Fuego 505 Rotisserie & Bar – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“I have become obsessed with cooking meat over fire. I get prepared for it. I make sure I’m hungry before I cook it. The smell of the smoke and the aroma of the crackling meat ignites some ancient genetic memories. It makes cooking and eating significantly better.” ~Joe Rogan, Podcast Host Those of us with a carnivorous bent can relate to Joe Rogan’s ode to cooking meat over fire.  There’s absolutely nothing as mouth-watering as the heady aroma and melodious sound of meat searing on the grill or sizzling in a pan.  An argument can easily be made that nothing evokes a wanton lust more than smoke perfumed by meat as it wafts toward our anxiously awaiting nostrils.  The sounds…

Slate Street Billiards Bar & Grille – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Discovering a bubbling crude…Texas tea, black gold, oil that is, transformed Jed Clampett from poor mountaineer who barely kept his family fed to a millionaire residing in a Beverly (Hills that is, swimming pools, movie stars) mansion.  Moving from a tiny ramshackle hovel to a luxurious and palatial dwelling brought with it one surprise after another for Jed and his family.  Among them was “a good strong eatin’ table” upon which “you could serve up a whole barbecued steer.”  Jed’s nephew Jethro who graduated at the top of his glass…”by a good foot” found out from a friend that the room in which the fancy eatin’ table was centered was called a “billy-yard room.”  Ergo, the table was a “billy-yard…

The Grove Cafe & Market – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Voracious readers*, avid aficionados of art and those aflame with a musical ardor know that great books, art and music are imbued with the power to transport them to another time and place. A recent influx of contemporary restaurants in Albuquerque also has that power. If you think about it, having a meal at most Duke City restaurants–transcendent though some may be–is just so…Albuquerque. There’s an almost boring consistency and sameness about many local restaurants. Their sole distinctiveness comes from the foods they serve. It’s very difficult, for example, to picture yourself on the beaches at Cabo San Lucas while sipping on a margarita at Garduño‘s. Noshing on mussels at the Indigo Crow just doesn’t feel like a leisurely repast…

Spinn’s Burger & Beer – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Like him or not, few would disagree that former New Mexico Senator Pete Domenici was one of the most effective legislators on either side of the aisle. Since his election to the United States Senate in 1972, “Saint Pete” as he is known by admirers and critics alike effectively directed the appropriation of significant federal largesse upon the Land of Enchantment. For many native New Mexicans, one of his shining moments came in 1983. During a debate about the spelling of the word (chili or chile), Domenici clarified for the Congressional record that “chili” is “that inedible mixture of watery tomato soup, dried gristle, half-cooked kidney beans, and a myriad of silly ingredients that is passed off as food in…

Lily & Liam Bistro – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Family owned restaurants have been called the heartbeat of a community, its pulse and its roots.  Beyond the tintinnabulation of silver spoons on ceramic coffee mugs and over the hum of conversation, restaurants become living links to the past and storehouses of memories.  They’re are a respite from the strife and stress of our daily vicissitudes.  They help us unwind, relax and catch up with friends and family.  In a sense, these beacons of comfort and repose often become family. Not all restaurants achieve this distinction, of course, and if they do, it usually doesn’t happen quickly.  Restaurants have to prove themselves over time with a combination of memorable food, a homey look and feel and mostly personable, attentive service. …

Bama’s 1865 – Albuquerque, New Mexico (CLOSED)

When we tell people we lived in Mississippi for eight years their typical reaction is something akin to “OMG, that must have been terrible.”  Lumping Alabama and Louisiana into their diatribes, they typically perceive we lived in a poorly educated, mostly rural and unabashedly racist region.  It surprises them to learn that New Mexico ranks below those three states among the least educated states in the country (only West Virgina ranked lower).  We lived in Ocean Springs on the Mississippi Gulf Coast, an almost contiguous metropolitan area from New Orleans to Mobile.  It’s as modern as you can get.   In terms of racism, the Deep South has made significant strides and isn’t as racist as the Boston area was…

La Sirenita – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Our friends, John Martin and Lynn Garner and I couldn’t help but laugh. There before our very eyes was the depiction of a meme come to life. In the dining room of la Sirenita was a papier Mâché reproduction of the bottom half of a mermaid. It reminded us of a meme we recently shared.  That meme depicted a grizzled sailor marooned on a desert island.  On the first panel of the meme the sailor smiled lasciviously as a beautiful and buxom mermaid approached the island.  The second panel shows the sailor cooking the bottom half of the mermaid on a rotisserie.  Yeah, it’s gruesome, but come on, it’s funny, too. The bottom half of a mermaid wasn’t the only…

Joe’s Farm Grill – Gilbert, Arizona

When primitive men, women and asgender people crossed the Bering Straits to escape global freezing, they eventually made their way to the Phoenix area.  Ever since, their progeny has been trying to figure out how to escape global scorching which transpires on most summer days (seven or eight months a year).  They built Biosphere 2, the world’s largest controlled environment.  They built a swimming pool in Chase Field, home of the Arizona Diamondbacks.  When compelled to leave the air conditioned confines of their homes, Phoenicians risk third-degree burns from their car doors and  flee to their summer homes in Prescott and Heber where instead of 130, the temperature is only 99. They also join hordes of tourists in a utopian…

Big Nate’s Family BBQ – Mesa, Arizona

“The Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man” ~Genesis 2:21-22 Ever since God took a rib from Adam and created Eve with it, Adam and Eve’s male desccendents have been craving ribs almost as if wanting to replace the one God took. Whether short ribs, baby back ribs, spare ribs, St. Louis style ribs, or any other type of of rib, the scions of the first couple have a rapacious appetite for…

The Chuck Box – Tempe, Arizona

“I’ll have the great big one,” the barrel-chested behemoth behind me chortled.  One of his companions, a bookish nerd followed up with “I’ll have the big one.”  Not to be outdone, several male Arizona State University (ASU) students took turns ordering either the “great big one” or the “big one.”  Each order was followed by raucous laughter as if they were the first students ever to place their orders for burgers named for their respective sizes (the burgers, not the students’ manhood).  Not one of them dared ask for “the little one” for fear of being humiliated or even ostracized by their fellows.  “What a brilliant marketing strategy!,” I thought as I, too, ordered a “great big one” even though…

Sugar Jam – Scottsdale, Arizona

I often describe my youth in rural, agrarian Peñasco as “bumpkinly naïveté.”  I may have been book smart (and insolent) enough to intimidate some of my teachers, but insofar as experiential smarts, I was one pretty sheltered guy.  The very first black people I ever saw up close were Drew and Shane Roebuck, gazelle-quick running backs for Menaul High School.   I wanted to kill them…not because they were black, but because I couldn’t catch them.  You see, I had a reputation as a fierce tackler.  It didn’t matter the race, ethnicity, religious affiliation or favorite breakfast cereal, I wanted to tackle everyone in a uniform that didn’t have Peñasco’s blue and gold. In basic military training for the Air…