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AlbuquerqueBreakfastNew MexicanRating: Good

Garcia’s Kitchen – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno5:21 PM

One of the central themes of William Faulkner’s magnus opus Absalom, Absalom! is that no two people experience the same thing. Of the four characters who narrate the story, none of them is completely reliable because each has a personal bias, a unique frame of reference based on personal experiences to call upon. Readers are left to determine those biases and how they affect the telling of the story. With the passage of time, one of the characters experiences the memory of the events differently than she experienced the events when they happened. Similarly, no two diners experience the same…

AlbuquerqueRating: ExcellentVietnamese

Saigon Restaurant – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno1:54 AM

According to some stereotypes, when you eat Chinese food, you’ll be hungry an hour later.    That stereotype is known as the “Chinese food paradox.”   One of the culprits behind that stereotype is rice, a very starchy food which metabolizes quickly.  Others blame monosodium glutamate (MSG) when hunger creeps in shortly after finishing a meal. Italian food is also shrouded in stereotype. “The trouble with eating Italian food,” according to British writer George Miller, “is that five or six days later you’ll be hungry again.” With Italian food–at least Americanized Italian food served in some of the ubiquitous chains–portions are…

AlbuquerqueAsianNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)Vietnamese

Bamboo by Kulantro – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno10:32 AM

Hawaiian pizza, black licorice, blue cheese, anchovies, candy corn, cilantro…these are among the pantheon of foods Readers Digest says everyone either loves or hates. And by “everyone,” Readers Digest includes such culinary glitterati as Julia Child who expressed her loathing for for cilantro in a 2002 interview with Larry King.   The towering chef  proclaimed she detested cilantro, saying it has a “dead taste” to her.  Food Network personality Ina Gartner is even more blatant:  “I just hate it,” she related in a Munchie’s podcast.  “To me, it’s so strong and it actually tastes like soap to me, but it’s…

AmericanBrewery-PubBurgersClosed in 2025Dog FriendlyGone But Not ForgottenNew MexicoRio Rancho

The Local Brewhouse – Rio Rancho, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Before reading any further, the biggest take-away from this review is that the Local Brewhouse serves the best burger in Rio Rancho.  That’s not only what the marquee says.  It’s what City of Vision diners know.  My Kim and I, too.   “Service is horrible”  “The management has to train there employees.”  “Worst service ever! I can’t stress on how bad the service was.”  “Nice views. Lousy service and rude staff.”  “Service sucks. Waited 20mins between beers.”   Those are one-star reviews on Yelp for The Local Brewhouse in Rio Rancho.  At the extreme opposite are five star reviews extolling…

Dog FriendlyMexicanNew MexicoRating: N/R (Not Rated)Rio RanchoTacos

Tap N Taco – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Imagine Marty McPlata, a 17 year old Rio Rancho High School student who gets transported back in time seven years to 2015. With the help of his mad scientist friend Bill Resnikoff, he makes his way back to the future to the year from which he left–2022.  Significant changes and burgeoning growth have transpired in the City of Vision since he left.  Among one of the improvements by subtraction is the absence of one of the city’s three Burger King restaurants, a multi-national chain he drove past only because it was on the way to Corrales. Marty smiled at the…

AlbuquerqueChickenMexicanNew MexicoRating: Very Good

El Rey Del Pollo – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Gil Garduno10:29 AM

My environmentally-conscious, Prius-driving friend Bruce “Sr. Plata” Silver has a much smaller carbon footprint than that carbon credit-trading hypocrite Al Gore.  No environmental activist would ever condemn Sr. Plata for fouling the air and water with a large amount of greenhouse gas emissions. Instead, he leaves large “al carbon fingerprints,” the finger-licking kind you get from frequenting restaurants which specialize in pollo al carbon, chicken prepared over charcoal. Pollo al carbon has spoiled Sr. Plata. He craves those juicy, spatchcocked, golden-skinned birds speckled with black char, chicken so meaty and delicious it makes store-bought rotisserie chickens look positively anorexic in…

ItalianRating: OutstandingRio Rancho

JOE’S PASTA HOUSE – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

Once a year, despite my protestations and whining, I agree to take my Kim to the Olive Garden. It’s a deal we have, albeit one that makes me feel like Faust in the Christopher Marlowe play. Faust, for the non-English majors among you, was a scholar who sells his soul to the devil in exchange for unlimited knowledge and worldly pleasures. In my case, the deal is a visit to Olive Garden once a year in exchange for all the strange and exotic restaurants I want to visit the rest of the year. I sure got the rotten end of…

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Kickstand Cafe – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

In 2016, The Plough Hotel in North Canterbury, New Zealand banned Lycra-clad customers in an attempt to remove any “unsightly bumps and bulges.”  The hotel owner declared Lycra “unsuitable,” explaining “We get a nice group of customers out here, some elderly folk. When you’re trying to concentrate on your breakfast you just want to see the sausages on your plate.” Then as if expecting a confrontation from the lumpy, bumpy bikers, he issued a challenge: “If there’s hordes of cyclists outside threatening to bash us with their bike pumps we can always barricade ourselves in, we’ve got a bit of…

New MexicoPizzaRating: ExcellentRio Rancho

Davido’s Pizza – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Gil Garduno3:42 AM

Some might call the American Realty and Petroleum Company (AMREP for short) a pioneering visionary for its early 1960s purchase of over 50,000 acres on the dusty Sandoval County plains that are now Rio Rancho. Others use different–and not necessarily as complimentary–adjectives to describe the land speculator whose clever marketing attracted hundreds of New Yorkers (among others) to the then untamed western fringes overlooking the Rio Grande. They came because Rio Rancho was a “lucrative investment” with half acre lots going for under $800 in the 1960s. They came because Rio Rancho offered “fishing, camping, swimming and golfing in a…

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Al Alwan’s Cafe – Albuquerque New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

“I hope I live long enough to see the children of Palestine, Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria wake up to the sounds of birds not bombs.” ~Gigi Hadid Historians believe the name Syria derives from the Ancient Greek word “Seirios,” meaning, “sun-bright, glowing, blazing, and shining.” In Latin the equivalent term “Sirius” was used not only to denote the brightest star in the night sky and most prominent star in the constellation Canis Major (the greater dog), but to indicate “people from Syria.”  Officially today, Syria is known as the Syrian Arab Republic.  Lying in the east coast of the Mediterranean…

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Cafe Nom Nom – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

Gil Garduno12:01 AM

NOTE:  Cafe Nom Nom no longer operates out of the Boxing Bear Brewery.  The Nom Nom Facebook page seems to indicate it now operates out of a food truck, but no information is provided as to days in which it is available to diners. “Nom nom.” It sounds innocent enough. Parents–yes, including parents of four-legged fur babies–utter it in baby talk intonations to get our children to eat something, especially when that something is “good for them” but doesn’t actually look or taste good. Nom nom was, of course, the favorite expression of Sesame Street’s Cookie Monster as he ravenously…