Vinaigrette – Santa Fe, New Mexico

During a 1994 episode of Seinfeld, Elaine’s boss, Mr. Pitt becomes obsessed with finding a spaceship obfuscated within a stereogram, a computer-generated image that presents an optical illusion in which a 3D image is hidden within a single 2D image to be revealed only when the viewer focuses his or her eyes correctly.  To the detriment of a pressing business deal, Mr. Pitts loses three days trying to find the spaceship.  First he tries blurring his eyes as if staring straight through the picture before eventually finding success by employing an intensely deep focus. Placitas resident Gary W. Priester calls creating 3D stereographic images his “all-consuming passion for almost 15 years.”  Gary has authored three books on stereogram images and…

Joe’s Dining – Santa Fe, New Mexico

In the American vernacular, there is no male name which denotes “average” more than Joe. The terms “Average Joe,” “Ordinary Joe” and “Joe Sixpack” are used to convey a completely average, down-to-earth working class male just as Ordinary, Average or Plain Jane are used to describe average women. These terms are used more as general descriptors than they are for anyone in specific. When someone does something extraordinary or special, the expression “no ordinary Joe” is often used. Joe’s Dining in Santa Fe does its best to define just who Joe is:  Joe is everyman.  He is you, he is me, he is the guy next door, 
the gal next door.  He is José, Giuseppe, Joseph and all female renditions…

Route 66 Malt Shop – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

In a May, 2009 edition of New Mexico Magazine feature celebrating “20 reasons Rail is Cool Now,” the magazine’s staff and contributors shared the best things to experience via the New Mexico Railrunner Express.”  A Duke City notable was root beer at the Route 66 Malt Shop and Grill, then about three miles from the nearest Railrunner depot.  The magazine encouraged readers to “order a frosty mug of homemade award-winning root beer, or make it a float.”  While you’re at it, the magazine suggested “sinking your teeth into the signature Blue Cheese Green Chile Burger.  Dee-lish.” Ironically just as the magazine was hitting the newsstands, the Route 66 Malt Shop’s west-facing windows were scrawled with the alarming words “Lost Our Lease,…

San Marcos Cafe – Santa Fe, New Mexico

Contrary to some popular opinion, roosters don’t crow just to be noisy or annoying. They crow as a sign of territorial advertising; they’re protecting their turf. At San Marcos Cafe, the cacophonous din of crowing roosters is understandable considering the throngs of hungry patrons infringing on their turf. There was one famous fowl at the San Marcos Cafe who didn’t chicken out at the sight of guests.  Buddy the Chicken, master of all he surveyed, served as the restaurant’s unofficial valet parking attendant and maitre de.  Nattily attired in polychromatic plumage and a black bow tie, Buddy welcomed one all and actually answered to his name.  When he passed away in 1996, he received an above-the-fold obituary in the newspaper.…

Arthur Bryant’s – Kansas City, Missouri

Shortly after Arthur Bryant died in 1982, the Kansas City Star published a cartoon showing St. Peter greeting Arthur at the gates of heaven and asking, “Did you bring sauce?” Perhaps not even in Heaven can such a wondrous sauce be concocted. Arthur Bryant’s is probably the most famous barbecue restaurant in the country, if not the world–an institution to which celebrity and political glitterati make pilgrimages. If Schlitz was the “beer that made Milwaukee famous,” then Arthur Bryant’s is the barbecue that made Kansas City one of America’s four pillars of barbecue (along with Memphis, Texas and the Carolinas). In a city where barbecue is exalted, Arthur Bryant’s may no longer be indisputably the one restaurant everyone mentions as…

Danny Edwards Blvd. BBQ – Kansas City, Missouri

Kansas City is known as the “city of fountains.”  It’s also known as the “world’s barbecue capital.” If locals had their way, ever the twain would meet and the city’s fountains would be burbling not with water, but with barbecue sauce.  Barbecue sauce runs through the veins of local barbecue aficionados.  It’s an integral part of the city’s heritage.  More than at the other regions–the Carolinas, Texas and Memphis–in which barbecue is a religion, Kansas City pit masters know that sauce is the crowning touch to their low-and-slow handiwork. In combination with dry rub seasonings, the sauce gives smoked meats their personality.  It’s what you taste most along with the smoky flavor.  One of the very best barbecue sauces my…

Oklahoma Joe’s Barbecue – Kansas City, Kansas

You might expect that a magazine renowned for its staunch advocacy of healthy living and fitness would celebrate only healthful dining and that its food-related content would be penned only by paragons of physical fitness and health. Perhaps because it may want a broader, younger readership demographic, Men’s Health Magazine asked popular but vice-ridden sybarite Anthony Bourdain to author an article entitled “13 Places to Eat Before You Die.” Bourdain, whose seedy past includes heavy drinking, drug use, chain smoking and an addiction to pork wrote a thought-provoking “bucket list” which included restaurants and food–outstanding though they might be–which might actually accelerate your demise. What a way to go! Interspersed within Bourdain’s lucky thirteen restaurants, some of which are among…

Billy Goat Tavern – Chicago, Illinois

The genesis of the idiomatic expression “got your goat” which means “to greatly annoy someone” is in dispute with sources attributing it to both the United States and England.  The American version has it that horse trainers would put a goat in a racing horse’s stall to keep it calm.  When bettors wanted a horse to race badly, they took it away (ergo “got someone’s goat”) and the horse would become agitated and run badly.  No evidence exists to support this legend.  According to the English version, keeping a goat in the barn has a calming effect on cows, thereby motivating them to produce more milk.  When rapscallions wanted to upset competing cattle ranchers, they would abscond with their goat…

Bert’s Burger Bowl – Santa Fe, New Mexico (CLOSED)

The tee shirts worn by a nattily attired and enthusiastic wait staff at Bert’s Burger Bowl say it all: “Since 1954: One Location Worldwide.” Celebrating its golden anniversary in 2004, Bert’s seems to transcend time with a winning formula: great burgers, terrific service and reasonable prices. Generations of New Mexicans and visitors have made Bert’s a beloved Santa Fe dining destination.  It is such a beloved local institution that then-Representative Tom Udall entered it into the Congressional Record in September, 2004 to commemorate its 50th anniversary. It’s easy to believe Bert’s popularity is an anomaly. It’s open only until 7PM six days a week and until 5PM on Sundays. There’s nowhere to sit inside the restaurant and if you’re in…

In-N-Out Burger – Chandler, Arizona

During a 2011 episode of Break the Chain, the enlightening and entertaining food-centric radio program hosted by the brilliant Ryan Scott, Larry McGoldrick, the professor with the pulchritudinous palate, made some rather unkind comments about Blake’s Lotaburger, an exclusively New Mexico institution.  I cautioned him that local listeners might show up at the radio station armed with pitchforks and torches. That’s how much New Mexicans love the burger franchise whose motto reminds them that “If you are what you eat, you are awesome.” It’s not always easy to express your opinion about something as sacrosanct and beloved as Lotaburger, but inspired by Larry’s honesty, let me share my thoughts about In-N-Out Burger, a California institution that’s beloved beyond the Golden…

Indigo Moon Cafe, Wine and Cheese Shop – Cambria, California

It might be easy to dismiss Cambria as a “jumping off” point to some of California’s most spectacular and  popular sites…until you actually visit Cambria.  That’s when you discover that there is plenty to see and do in this picturesque seaside village on the Central California Coast which Forbes.com declared “one of America’s prettiest towns.”  It’s a town virtually surrounded on three sides by towering pines and Monterey Cyprus which form a natural canopy over the beachside boardwalk.  To its west is the shimmering Pacific Ocean with some of the most pristine, unspoiled beaches in the state. Cambria virtually unfolds along the fabled Highway 1 at exactly the halfway point–240 miles–from both San Francisco and Los Angeles.  Just barely above…