might have ranted and raved about another inferior chain restaurant and its parody of Mexican food. With nary a hint of contempt, Bourdain instead compared the spread of Chili’s restaurants across America to herpes. How utterly…

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Curious Toast Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

“Toasting makes me uncomfortable, but toast I love. Never start the day without a good piece of toast. In fact, let’s toast to toast.” ~George Costanza You might think that only a short, stocky, slow witted bald man would live a life so mundane as to even consider making a toast to a good piece of toast.  That may have been the case even just a few years ago when many of us languished under the covers until the very last second then wolfed down a dry and uninspiring piece of toast while gulping a scalding cup of coffee.  With crumbs cascading down our chins and onto our button-down shirts, we rushed to our appointed rounds, destined to arrive at…