Laguna Burger (12th Street) – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“The best stories are like the best burgers: big, juicy, and messy.” ~A.D. Posey, American Author For men of my generation, a Big Mac was a rite of passage, a graduation from Happy Meal cheeseburgers to a real adult burger…an event akin to transitioning from training wheels to a ten speed bike.  We had grown up singing the jingle “two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun” and finally got to experience one for ourselves.   I had assumed all parents would, when their sons had proven worthy, introduce them to the Big Mac.  You can imagine my surprise upon reading a 2016 Wall Street Journal report that only one in five adults between…

K&I Diner – Albuquerque, New Mexico

In 1960, Albuquerque’s population reached 201,189, more than doubling the city’s tally from the 1950 census. The start of a new decade began an era of expansion, a construction boom in which the burgeoning city began experiencing unprecedented growth. A proliferation of shopping centers was built to serve new neighborhoods. Albuquerque was not yet overrun by horrendous, copycat chain restaurants.  Family owned and operated mom-and-pop dining establishments–like the K&I Diner–were (and still are) your best bet for a great meal. 1960 (March 2nd to be exact) was also the year in which Irene Warner opened Grandma’s K&I Diner (named for her daughter Kay Hess and herself) in the heart of Albuquerque’s industrial district in the far South Valley. She ran…

Relish Gourmet Sandwiches – Albuquerque, New Mexico

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Steve Jobs, Eddie Murphy, Jessie Jackson, entire NBA rosters.  Often missing from scandal sheets outing male celebrities who have fathered love children is the name of one Dagwood Bumstead.  From all outward appearances, Bumstead is an average white collar employee and loving family man with a penchant for taking naps, luxuriating in a bubble bath and constructing and consuming tall, multi-layered, poly-ingredient sandwiches of gravity defying height topped with an olive on a toothpick.  Appearances can be deceiving.  You’re reading it here first.  Dagwood Bumstead’s illegitimate son is (brace yourself) Norville “Shaggy” Rogers, a lanky would-be hipster who always seems to have the munchies.  Shaggy is a nimble contortionist with a penchant for hiding (cowering) in impossibly small…

The Range – Bernalillo, New Mexico

The phoenix of ancient Egyptian mythology was a sacred firebird of beautiful red and gold plumage said to live for centuries. At the end of its life, the phoenix built itself a nest of cinnamon twigs which it then ignited. Both the phoenix and the nest burned fiercely and were reduced to ashes from which a new phoenix arose. Similarly, the Range Cafe in Bernalillo was claimed by a fiery conflagration only to rise up from the ashes to exceed its former glory to become one of the most popular restaurants in New Mexico. Like the phoenix, the Range is a rare breed–one of the few locally owned and operated (non-chain) restaurants which at any given time (make that, almost…

El Rey Del Pollo – Albuquerque, New Mexico

My environmentally-conscious, Prius-driving friend Bruce “Sr. Plata” Silver has a much smaller carbon footprint than that carbon credit-trading hypocrite Al Gore.  No environmental activist would ever condemn Sr. Plata for fouling the air and water with a large amount of greenhouse gas emissions. Instead, he leaves large “al carbon fingerprints,” the finger-licking kind you get from frequenting restaurants which specialize in pollo al carbon, chicken prepared over charcoal. Pollo al carbon has spoiled Sr. Plata. He craves those juicy, spatchcocked, golden-skinned birds speckled with black char, chicken so meaty and delicious it makes store-bought rotisserie chickens look positively anorexic in comparison. Who can blame Sr. Plata?  Made well, pollo al carbon is absolutely addictive. “Finger-licking good” might be a cliche,…

California Pizza Kitchen – Albuquerque, New Mexico

No, your eyes aren’t deceiving you. This is Gil’s Thrilling (And Filling) Blog, champion of the mom-and-pop restaurant, defender of the independently owned eatery, supporter of the family owned and family operated diner…and this is a review of a chain restaurant. No, this blog has not been hijacked by some corporate cabal bent on corrupting the American diet with homogeneous mediocrity…and no, this review was not written under duress or the promise of free food. It was written of my own free will, sound mind and full accord. Lest you condemn this seemingly traitorous affront, hear me out. Several years ago, I made my own version of a Faustian pact. Faust, for the non-English majors among you was a scholar…

Panaderia El Dorado – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“Over the Mountains of the Moon, down the Valley of the Shadow, ride, boldly ride…if you seek for El Dorado.” ~Edgar Allan Poe In the 16th century when the Spaniards reached South America, natives regaled them with tales about a tribe with profligate wealth living high in the Andes. According to raconteurs, when a new chieftain ascended to the throne, he was covered in gold dust. Gold and precious jewels were then tossed into a lake to appease a god who lived underwater. The Spaniards called this golden chief “El Dorado” which translates to “the gilded one.” Legends of El Dorado fueled the Spaniards insatiable lust for gold, an effort they pursued for more than two centuries. Though they found…

Don Choche Tacos Y Cerveza – Albuquerque, New Mexico

“Well, there’s not a taco big enough for a man like me That’s why I order two or three Let me give you a tip, just try a nacho chip It’s really good with bean dip.” ~Weird Al Yankovic – Taco Grande Philosophers and scholars have long pondered just what Rodin’s The Thinker was thinking about.  Okay, some people were probably wondering why he was naked, but mostly we wondered what deep philosophical ruminations occupied his mind.  Theories abound.  Was he contemplating the meaning of life?  Musing about what is truth?  I have my own theory. I believe The Thinker was wondering why the heck anyone would eat at Taco Bell when there are so many better options–especially in New…

A & B Drive In – Truth or Consequences, New Mexico

For five very memorable seasons, Michael Newman, the charismatic and ebullient host of New Mexico True Television and Melinda Frame, the show’s brilliant producer-director had the very best jobs in the world. Though not expressly stated, their true job titles should have been “Ambassadors for the Great State of New Mexico” because that’s what they really were. Every Sunday (8:30AM on KOB-TV Channel 4), they showcased the Land of Enchantment in all its magnificent splendor and incomparable beauty. With the flair of gifted raconteurs, they knew just when narration was necessary and when it was best to let spectacular backdrops tell the story. New Mexico True’s thematic episodes truly fed the soul and capture the imagination.  Note:  You can still…

Pho Bar – Rio Rancho, New Mexico

“In food, as in death, we feel the essential brotherhood of man” – Vietnamese Proverb Western sensitivities cause even those among us who consider ourselves gustatorily open-minded to utter an “ick” or two at what is culinarily acceptable–even considered delicious–in other cultures. Some of us would recoil in disgust at the notion of eating grilled dog, roasted cat, grain-fed mice, beating cobra heart, soft-boiled fetal duck or silk caterpillars, but these are dishes an official Vietnam culture site considers “something special” when skilfully cooked. What the watered down American palate often considers disgusting may, in fact, have deep cultural underpinnings, some of the aforementioned “delicacies” even gracing the tables of royalty. Oftentimes things Americans consider inedible creepy crawlies are eaten…

Central Grill and Coffee House – Albuquerque, New Mexico

It’s been said that “when you feed those in need, you are feeding your soul.”  That is especially true when the giver is practicing selfless giving, a conscious, intentional approach to giving that not only benefits others, but comes during a time when the giver is in dire need of help as well.  When the New Mexico state government’s approach to the Cabrona Virus virtually closed down or limited restaurant operations across the state, it’s an understatement to say restaurateurs were really hurting.  Dozens of restaurants across the Land of Enchantment closed. Hundreds of employees were laid off.   It was during these trying times that several restaurateurs demonstrated truly heroic altruism, showing precisely what it means to be a…